Split

College

"If you left because he was hurting you, Casey, then you can tell me. The number of people that have been through... what you've been through, and then find partners who are the same as-"

"Just stop," I snapped as I drank my coffee, "please. Barry didn't hurt me."

"Okay..." Susan didn't sound at all convinced and continued to make breakfast.

"You know what? I'm not hungry. I'll see you later."

"Casey," she sighed, "I didn't mean to upset you, come on-you need to eat."

"I'll have something later. Have a good day," I picked up my bag and left for college, needing to get away from her as soon as I could. It had only been three days since I'd left the house but living with Susan again made it feel like three years. She was a lovely woman and only had my best interests at heart, but she thought she knew best and kept on about Barry. I just needed a minute to breathe.

I was half an hour early for college and was waiting around the front when I thought I saw a man with some very familiar glasses. I had to double take and frowned when I saw no one there. I jogged over to where I thought he was standing and peered behind the hedges. There was a car park behind it and I could see a man in black walking away, his shaved head bobbing over the various cars. I wanted to call after him and run but I didn't want to draw attention to myself, so a quick walking pace had to do instead.
I wasn't sure if he'd seen me spot him but he seemed to walk faster, so when I was through the car park I started to jog. When I lost sight of him I ran in the direction I thought he went, but stopped when I reached an empty car park the other side of the school. I spun around, looking in all directions, but couldn't see him.
"Dennis?" I called, my eyes darting around the vacant area, "Dennis are you here? I know I saw you."
I spun round in a final attempt to find him but there was no one.
"Dennis..." I dropped to my knees, letting my bag slip from my shoulder and hiding my face in my hands.
The hopes that had risen in my chest had fallen hard and the disappointment was almost too much to bear. I cried quietly until I felt I could collect myself enough to go to college, then wandered slowly to class.
It was difficult to concentrate on class work when I felt like my heart had just been torn from my chest, and I doodled aimlessly in my notepad.

I was out of my seat and towards the door as soon as the bell went and left the building. I took the long route home and put my headphones in. 'Monster' by Imagine Dragons played quietly and I turned it up to full volume. I swallowed back the lump that was climbing my throat and tried to focus on walking. I had a strange feeling that I was being watched and I thought back to the moment from this morning. I looked behind me and thought I saw movement down a side road. I looked forward and continued to walk.
*if I told you what I was would you turn your back on me?*
I spun round and stared at the street around me.
*and if I seem dangerous would you be scared?*
I walked over to where I thought I saw someone move and peered into a little alley way.
I walked into the darkness of the alley and stood watching. There was only one place he could be-a dip in the wall where trash bins were grouped together, and I walked slowly over to it.
*a monster, a monster, I've turned into a monster. A monster, a monster, and it keeps getting stronger*
I got over to the bins and felt my heart sink when there was no one behind it. I sighed and left the alleyway, continuing my journey home.
*can I clear my conscious, if I'm different from the rest, do I have to run and hide? I never said that I want this, this burden came to me, and it's made its home inside*
I felt the tears brimming in my eyes and blinked them away.
Maybe I was going crazy...

I was almost home when I had the feeling again that someone was behind me. I waited a moment, showing no signs of slowing down, and then my head flew round.
I saw someone hide round a corner and I quickly ducked into an alley between two shops, pulling my headphones out. I held my breath and waited for him to walk past.
Just when I thought I must have been seeing things, he walked past the mouth of the alleyway, a puzzled frown across his face. I quickly grabbed him by the sleeve and pulled him towards me, causing a gasp to escape his lips.
"Why are you following me around?" I snapped, holding him inches away from my face.
He seemed at a loss for words and his mouth hung open a little.
"Answer me! You were all going to leave me!"

"I... didn't want to..." He was still surprised that I'd caught him and was gazing at me with a dumbstruck expression.

"Then why? Why haven't you spoken to me?"

He blinked a few times before filling the gap in between us and kissing me. At first I wanted to fight back and demand to know what was going on, but I'd missed him... I had missed my chance to say goodbye to him and all the emotion connected with that came rushing back. I never wanted to leave him again.
My hands crawled over his shoulders and around the back of his neck, and he hugged my waist. When his lips released mine, I stared at his eyes which remained closed.
"I never wanted to leave you. It was Barry's idea... they want to skip town, but what good will that do?" His eyes looked to mine, "they only want to keep you safe... but I couldn't leave. I don't want to leave you..."

"Then don't" I pleaded as a tear rolled down my cheek, "We can work this out..."

"You can't help us... I have to go... I love you, Casey."

"I love you too," I hugged him and he kissed my head before letting his hands slip from my waist.

"I need to go..."

"Please, don't..."

"I have no choice... I have to go... maybe I'll see you again..."

"Maybe? Maybe isn't good enough!"

"That's all I can offer, I'm sorry... we need to do something... and it might not end well... I... I can't promise that we'll be there for you..."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't say... I'm not even supposed to be out here... I'm sorry I really have to go." He stepped out of the alleyway and I followed. I put my arms out and held his waist, embracing him one last time before he had to leave. He seemed to cover my whole body as he hugged me back, inhaling deeply, "I love you."

I didn't reply-I couldn't-I just nodded quickly as he drifted away.

I watched him leave and then walked home in agonising silence. 

I've been listening to that song a lot recently, check it out if you haven't heard it :) fits quite well I think! Sorry it's so depressing right now! I will update soon! X