Beautiful Sin | TaeKai

|Chapter Thirty-Seven|

Hey guys! I know what you're thinking!! Another chapter? My oh my, where is Celeste and what have you replaced her with?
Hahaha I hope you guys enjoy!

And unlike you I remain faithful even if I'm not actually with that person.

Kai's words rang in his ears all the way home. After they had kissed, Taemin had gone home. The sadness had quickly changed to frustration. The hypocrisy! Stating he was more faithful when five seconds afterwards they were kissing one another after worrying if Sunny was pregnant with his child.

A darkness ran through Taemin and he pulled over onto the side of the road, the gravel crunching beneath his wheels as his breath came hard and fast. He wanted to expose Kai. Not to the world, but to his own hypocrisy. Show him that he wasn't some sort of angel or the victim in this situation. He was the one having unprotected sex and then acting guilty about it.

It was a new side to Kai he was seeing. He didn't love the man any less, but he was sick of this. Sick of loving someone from afar and wanting him so badly he couldn't shake the horrible feelings away.

With a small thrill, he wondered if there was something he could do when they went away to visit their parents. Maybe he could set Kai up to prove to him he's not the good little boy he always pretended to be.

Would it be too risky with his parents there? Most likely. Would he consider doing it anyway? Hell yes.

He looked up at the night sky, trying not to cry.

Why couldn't they be normal? Why did both of them have to have such bizarre feelings for one another? Why couldn't God just grant him a favour and make him stop this horrible feelings and wanting to do bad things to people he loved?

His father always taught him that God worked in mysterious ways, but this was getting too damn mysterious.

He slowly drove back to the apartments they were staying at before the concert, knowing his teammates wouldn't have missed him. They would either be sleeping or too busy to fully notice. It was the good thing about being part of a group – everyone made assumptions that you were busy and not off touching lips with your brother.

Not that... anyone would assume that normally.

He got back in and jangled his keys in his hands. Should he tell Minho about what had happened? That they were leaving? He bit his lip, wanting to sink his teeth in deeper and deeper until he couldn't feel anything anymore.

No, he wouldn't tell him. He'd let him know he needed to make a trip, but not who was going with him or where. It would be such a tiny trip and wouldn't interfere with anything. He sent a quick text to their manager to let him know which dates he would need off from work.

Finally, he took one of Minho's jackets from the floor and went to the couch in the middle of the room that separated all of their bedrooms. What would happen if he let Minho go and stayed with Kai? A small burst of pain surprised him. It centred in his heart and bloomed outwards.

Clutching his chest, he sat on the couch in a state of shock. He truly had feelings for Minho? He should have been happy – jumping for joy even – but thinking about Kai leaving him left an even worse agony he could barely tolerate.

"Taemin?"

Onew was at his door, rubbing his eyes.

"Go to sleep," Taemin murmured. "Sorry for waking you."

Instead of leaving, Onew padded over to the couch with bare feet. He had warm pyjamas on and crazy bed head. "What's wrong? And before you say nothing, I can tell because you get that little furrow between your brows when you're worried."

He pressed a finger to the centre of Taemin's forehead and tried to smooth away the worried wrinkles.

"Hyung," Taemin shook his head. "I couldn't tell you if I wanted to. It's absolutely insane."

Onew smiled gently. "I've seen the worst of the worst around here. I'm the leader and everyone tells me their problems. There's nothing you could tell me that would make me think less of you."

Taemin scoffed. He would definitely think less of him because of all of his secrets, but he'd start small. "What if I said I wanted to hurt someone I loved? Set them up to prove they're not as perfect as they think?"

The older man crinkled his brow as he thought about it. "It's not uncommon for people to do that. Even I've had my moments when I've wanted to wake people up from their little bubble. But you need to ask yourself, what do you want to get out of it?"

They both blinked silently at each other for a moment.

"I want him to see what I see. Feel what I feel when he says things to me," Taemin finally admitted. "I want him to understand my point of view."

"So, you're doing it for your own gain?"

Taemin frowned. "Well, yes and no. Yes, I want him to see things from my end which could be seen as my own gain, but I want him to understand it and become less of a brat."

"You believe he would benefit from it?"

Taemin nodded quietly.

"Then do it," Onew shrugged. "Just make sure that the way you reveal it isn't too bad. You don't want someone you love to hate you forever. You can't take back something like this. And make sure what they're seeing is honest. Making them hate themselves is not the way to go about anything."

"Fair point," Taemin nodded. "Do you have any ideas?"

Onew laughed and shook his head. "I don't even know who it is or what kind of relationship you hold. I couldn't possibly come up with an idea. But... why not just confront him? Tell him?"

"No, that would never work."

"Maybe have other people help you subtly. If other people who know him are around, get them to back you up on his flaws. Granted, that's kind of ganging up on him which I don't approve of, but maybe a few more voices of reason might get through to him?"

"You're terrible at planning!" Taemin pushed him off the couch. "Go to bed!"

Onew's laugh flooded the room and Taemin smiled. He couldn't ask for a better friend than Onew. But what he really needed now, was a friend who could come up with a wicked strategy.