Doll Face (discontinued)

Doll Face [33]

~ch 33

Confession~

Your POV

Removing myself from the hug I moved aside from the door letting him in. I followed him to the couch and awkwardly sat down, making sure to keep my distance.

"So umm..." I played with the hem of my hoodie awkwardly trying to find the words to say "What did you wanna talk about?"

"It's about Kihyun's behavior."

"You sound like his parent." I said laughing softy.

"I'm serious though." He nudged me slightly his voice playful also.

"Well what about it?"

"I know it's hard to believe but I don't think It was Kihyun's plan to hurt you in the first place.... I have to admit something (y/n). As much as I wanted to make it seem like I loved you it, started off as just a plan to teach Kihyun a lesson."

"A lesson?" I laughed mockingly "What lesson?"

"We were discussing about how Kihyun only seemed to be using you, cause like you know if you really love someone you wouldn't only want to have sex with them."

"Yeah and your reasoning for making me think you liked me?"

"Once he asked to go to busan with you, we thought he changed but once I first saw you it was pretty obvious that you guys had done it recently and some part of me felt sorry for you, like it was my job to protect you."

"So you're saying you feel for me out of pity."

"I woul- Alright at first I fell for you out of pity. I asked you out on that date as an experiment and I made you feel like I loved you just so Kihyun could realize that love doesn't work the way he wanted. I'm not saying Kihyun only wanted sex in a relationship but to be truthful Kihyun sucks at showing his emotions. He got jealous and mistook it with anger and got angry at you.  He only wanted sex because he thought  you were so easy to have the first time, he thought that was the only way to keep you because it would remind you of the day you both fell in love with each other."

"And he was obviously wrong." I said finishing Hyungwon's statement, my stare fixated onto the ground.

"Yeah... But it was never our intention to hurt you. It was dumb for me to make it seem like I was a love interest. I should have been honest with you but I thought it would work."

"Now I'm known as that one model that cheated with two kpop idols."

"It's... It's kind of true... If you were true to loving Kihyun you wouldn't have fallen of me the same way I way I had fallen for you."

"We  weren't anything official I was stuck with the feeling of think we were friends with benefits and what do I know I'm just a dumb nineteen year old. I was scared of my own feelings, scared of knowing that I let someone that I thought loved me, have his way with me. I didn't want to face that fact and I did anything I could to cover that up." My voice cracked as the lump in my throat grew.

"I never meant to fall in love you Hyungwon. But this isn't just my fault... I could have wallowed in my own misery, figured out what was going on between us..."

"I know I came in between what could have happened but I wanted to teach him a lesson."

"And look what happened Hyungwon! None of us are closer!  Let's face it we're all hurt in some way. But to know you played me too doesn't make you any better than Kihyun or me!"

"I know it was my mistake and I would do anything to take it back if I knew this was going to happen."

"What did you expect to happen? Kihyun to realize he was losing someone he really loved to someone new? You knew he got jealous and you knew he sucked at expressing emotions and would just want sex. Hell Hyungwon I bet you even knew how vulnerable I felt and you decided to use it to your advantage." My voice came out as a whisper as I gritted my teeth holding back the tears.