Split

Goodbye

I had tried to see Dennis as much as possible in the days leading up to my departure, and he seemed to be getting more and more depressed as the time went on.
I kept trying to tell him that I'd see him again, that I could have his number and we could talk and meet up, but he didn't seem convinced. He seemed to think that as soon as I was in the real world again that I'd forget all about him, even though I assured him that I would come back.

Today was the day I was leaving the building, still unsure of where I had been kept all this time. Barry had been chatting about how we were going to go about getting me out, seeing as my face had been all over the news. He was suggesting that I wear a disguise until I'm away from him and this place, he'd leave me somewhere I was familiar and then we'd go our separate ways.
"Wait, wear a disguise? What sort of disguise?"

"Just a wig or something, I picked one up for you. I'll get you some sunglasses and no one will suspect a thing," He winked at me but I didn't let the frown slip from my face.

"You said we'd go our separate ways... we'd still see each other, right? I mean you could give me your number and we can still meet up?"

He sighed as though he was dreading what he was about to say, "I don't think that's such a great idea. Don't you think having my number would seem suspicious? And besides, Patricia and Dennis got rid of your mobile a long time ago. If I was going to give you my number then you'd have to be carrying it on you... and if someone found that then I'd be directly linked to all this."

"But-"

"No 'but's, Casey, this was your decision, now you're either going to do this the right way or not at all."

"I just want to see you guys..."

"And you'll get your chance when all this calms down, but right now you're going to have to go through a lot-especially as you could potentially have information on the missing girls... are you sure you want to do this?"

"It's for the best... isn't it?"

Barry put his hand on my shoulder, "Yeah, sweetie, it is."
I nodded and did my best to smile at him, holding back tears.
He rolled his eyes at me, "if you're gonna get all emotional over it," He hugged me loosely and I laughed through the sobs.

"I'm going to miss you."

"I'll miss you too... I guess..." He let me go and half smiled, "you'll be okay, you're stronger than you think you are. Keep your chin up and focus on the future."

"I will."

"Now I think there's a few people that want to say goodbye... you ready?"

I nodded quickly, preparing myself for whatever sadness was about to come.
Hedwig blinked back at me after a moment, his bottom lip stuck out already and making my heart sink, "Don't go, you can stay here and we can play games and watch TV and listen to music!"

"Hedwig, I told you why I have to go... and I will come back."

"But no one else listens to me like you do."

"They will, I'll make sure of it."

His arms wrapped around my waist and he hugged me, tighter than I think he meant to, and I had to hold my breath until he let me go again.
"When will you come back?"

"I don't know, as soon as I can."
He gazed at me with pleading eyes that made me want to tell him that I'd stay, but I knew that wasn't going to work anymore. I knew what I had to do. I offered him a reassuring smile, "I promise I'll be back as soon as I can."

He nodded and blinked the tears away, being replaced by someone else. I hadn't met her before but I recognised her from the videos on Barry's computer.
"Hey, we haven't been introduced-"

"Jade, isn't it?"

"Yes! Well I did not expect you to know who I was."

"I guess I've done my research."

"Good on you! I just wanted to tell you how much of an inspiration you are, you know? I mean you totally singlehandedly screwed the horde and stopped the beast! Serious girl power! I wanted you to know that everyone is going to welcome you back... if you decide to come back, that is..."

"Of course, I have commitments here now."

She raised her eyebrows, "the thing with Dennis? Not gonna lie, a little weird... but after what you've done, no one wants to judge. And if you don't come back then have a good life, Casey Cooke."

"Thank you," I smiled politely, already liking this stranger.

She closed her eyes and when they opened again, Patricia was looking back at me. The shock must have been clear in my expression because she chuckled, "not who you were expecting?"

"Hedwig let you take the light again?" I was almost angry that he'd ignored my warnings. 

"Not Hedwig, for once... Barry agreed to let me say goodbye. He's given me two minutes to wish you well, so I won't bore you. Again, I'm sorry... and I do hope you'll return. It seems that everyone has grown rather fond of you."

"That's nice to hear... they said you aren't talking to them?"

She looked at the floor, "sometimes it's better to accept you're in the wrong and leave it at that. They don't want me to talk to them any more than I want to."

"You're part of the group whether they like it or not, they could forgive you."

"I wouldn't expect that. But it's refreshing to speak to someone who seems to see the good in everyone... even when it may not be there."

"Will you be okay?"

"Of course, my dear, I always am. I'd better go, I'm sure there's someone who would value spending this time with you more than me. Be safe."

"I will," I watched her change from herself to someone painfully familiar, and my stomach lurched. I had been dreading saying goodbye to Dennis more than anyone, and his morbid expression made it all the more heartbreaking.
"I wasn't sure you'd come to say goodbye."

"I didn't want to" He replied flatly and I felt myself start to well up.

"Then why did you?"

"I didn't want to be selfish. I wanted to make sure I was here to see you if it was going to be the last time... I wanted to make sure you were alright."

"I'm okay, but I'm really going to miss you," I wiped a tear which had escaped away from my cheek, "I'm going to be back before you know it."

"I hope that's the case. It's just... it's so hard knowing that I'm not going to see you every day... to say goodbye and know that I'm letting you walk away... I don't want to see you go."
I stepped up to him and slid my hands up his back and to his shoulders, holding him as close to me as I could. He rested his chin on my shoulder and hugged me back, sighing heavily, "you sure you're going to come back?"

"Of course, the first chance I get I'll be here again."
He nodded but I didn't think he had accepted that I was going to return, so I moved back to look at him.
"I love you, okay? I couldn't stay away if I wanted to."

"I love you too. I just wish there was another way."

"Me too."
We held each other again and stayed like that for as long as we could before Barry was demanding the light back.

Dennis grimaced, "is it too much to ask to get a little time to say goodbye?" He pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, "my times up. I don't want to leave you..."

"I'll be okay," I smiled, "you don't have to worry. I won't stop thinking about you until I'm in your arms again. I mean that."

He tried to half smile but it died shortly after the effort was made, "you know I feel the same."

I kissed him then, not caring that tears spilled down my face, or that I was almost sobbing against his mouth, or even that I was about to have to give some crap story about why I'd been missing for so long... all I cared about was Dennis.
And that I was about to leave him.
And that I didn't know how long it would be until I saw him again.
And that I was about to make him miserable for a choice that I had made.

But most of all...

I needed to somehow say goodbye.