Don't Come Back For Me

How Do I Say This?

       After you'd made your birthday wish, you spent the next two days pumping yourself up for the moment. You had to time it right, and you had to be sure you could say the word. You were really afraid of choking up in the middle, of not being able to say that damned word. You'd brought yourself to say it in the mirror a few times, the word rolling awkwardly off your tongue. 

       You stood in front of the mirror at 8AM, getting ready to head over to work with Rick. It was Friday, so you knew the kids would be in school. Beth was at work, and Jerry was doing whatever the hell it was Jerry did. If he was looking for a job, he must really suck at it.

        After you were certain you looked your best, and you'd calmed yourself down, convinced it was okay to say the word, you began making your way to Rick's place, driving this time instead of walking. You practiced saying it a few times on the drive over, still feeling awkward when you said the word. It wasn't something you were used to saying, it wasn't something in your normal vocabulary. It was like speaking a foreign language.

       As you pulled into the driveway, finding the garage door open despite the morning chill, you were jittery and anxious, your stomach a pit of nerves. Rick gave you his classic morning smile as you walked into the garage, making your heart do flips as it had every morning, and every evening when you'd leave. You exchanged greetings with him and sat on the edge of his desk, watching him toy around with whatever he was working on. "Hey, kid," he stood, "I figured eugh this was better than standing all the time." 

       Rick pushed a new desk chair out from between some shelves and brought it over to you. "This was long overdue," he chuckled, sitting back in his desk chair. You smiled as you sat in your own, enjoying the black fabric. "Soft as hell, just the way I like it." You laughed leaning back in the chair. Rick laughed as he continued working on whatever was in front of him.

       "What's that?" He paused and set a screwdriver down, "Just a eugh radio. I'm trying to get it in that hunka junk, eugh but it's been difficult getting in there to find a spot for it."

       Without a word, you walked over to the cruiser and looked inside, "There's always the obvious spot for it, you know." Rick peered over his shoulder, "I'm not replacing the old one, just eugh adding a new, better one. I'm not going through the process of reintroducing my phrases over the radio." You clicked your tongue for a minute before pausing, "Attach it to the roof. Put it in the back, in the middle of the roof. Nobody sits there, nobody's gonna really hit their head if it goes there."

       Rick set the radio down and walked over to where you were, peering into the cruiser for a minute. He shrugged, "I guess you're right, kid. Smart eugh thinking. That's why you're my Igor." He sat with a laugh and you couldn't help but blush slightly at the way he emphasized 'my'.

        You spent a few hours helping Rick solder pieces to the inside of the radio, improving the receiving and transmitting signals, before you were struggling to attach the radio.

       You were crouched down in the back, with Rick leaning over the passenger seat. It took a few tries, but you eventually got the radio to stay in place, screwing it in and checking to make sure it would still work with how often you had to adjust and scrape it around.

       "Well that was fun." You climbed out of the cruiser, finally being able to stand straight, and cracked your back.

       "Yep. Well, I'm done for the day. Meet you eugh in the living room for a movie?" You nodded with a grin before you made your way to the living room while Rick cleaned up and closed the garage. You made your way over to the disc reader and put in a movie of your choosing. Of course it was another romantic comedy. Rick seemed to expect you to pick a movie as he sat on the couch and threw his arm over the back, most likely waiting for the cuddle bug to attack.

        Once you got the movie playing, you anxiously curled up next to him, your heart beating a million miles a minute as you were scared. 

       What if we can't do this anymore? What if I make it awkward?
        No I can't think like that! There's a fifty fifty chance with the results here. It could work.
        Remember that when you're crying in your apartment.
       No, I'll remember that when I'm laughing here with him.

       Your funeral.

       You pushed your personal discussion away and tuned into the movie, enjoying the flirtatious jokes being passed back and forth among the characters. It really reminded you of your actions with Rick, which made you smile. Rick draped his arm over you and you nuzzled slightly closer, enjoying the slow beginning to the movie.

       About halfway in, you couldn't stop thinking. So you excused yourself to go to the bathroom. While you were in the small room, you heard Rick laugh at what was most likely a cheesy joke as you relieved yourself. As you washed your hands, you stared at your reflection, "You can do this. Be a big kid. I'm a big kid now." You sang softly, bringing a light smile to your lips. You took in a heavy breath, trying to relieve the heavy feeling in your stomach before you made your way downstairs. You anxiously ran a hand through your hair as you began to shake with a horrific amount of nerves.

       There's never a good time to tell somebody. It just happens, whether you expect it or not. Your stomach was twisting in knots as you moved into the living room, slowly pausing the movie and standing in front of Rick. You twisted your fingers around your shirt anxiously, trying to calm yourself. The nervous butterflies in your stomach were fluttering rapidly. 

       Rick gave you a curious look when you paused the movie and stood in front of him. "You alright, (Y/N)?" You let out an airy laugh and continued twisting your shirt."Um, y-yea." Your voice was shaking.

        You took in a deep breath and looked at the ground, your hands shaking. "So, there's, um, a thing that I wanna tell you. And, y'know, it's hard for m-me to say, so just bear with me here." Rick began to look worried and you shook your head, "Don't worry, I'm fine. It's fine, just really weird for me to say."

       You drew in a shaky breath, "So, um, I'm gonna try, but, seriously, bear with me." Rick nodded slowly.

       "I-I'm in l-" You laughed nervously, clearing your throat as you continued to tug your shirt. "I'm not in labor," you chuckled, trying to ease your nerves. Rick began to appear slightly more worried, "Kid, do you need something?"

       "N-No, hold on. I can do this. I.. God, how do they do this in the movies?" You looked up, feeling nervous tears building. Your voice shook heavily, "I, u-uh, I'm i-in-in lo-love wi-with you," you paused and squeezed your eyes shut, your body trembling as you urged yourself to say the final word, "R-Rick."