Split

Hi?

I dragged my feet when I got let out early from college, and I took my time walking home. I had no idea how I would even begin to talk to Kevin as if nothing had happened.
I opened the door and walked in quietly, hoping for at least another few minutes to myself, and I heard him talking. It was mumbled from the bedroom and I drifted closer, wondering who was talking.
I stood outside the closed door and put my ear to the wood. It was definitely Kevin's voice and he sounded upset.
"-don't want to go on like this... I'm sorry for everything, if you can hear me, I'm sorry that I pushed you away. You were there for me every day and I let you become hated. I didn't mean to let it get that bad. Now you're not here I... I realise how much I need you. Just because I made you feel like you weren't needed, you were... you are... I always wanted to talk, I just never seemed to build up the courage to do it. If you are in there somewhere then I hope you hear me. And if you don't come back, I want you to know that you're still my best friend, and I'm so grateful for everything you ever did for me."

It went quiet and I waited a moment to see if he'd say anymore. Was he talking about Dennis?
I crept back to the front door, opening it loudly and slamming it shut again. I went and sat on the sofa and waited for him to come and see me.

After a moment he stepped in and I didn't look up-I had grabbed a magazine on the way into the room and had flicked through a few pages.
"Good day?" I asked, still not looking at him.
There was no response. This was what I was afraid of. What was I going to say? He wasn't okay... and neither was I. I just wanted to be able to talk to him without the constant lurching in my stomach.
"Look, we need to talk," I tore my eyes from the magazine and looked towards him, "I dont-" I stopped dead, throat closing up and leaving me lost for words. I didn't want to believe what I was seeing but... I knew that face. That stern expression, the rigid posture... I still couldn't speak.
Dennis smiled at me, "hi."

"Hi?" I repeated hysterically, "hi? Is that all you can say?!" I burst into tears and he was suddenly by my side, holding me close to him and shushing me in a soothing tone. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as though I was clinging on for dear life and he stroked my hair.
It was so difficult to regain control of myself, all the misery I'd felt, all the guilt, the worry... it had all built up and was now pouring out of me.
He let me cry for a long time, accepting that I needed time to be able to process his return.
"Why were you gone so long?" I wept, "I needed you here, I missed you so much!"

"I missed you too, I'm sorry, I didn't want to ever leave you," he brushed my hair away from my eyes, "but I'm here now, you don't need to be sad anymore, okay?"
I nodded, tears still spilling down my face, and he kissed my forehead.
I didn't know how to feel. It was overwhelming to have him here again and I was so happy to see him... but... now I had to figure out how I was going to tell him what had happened between me and Kevin...

After a few more minutes I'd calmed down enough to talk and he was sitting next to me with my head on his shoulder, "what brought you back?" I asked, worried he might already know about Kevin and I.

"I don't know," he admitted, "I was given the light and was just sitting on the bed. I don't know what happened."

My mind went back to what Kevin had said and I let myself smile, "I know what brought you back."

"What? Was it something bad?" He asked, assuming just like the others that he didn't have a useful purpose. It made me sad that he thought that of himself.

"No," I looked at him, "Kevin called for you. He was so sad... and he wanted his friend back... do you know what that means?" Dennis just stared at me, "it means that your purpose was to be there for Kevin. Not just to clean up after him, or protect him, or because of anything bad... your purpose was to be his friend. You were there when no one else was. That's your purpose in Kevin's life."

He frowned, "I don't believe that... Kevin doesn't like me, why would he want me back?"

"Didn't you hear him?" He shook his head, "he was saying that he was sorry and that he missed you. He said that he wished he'd spoken to you sooner and that he missed having you as his friend."

"Huh, he could have fooled me..."

"Maybe talk to him about it. He might surprise you," I shuddered at the thought that Kevin might tell Dennis about me and cleared my throat, "or give him some time... I guess it's up to you."

"Yeah. Maybe I'll talk to him sometime... Casey?"

"Yes?"

"I've really missed you," he kissed me gently and I sighed, relieved to have the familiar feeling again.

"I missed you too."