Don't Come Back For Me

A Midnight Adventure.

       Sleep never came as easily as you did. You tossed and turned drunkenly for a few hours after, wondering when the hell your eyes would shut and stay that way all night.

       As you were nearing sleep, an unfamiliar sound resounded throughout your room. Squinting your eyes and peering at a figure surrounded by green light, you tried to figure out who it was. The figure lightly stepped forward, "(Y/N). Come on, (Y/N) eugh get up." They weren't speaking softly, instead harshly urging you to get out of bed. You sat up, glad to have pulled a blanket over your middle and thankful they hadn't pulled it off you.

       "What the fffffuck?" You ran a hand down your face, suddenly understanding it all. "What are you doing he- -hic- here?" You squinted back up at Rick, pulling the blankets tightly against you now. "Jesus, kid," he looked around before settling back on you. "A-Are you eugh drunk? Whatever, get ready. I need eugh your help again."

       You nodded, "It's... it was too hooot." You shooed him out with your hands, "I might be drunk, but... but I still have my nnnnndignity. Get outta here, I gotta get dressed." With a frustrated groan, Rick walked out the door, mumbling something about how he thought he'd 'been done with the naked wake up calls'.

       Groggily, and quite stupidly, you got up and pulled on a pair of boxers. "Shit." Your clothes were still in the washroom, having been put through the drying cycle. "Whatever." You stepped out of your room, walking past Rick and rubbing your eye with one palm, yawning.

       Rick stared momentarily as you passed in only your boxers, moving to the community washroom for the apartment and grabbing your clothes from the dryer. You threw them into a basket and walked back into your apartment, setting the basket on your couch and rummaging through for an outfit. "What?" You looked at Rick, catching him staring again, "You wanna help me get dressed or something, oh weird one? Yeesh, staring 'n' shit." Rick diverted his gaze and you bent over, digging through until you found a pair of black shorts and a white t-shirt. You pulled them on, grabbing a pair of socks and shoving your feet into your black converse once again. "You only forget socks once or twice," you muttered aloud.

       As soon as you were dressed, Rick grabbed your arm and pulled you through a glowing green vortex. The bright light really hurt your eyes and you squeezed them shut, trying to make the aching in your brain go away. "Here." You looked up to see Rick standing in front of you before looking down at his hand. There were three pills there. "It'll sober eugh you up, dumbass." Glaring, you took the pills, jumping at the electricity that ran through you when your fingertips made contact. Either Rick didn't notice, or he had a really good poker face. With a shrug, you took the pills and dry-swallowed, feeling light headed for a minute before you felt normal again.

       "Well hot-damn, it worked." Rick rolled his eyes and walked to his desk, grabbing something before he walked back towards you. "Alright, we're gonna use the eugh portal gun this time." Your jaw dropped yet again at the mention of one of his wacky inventions. "Seriously?!"

       Rick nodded, "Well, eugh it's really more of an interdimensional gun, in a eugh in a sense." Your eyes were wide as he approached you again, your lab coat in his hands yet again. "You almost eugh left this. You-You might need it." You took the material and shrugged into it, adjusting the collar before you were dragged through another portal.

       "No fucking way." You spun around, seeing a planet made completely of crystal, it seemed. A few people wandered past, also made of crystals. It was one great big crystal, all the same shade of pale blue. Rick ushered you through, pushing you past ogling creatures as you stared right back at them. There were markets selling crystals in the form of jewelry and foods, people using crystals as a form of currency. Rick grumbled, pulling you along until you reached what looked like a palace. "Alright," he sighed, pulling out your glitter. He handed a tube to you and spread his arms out, "throw it on me. eugh It's the only way we'll be able to get in."

       Laughing, you threw the glitter all over him, watching as he shut his eyes and pursed his lips. When he pried his eyes open, he groaned and looked down, seeing his sparkly outfit before pulling out the other tube. You followed the same thing he did as you, too, were baptized in the name of the gay. With another laugh, you followed Rick up to the palace doors, knocking and watching a crystal creature pull the door open.

       "137." It nodded and allowed Rick to go inside, dragging you with him. "Why'd he say that?" You questioned Rick, who only promised to explain later. "Alright," he pushed you against a wall, keeping you in place as he dug in his pockets, "take eugh this blaster and shoot anything that tries to interfere. We-We're eugh toppling another government, a request for a-a-a friend." You accepted the weapon and watched as he pulled a half-circle from his pocket, holding the portal gun in his other hand. He moved to the center of the room and laid the device down, tapping the top with his foot. A very loud beep rang out, catching the attention of a very near guardsman who went barreling after Rick, a club in his hands and ready to swing. You fired twice, hitting his shoulder, then his head. He collapsed and shattered as the beeping on the device was getting higher.

       "Come on!" Rick pulled you through another portal, the vortex closing up behind him. You were back in his garage. You stumbled and fell, knocking Rick down with you. You put your hands up, catching yourself on his thighs before you could faceplant into his lap. You stood up quickly, trying to hide your embarrassment as you helped Rick stand up again. He must have been as flustered as you. His face was red and he pulled his flask out, taking a quick drink.

       He sat at his desk, rubbing his temples. You had left your phone, so you had no idea what time it was. "So," your voice broke through the awkwardness, "why'd he call you 137?"

       Rick looked up at you, his face not as red anymore, though he didn't meet your gaze. "Because eugh I'm this dimension's Rick, and they deal with eugh other dimension Ricks. It's easier for them to-to classify by dimension number." You'd heard about other dimensions before, but you didn't think Rick knew that.

       "Holy shit! So... So you're saying there's not even just different universes, but whole other dimensions!" It wasn't a question, "Dude! I've been trying to crack that theory since I started college!"

       Rick shrugged, "Apparently there's a lot you eugh don't know really exists."

       You smiled, "Alright, story time, right now. I wanna hear everything that my professor neglected to tell me, possibly for fear that it would further my want to take over the world!" You clapped your hands together. Rick raised a brow, "It's, like, eugh 4 in the morning. Shouldn't you go sleep somewhere?"

       You shook your head, placing a hand on your hip and waving a finger on your free hand exaggeratedly, "Nuh uh, honey-boo. My happy ass ain't sleeping until I've heard it all."

       Rick rolled his eyes, taking another drink from his flask. "Fine, take a seat."

       Sitting on the floor, you listened to Rick tell you about all the correct scientific theories, as well as false mathematical equations and incorrect examinations, until the sun came up.