The Darkness Inside

Ch:33

Chris pinched back the tears that were forming in his eyes. I opened the apartment door so we both stepped in. I shut the door after Chris walked in. As I locked the door he put his bag on the floor next to the bed. I looked at him as he sat on the bed.

He looked at me then he looked away. I sat down next to him then I asked "whats wrong Chris, please tell me". He wrapped his arm around my waist then he scooted closer to me. He said "when I found out what happened to you I felt like I was doing to die. I cried myself to sleep at night, but I wouldnt be asleep for long. I would have these terrible nightmares about you".

I grabbed onto his free hand with my hand. He continued as he said "the dreams were horrible. So I never went to sleep because I didnt want to have the horrible nightmares. I thought you were going to die. I was sick to my stomach the whole time. I just wanted to be with you, but I had no idea where you were. It scared me to death. I thought I was going to lose you Shelby". He repeated that last sentence over and over as he cried more.

My heart broke for him. He went through hell worrying about me. I took my hand off of his. I moved it up to his cheek. With his cheek cupped in my hand I said "babe, it's ok, theres no need to be afraid anymore. I'm here and I promise that you wont lose me. I am a fighter. I will fight to stay with you even if I am dying. Chris, while I was bleeding out you were on my mind. I thought of you the whole time, and that made me feel better".

He smiled a tiny bit. I said "Chris, I love you and I will never leave you. You are too important to me. I could never leave you". He said "I love you too Shelby, but that scared me and I'm afraid of it happening again, because it already happened once before". I asked "what do you mean once before"? He said "I lost my mom the same way that I almost lost you".

I asked "what happened to her"? Chris looked at the ground as he said "I was about 8 when I lost her. She was walking home after her shift at a department store. She always worked nights so she always got off at around 11 at night. As she walked home somebody mugged her. They stabbed her and they took her purse. They left her to die on the sidewalk".

He cried harder, but he finished telling me the story. "She got stabbed in the stomach too. She bled out and died. I remember that night. I wanted to wait for her to get home because I wanted her to put me to sleep, not the babysitter. I waited and waited, but she never showed up. Instead a cop car pulled up and came to the door. The cop told the babysitter everything that happened and I over heard it. Thats when I knew that my mom was never going to come home again".

By the time he finished the story he had me in tears. He was bent over crying into his hands. I lifted him up then I  wrapped my arms tightly around his neck. He wrapped his arms around my waist tighly. He said "I was so afraid when I heard that it happened to you". I said "I wont let it happen again, I promise".

Chris cried into my neck. My neck was soaked from his tears, but I didnt care. I lifted his head up then I looked directly into his eyes. I said "Chris, I dont want you to be afraid. I will never leave you suddenly. Your mom loves you and so do I. I was lucky to survive and I believe that you kept me alive". Chris asked "I wasnt ever there, how did I keep you alive"? I said "because I thought about you. I told myself that I needed to hang on so I could be with you. I didnt want to leave you. I couldnt leave you. I held on because of you Chris...you saved me".

 Before I could say anything else he had his hands cupping my cheeks and him lips pressed to mine. I felt his damp cheeks press against mine. I ran my hand through his hair as I kissed him back. Our lips seperated. He said "Shelby, I love you to death, I dont know what I would do without you". I smiled because I knew that he loved me. He was the guy that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. He is my true mate, even if he isnt a wolf.