The King's Storm [Bellamy Blake]

21: The Other Side

I looked to Bellamy and he shook his head, the knowledge troubling him. "I can't believe they did that to you" He ran a hand over his mouth and blinked rapidly.

"Stranger things have happened. Bellamy, you can't talk about this in the camp. I can't have people knowing..." He nodded and sat up.

"But after all that... after losing him... after the floating? Did you feel safer, were you okay?" I bit into my lip and then shook my head.

"I may have been physically safer, and my body recovered quickly due to my good health. But Bellamy, I needed you, and I was forbidden from ever speaking to you again. They didn't just punish you for Octavia. They knew that you would have told me, it was as much my punishment as yours. Jaha permitted me to see you from time to time, but I had to be invisible, if I were seen I would never be able to see you again"

"After all that, why would you want to see me? I failed you as a friend, a boyfriend..." He hung his head and put it in his hands.

"because I still loved you after everything, you were the only truly good thing the ark gave me. Our relationship was calculated yes, but we were never forced. They directed me to you, and then left us. Jaha was so proud when I ran to his after you told me you loved me. He really liked you, and I think... in honesty, he knew you wouldn't shoot to kill, and he knew you were doing it to protect someone. Jaha knew you Bellamy. Because he knew me"

"Jaha didn't know me, and he didn't believe in me. He just wanted you to be happy, even if it was with a dumbass like me" Bellamy spat, I rolled my eyes and sat up. Glaring at him.

"See this is our problem Bellamy. We don't communicate well. I tell you something and you doubt me, you don't listen to me. How are we supposed to be a team when all you have is self-hatred and I love you?" He stared at me and I rolled my eyes. "don't think that much of it. I will always love you, but that can't control me anymore. I can't think with my feelings towards you, because I will always put you in front of all those people there. I would sacrifice any one of them for you and for Tavy"

"Jasper? Murphy?" He raised an eyebrow and I sighed, "you care for them too. You wouldn't sacrifice everyone"

"I would though, that's the sick part. I had feelings for Murphy, but the moment he threatened you or Tavy... I wouldn't hesitate to shoot. Jasper too" I looked down ashamed. "That doesn't mean I wouldn't protect either of them if I felt it necessary"

"The hanging..." Bellamy whispered, "You knew John was innocent?"

"I believed in him, I saw the fear and confusion in his face. He didn't do it, and he begged me to believe him, but I already knew. I could tell who it was when Charlotte started holding onto the only one that could protect her when they were trying to kill the person who killed Wells. I wanted to protect her as much as you did. But I already knew I would cut that rope if you tried. But I wanted to see if you would ruin everything we had just for the power" He looked out to the water and sighed in defeat.

"I liked him, he was the one I trusted most... even if you only saw us arguing" Bellamy muttered, "I knew he cared so much about you, and that you were becoming attached. I wanted to try to push Murphy to his limits to see if he stood by you, because he was right when we argued. I was pissed that you were moving on with someone who could protect you, who could show you complete trust and believe in you"

"Murphy and I were never that serious, sure we kissed and whatnot. But we had never even spoke about the relationship and where we were going with it" Bellamy smiled weakly and nodded. "He would never have hurt Clarke. Especially not with me there. John wanted to be the furthest thing from you as possible, which meant he would never hurt other people" Bellamy shook his head.