Beautiful Sin | TaeKai

|Chapter Thirty-Three|

Hey guys! Hope you're all doing well! It's winter over here so it keeps getting colder and colder D;
Anyway, I won't keep you from the chapter with my endless rambles! Enjoy!
~FM Mistress

There was this feeling that bloomed within him. Was it in his chest? Or his stomach? It didn't matter. Either way, it crippled him, almost bringing him to the ground.

It was pure pain. Guilt, jealousy, and anger created a potent potion in his body that threatened to have him pass out on this very floor. He gasped, taking in a quick breath of air and hoping that might help soothe the tension in his body.

It didn't.

If anything, that made it worse.

Taemin had felt this sensation before, but not to this scale. It was the feeling you get when you're caught in a lie, or when you've hurt the person you love the most. It's pure sickness, something even the worst of illnesses can't make you feel. Your brain goes quiet for a brief moment where you can't do anything but try not to cry, before it returns with a scream, blocking out any rational thought and telling you to run, run, run...

So he ran.

He heard Sunny call out after him, a mixture of shock and breathlessness in her voice, waking a fury within him he had never felt before. He had gone out there to tell Kai the truth. He didn't want to play this game anymore. He wanted his brother to run away with him. Just grab his hand and flee this place and never look back. They would have to live in crazy circumstances for the rest of their lives, but it wouldn't matter. What mattered was their love. It's not even like anything truly bad would happen.

He nearly ran into a wall - he wasn't looking where he was going and everything was becoming a blur as tears poured from his eyes. He knew it was at this moment his heart truly broke. It broke for what was, what is, and what could never be between him and his own brother. This wasn't a fairy tale with a happy ending. No one was going to wave a magic wand for him and clean up the mess. He would remain stuck in this for the rest of his life.

"Excuse me," a tentative voice asked. "Are you okay?"

Taemin sighed and banged his head against the wall gently. Could he not be left alone for a minute?

Pages rustled next to him and the voice came again. "Taemin? Is that you? Your members were worried about you. Do you want to come back to them now?"

He rolled his head against the wall until he was looking at the person speaking. It was the new manager that had been on stage. He was good looking for a man who was obviously in his early forties, the tell-tale silver streaks flicking against his hair in an artful way. He had been planning on using this man to make Kai jealous, but had decided against it for a brief moment. Now, he couldn't bother attempting to make Kai jealous anymore. What would be the point when he had someone to turn to while Taemin was still alone? He couldn't get the vision out of his head when Kai came within her - his face the same when they would...

Taemin frowned at the man. "I'm Taemin. Yes." His voice came out in a breathy whisper. He didn't care what anyone thought of that. He wasn't in the mood to make other people feel at ease around him.

"Are you okay?" The man reached out and grabbed Taemin's arm before he slumped. He hadn't realised he was going to do that. The manager easily moved Taemin into his arms, his muscles evident under the expensive shirt he was wearing. "Let's get you to medical, okay?"

"Who are you?" Taemin mumbled into the man's chest. He smelled nice too. It erased the smell of - No! He pushed his hands against his temples. No more thinking of what happened on that balcony! It's over!

"My name is Hanuel," the man replied. "I'm organising this entire event, though you're making it a tad hard." He laughed softly to let Taemin know he was just joking before lifting him into his arms and carrying him down the hallway.

This was such a strange feeling. Not the carrying part, but the feeling of mental exhaustion. It was like Taemin had reached the end of his limit. That taut rope he was always following had suddenly dropped and he had nothing to mentally hold onto anymore. It was like reaching the end of the rainbow just to find out there was nothing waiting for him.

"Must be hard," Taemin whispered. "So many different people. So many different lives."

The man looked down at him, obviously puzzled by his dramatic words. "So what's wrong? Are you sick? Should we cancel your group's performance?"

That was like ice down his shirt. Cancel everything for SHINee because he was being ridiculous? Never! As if spying his sudden clarity, Hanuel stopped walking and slowly helped him get back onto his feet.

"I'm fine," Taemin mumbled, brushing away his helping hands multiple times before feeling a bit better. "Seriously, I'll be fine."

He looked Taemin over several time, a frown on his face. He obviously wanted to argue about the 'fine' statement but also seemed like he was willing to give him a break and let it go. The latter finally won out and he shifted back, giving him his personal space again.

"If you need anything," the manager held out his business card with his number on it.

"What if I need dinner?" He asked. He had meant it as a weak joke, but he saw Hanuel's eyes flash with a soft flare of excitement.

He smiled. "If you need dinner, my door is always open to you."

Great. He seriously couldn't turn his own flirting off for a second. Taemin nearly beat his head against a wall again before mechanically turning around and heading to his dressing room where his team fussed around him and asked him where he had been. He gave vague answers and they went to rehearse after realising they would get nothing from him.

The card felt heavy in his pocket, but he kept it.