Don't Come Back For Me

All Better.

      Today, you cheered as you ran around the house shirtless, the gauze finally gone. You cheered for the heavy weight, quite literally, being lifted away, for the itchiness being gone, and for the freedom that came with the removal of the heavy material. Rick had laughed loudly when you jumped up from your seat on his desk and ran around. March was settling in now, the snow still falling though not as frequently anymore.

       You were completely healed, with a 'badass scar to boot', as you'd put it. When you finally tired yourself out, you collapsed on the couch with a sigh. "No more bitching itches, no more tickles, no more scratching. Hot damn does it feel good." You ran a hand over your now completely bare stomach, laughing lightly. "I forgot what my stomach looked like," you laughed, staring down at it jokingly as Rick walked in. He disposed of the bandages and laughed from the kitchen. He emerged with two celebratory beers, handing one can to you and sipping from the other. You downed it happily, enjoying the cold sensation of the condensation dripping onto your stomach with a laugh.

        "Woo!" You cheered, "Freedom! I'm William Wallace! 'Freeeedom'!" You raised your arms above your head and cheered again. Rick was losing his shit, watching you make a fool of yourself. "Alright, kid, you're free," he said with a chuckle. "Settle down or the neighbors'll eugh think I just released something from captivity."

       "You totally did! Those things were, like, keeping me in prison or something, I dunno. I just didn't like it. My hero," you stared up, exaggeratedly dreamily, "saved me from the wretched bandage monster." You sat back on the couch with another lighthearted laugh, watching Rick roll his eyes and smile. Your stomach did flips as you hurriedly turned the tv on, watching Fairly Odd Parents. 

       "Aw, damn, Cosmo and Wanda ain't slick," you laughed. Rick stared at the tv for a moment, "You've gotta be shitting me. That's ridiculous."

       You put your hand over your chest and gaped at him, "Gasp! I'm hurt. Such words, such foul language." You raised a hand dramatically to your forehead, "I shan't make it. Carry on without me." You laid back and played dead for a minute before you were unable to suppress the laugh. While you sat up, you found Rick smiling stupidly down at you. Your heart did flips while you laughed, enjoying his smile.

        Rick reached into his pocket and pulled something out. "I almost forgot, kid. The Council of Rick's sent you something. I eugh guess they realized how stupid they were." Rick handed you a package. Upon opening it, you found a massive box of glitter. Rick stared down fearfully at it, obviously having not looked at it before handing it to you. You dug around in the glitter and found a note.

       (Y/N),
            For your bravery, the Council would like to issue our most sincere apology to you. Please accept the glitter, and don't bring it into the Council room, or we will place you in front of our best firing squad.

                                Council of Ricks
                                Citadel

       You laughed, staring incredulously at the note and the glitter. Those pompous bastards should've given you much more. Upon digging in the box, you found a pin. "The fuck is this?" You raised it up to Rick and he stared at it. "It's a badge, for the Citadel. Apparently eugh you've been given a position."

       "I'll wear it, but I sure as hell ain't doing no government work." You dug around in the box and made sure there was nothing more in the box before you glanced over to Rick.

       "Hey, come here, I don't know what this is." Rick walked closer, his focus more on the tv for the moment. Once he was close enough, you lifted the box and watched glitter rain down on him.

       His eyes widened and his shoulders slumped in defeat. "Why me?" He grumbled. He shook, sending glitter flying everywhere, before he ran his hands through his hair. "A young David Bowie, spotted in the wild. Careful, now, I hear glitter's really hard to get out. Avoid all contact and- EEK." You squeaked when Rick picked you up and rubbed glitter all over you. "See," he released you, "now it's all over you. Not just your clothes, but you. Now, I'm gonna go shower. And you can suffer. With your eugh glittery body. As I get this out. Because I'm the smartest man in the universe, who figured out how to beat glitter." Rick smiled triumphantly as he made his way up the stairs. 

       You huffed and sat on the couch, staring down at all the sparkles reflecting light on your torso. You continued watching tv until Rick returned, now sparkle free. "No touch," he muttered. He sat in Jerry's chair, making sure you didn't have any more glitter or tricks up your sleeve. "Meanie," you huffed, smiling slightly. 

       "OH, shit!" Rick stood up abruptly and pointed at you. "It's your birthday tomorrow!" Your eyes widened. You had actually forgotten.

       Just go with it, kiddos. I know not everybody's birthday is in early March.

        "So?" You questioned. "Nope, gotta go. I have..." he paused to double check, "Yep, just two birthdays to make up for. Alright, kid. Stay."

       "I'm not a dog," you whined. "I just act like one." Rick rolled his eyes and ran off with a laugh. 

       "Better be good!" You shouted. "Trust me, kid, I know what I'm eugh doing."