Don't Come Back For Me

Dreams.

       The more you thought about it, the more you realized you saw Rick when you slept. You'd been driven to sleeping more frequently, waking to find yourself in a slightly better mood before you'd snack, use the restroom, shower, and return to bed. You knew it wasn't healthy, but you didn't mind. You were doing better, even if you weren't alright.

        As you closed your eyes, laying on Rick's lab coat yet again, you found yourself brought back to Rick, going on another wacky adventure.

Now here you go again
You say you want your freedom
Well, who am I to keep you down?
It's only right that you should
Play the way you feel it
But listen carefully to the sound
Of your loneliness

       There was nobody checking up on you anymore, which was how you could sleep so often. Beth had said it was fine if you continued visiting the garage again before announcing that she and Summer could no longer visit because Beth was working days and Summer was training as her understudy, despite having no degree. You were all alone now, but you weren't at the same time. You had your dreams, which meant you had Rick.

Like a heartbeat.. drives you mad
In the stillness of remembering what you had
And what you lost...
And what you had...
And what you lost

       You still hurt when you remembered how Rick was gone now, your heart squeezing consistently. But you were coping with that, slowly going insane as you slept often, staying awake less and less. Sometimes, you'd play games, knowing your body couldn't stay asleep all the time. You never did start taking sleeping pills, not wanting to have to deal with that. But the second you were able to, you slept.

Thunder only happens when it's raining
Players only love you when they're playing
Say... Women... they will come and they will go
When the rain washes you clean... you'll know, you'll know

       As you sighed, content, and inhaled Rick's scent, you remembered all the nights you'd fallen asleep on him, remembering how it felt when he'd wrap his arms over you and fall asleep comfortably. It never had been part of one big game, as much as you were concerned.

Now here I go again, I see the crystal visions
I keep my visions to myself
It's only me
Who wants to wrap around your dreams and...
Have you any dreams you'd like to sell?
Dreams of loneliness...

       When you slept, you were no longer lonely, no longer afraid or desperate. When you slept, you could hear Rick's voice, feel him, touch him. You could interact with him as much as your sub-conscious would let you. He wasn't truly gone.

Like a heartbeat... drives you mad...
In the stillness of remembering what you had...
And what you lost...
And what you had...
And what you lost

       You knew your actions would one day drive you mad, but you never could bring yourself to care. You were obsessed with wishing Rick would come back, with wanting nothing more than to sit down and watch another movie with him. You just wanted him back.