VOLUME 0: AUDITIONS

Entry #43: Fire Flies and Water Falls

FIRE FLIES AND WATER FALLS

Fireflies and waterfalls.

Fire flies, and water falls.

Eidel is a young boy. There are many things that are out of humanity's control and this bothers him. He is an organic machine made of complex parts and one error may cause him to stop functioning properly. And yes, these are things that a kid should not be worrying about at his age, but Eidel learned about stuff in advance. He is a smart child.

Unfortunately, "smart" is not the same as "brave."

"Knowing" is not the same as "understanding."

He knows a lot of things, yes. But he rarely understands them. Eidel wants to be many things at once: an astronaut, a singer, a businessman, a painter. A singing astronaut who owns a successful business. And also paints.

Why can't I do many things at once? Why do things fail to always be according to plan? These are only some of the questions that run around Eidel's brain.

Fire flies and water falls.

Fireflies and waterfalls. Like what he always does, Eidel's mind wanders off way too far that when he snapped out of his daydream, he finds himself alone in a forest. The stars are littered across the night sky and the sound of water rushing down fills the air.

He marvels at the beauty of the dots of flame floating above the water. Eidel tries to capture one of them in his hands, but he fails. Every time he opens his hands, he sees no fireflies—only reminders of his failures. His closed fists get filled with torn pieces of failed exams and rejected letters with every attempt of catching at least one firefly.

Soon enough, Eidel kneels down the ground in defeat. Tears stream down his face. Water falls.

He looks up the sky to gaze at the stars which are nothing but hot, glowing fireballs. Fire flies.

For a moment, Eidel wishes that everything is in control and that nothing goes against plan. However, when he closes his eyes to imagine such a world, all he saw was darkness. Not because his eyes are closed, but because a static, unchanging world would be just that—pure nothingness.

Randomness ensures change. Chaos grants the possibility of order.

Maybe it's okay to just let things be. Maybe I don't have to stress about things too much. It's okay to rest every now and then before trying again.

And so he did. Eidel wipes off his tears and cupped his hands open. It takes a while and it does not guarantee an exact number, but soon enough a firefly landed on his palms. He gently closes his hands with a bright smile on his face.

Worrying too much brought nothing but stress and trouble in his mind. Things can get out of control pretty quick, but that's fine. Eidel stands up and starts walking back home with a firefly in hand.

Fire flies, and water falls.