Don't Come Back For Me

Life Without.

       You had been correct in assuming this was hell. You weren't functioning properly after that morning. You'd showered twice over the course of the month that had passed, refusing to eat until Summer or Beth would wander in and force you to take something, even if it was just a light snack.

         When Morty had found you, frozen on the ground as you clutched his grandfather's lab coat, he had already known. Jerry hadn't cared much, though he was hurt when you cussed him out for being an inconsiderate ass. Beth was brought to tears and Summer had dropped her phone, cracking the screen. What had surprised you most about that was she didn't care, even after she stepped on that same device rushing over to you sobbing on the couch.

       They had been taking care of you after you refused to answer texts and calls from all members of the family, though Morty had begun to side more with his father on the subject, stating that he didn't care if Rick came back or not. You had hit the kid as hard across the face as you could before you stormed off and sped away in your truck. 

       Now you lay in your bed, still clutching the lab coat. You'd long since emptied the pockets, finding that he had left his portal gun and several other oddities to you. You'd managed to find the time to attach the garage key and the tiny vial of blue glitter to a silver chain which you now wore consistently, refusing to remove it unless you were showering. 

       "Sweetheart, I know you miss him, but he wouldn't want you like this." Beth was sitting on the edge of your bed as you held the lab coat to you, inhaling the intoxicating scent as you wept bitterly yet again. Beth rubbed your back in a soothing, motherly manner, but you could only think back to that morning when Rick had done the same. That only caused you to sob harder, drawing in shaky breaths as your shoulders shook with your weak cries.

        Summer was standing near Beth, holding a half eaten sandwich and a nearly full bottle of water. That was all you had managed to get down before you refused to eat any more. Beth sighed before standing, "(Y/N), please, this isn't healthy. I understand that you cared for him more than anybody I've ever met," she chuckled weakly, "but you really need to get up and get back into your life. Do things, instead of sitting in here all the time. Summer and I are heading home now, but, please, if not for us, or for yourself, do it for him. Be strong, because he knows you can be. He wants you to be. Do it for him, (Y/N)."

       Beth leaned down and placed a very motherly kiss to the top of your head before she and Summer silently crept out of your apartment. From outside your window, you could hear faint Christmas music blasting from somebody's car as they drove by. You didn't feel very jolly as you sat and stewed in your own thoughts, wishing so badly for Rick to wake you up from this nightmare, to hold you and tell you you're going on another adventure together, because he needs somebody to distract the guards again.

       As the tears rolled to a stop, your breathing returning to normal again, you tried to sit up. "For him," your voice was strained, weak, "I'll do anything for him." You gave a weak sob before you calmed yourself, clutching the glitter. It sparkled, just like his eyes had once upon a time.

        As you stood, your stance wobbling and your legs weak, you gripped some clean clothes.

       "A new start. For him."

-x-

       Your new start was very shaky as you found yourself wobbling out of the bathroom, having fallen and sobbed pitifully yet again, remembering the time when Rick had come to your rescue. You'd managed to calm down and wrap yourself in a towel, staring into the mirror. Your eyes appeared more dull, sunken in, your cheeks almost hollow. That wouldn't be what Rick would want. No, he'd want you to smile, to build more, sleep less, and be happy.

       "For him," you chanted your new mantra, feeling new hope at the thought of Rick smiling down on you from some distant planet, proud of you for trying. No, you would never move on, but you would live your life as though he was merely on vacation.