The King's Storm [Bellamy Blake]

32: A Sister's Love

John and I got back to his tent and I threw off my jacket before kicking over the stack of weapons I had built, John stood in the doorway, watching as I let out my anger, before my legs finally gave out on me and I crumpled to the floor. The guilt and sadness getting too much for me, I curled up into a ball, trying to hold myself together as the sadness washed over me, I couldn't hold back what I had fought so hard to keep from happening.

I felt John's arms wrap around me, pulling me into his lap, he shushed me quietly and I felt his hand rubbing up and down my back, as he peppered kisses all over the top of my head. I lost focus on his hands through when memories of that day flashed back, the pain ripping through my stomach, and all the blood. The feeling that it wasn't just my child in pain, but that I was dying and so would my baby. I remember waking to see Dr Griffin in her overalls, me being held down by many people as I looked around and saw all the surgical tools.

"Dr Griffin?" I asked my voice hoarse and weak, I felt the grip on me tighten as I cried, looking around myself.

"No, Storm, she isn't here" I heard a faint voice reply, before I moved slightly, feeling the cold hard hospital bed below me. Dr Griffin looked to me, sadness in her face. 'so young' she muttered before pulling something out of sight. 'Storm? Do you know where you are?' I looked around, tears in my face as the pain overcomes me and I finally see what she had moved, my child, he lie limp on another table as Abby moved closer to me, her hand caressing my cheek. 'Storm, I'm sorry. He was too weak to live... he would never have made it even if he was born' she explained and the tears began to fall heavier. Two men wheeled my son out of the room before I could even touch him.

"Please, let me see my son" I begged, to no reply. I closed my eyes, the tears falling silently. Suddenly it was couple of weeks ahead of the day I lost my son, Octavia Blake had been discovered and Bellamy lost his position as a guardsman. I was back in the training room, kicking the punching bag until it swung into the wall with a loud bang, before splitting on one side. I sighed and sat down, staring blankly at the wall.

'Storm?' Abby asked, I turned to see her pained expression and she placed her hand on my back, rubbing gently. I flinched away from the touch.

"Don't touch me!" I shouted, though it was weak and so came out barely even audible.

'Storm, you can't just pretend everything is okay and normal... you lost a baby' she whispered and I turned away, refusing to cry in front of Abby for something like this.

"Storm?" I heard a voice shout, before I was shaken roughly, my eyes opening to see Bellamy above me, Octavia cradling me in her lap. I sobbed again and she pulled me into her chest, I blocked him from my vision and suddenly I felt a large hand splay across my back.

"Storm, sweetheart... what can I do?" John asked, his voice breaking... "Please tell me" he begged and I sighed, wiping my tears before removing myself from Octavia, seeing a very confused and concerned Bellamy while his sister just looked angry and sad at the same time. John looked terrified. I shuffled closer to him and he pulled me into his lap.

"We'll go, and leave you to get some peace... just call me if you need anything" Octavia muttered, her eyes never leaving mine.

"Tavy..." I whispered and she nodded, crouching in front of me. "don't leave me alone... please" She shook her head, sitting opposite John, her hand returning to my back. I saw Bellamy leave without another word before murmurs were heard outside the tent. "John?" I asked, he pulled himself back and looked at me weakly. "I want to stay with Octavia tonight... I need her" I whispered, John nodded and lifted me into the bed, he pressed a kiss to my forehead and smiled weakly.

"I'll stay on the dropship, save you facing them" he motioned to the outside of the tent, I nodded and Octavia smiled to John before climbing in beside me, she laid flat as I curled up into her chest.

"Oh Lib, why didn't you ever tell me?" she asked and I sobbed once again.

"I never told anyone but Jaha, Bellamy only found out a few weeks ago... because he promised to start over, clean slate and honest" I whispered, broken. Octavia ran her fingers through my hair and she sighed.

"My brother's an idiot. He was drunk, I'll give him that he would never say what he did when sober... but even so, it doesn't mean it was right" I nodded and bit back my sobs.

"Even after all this, I still love him Tavy. I really like John, and I think I am falling in love with him, but I can't stop how I feel about Bellamy, even when he does this to me..." She sighed and squeezed me as tight as she could.

"I know, and believe it or not he does love you, he's just a fucking idiot and takes out his own pain on you. He can't stand seeing you with Murphy, to see you happy. He locks himself away, to try to stop himself from hurting you, but he just gets worse each time, because he pushes you further away and closer to John" I tried to calm my breathing as Tavy wrapped her arms around my body loosely. "You've both changed so much since the ark... you've both been hurt more than you could realise. You need to rediscover yourselves before either of you would even remotely be able to reform a relationship" Octavia whispered, I nodded and closed my eyes.

"Promise me you won't leave, and you'll make him go if he turns up again" She nodded and resumed stroking my hair.

"He was the one to bring you round, you know?" I opened my eyes and looked up, confused. "When you were in the middle of that breakdown, I've never seen anything so scary, John and I couldn't bring you back to reality. I tried talking to you, making sure you knew it wasn't real, John too, he even shook you. Bellamy must have heard us because he stormed in, and the moment he saw you, he cried out your name and that's it... you came back" I rolled my eyes and laid back in my original place. "You will always be each other's weakness Lib, but you will also never find someone who cares more about you... maybe me" she laughed, and I let out a weak chuckle.

"You're so like him its scary" I muttered and she nodded.

"And yet you still love me" she teased and I laughed.

"Arguable" I muttered, Tavy laughed and we both settled into a comfortable silence, as the night and tiredness took over us. Surprisingly, following the high and low day I had been through, I slept through the night, undisturbed and deeply. Finally replenishing all the energy I had lost through all the stress.