The King's Storm [Bellamy Blake]

30: Exhausting in all Aspects

"Bellamy?" I asked quietly, looking around the now darkened room, the only light coming from where the sheets or whatever he used to cover the windows had fallen slightly.

"What?" He grumbled, I turned to the direction of the voice but couldn't see him.

"I just spoke to Jas..." I trailed off, "he told me what you did, why you aren't sleeping" I muttered gently, slowly walking towards where I had heard him. "Bellamy, it doesn't matter okay? It was probably just a bad joke from one of the guys in the camp. No-one got hurt" I eased.

"You could have Lib!" He burst out, I stopped in my tracks. "someone could have really hurt you, and you would have died thinking I hated you, and hating me" his voice broke and I sighed, finally getting close enough, I slid down the wall and felt my feet hit a part of him gently. I brought my knees up and hugged them. "It scared me, just the thought of it"

"Bell, I didn't get hurt, please don't dwell on what could have happened... it didn't and down here that's a miracle" He sniffled slightly and I reached out, touching him gently, rubbing my thumb across what I assumed was his arm.

"Maybe not there..." he chuckled and I quickly drew my hand back, my cheeks flushing red. "It was only my thigh, don't get too worked up" he added, and I could hear his smirk in the tone.

"We better now?" I asked gently, his hand gripped onto my knee which made me smile softly.

"No, but I'm not going to kill anyone right this moment. That's progress" I laughed quietly and leant my head back, hitting the wall with a loud thump.

"ouch" I muttered, making Bellamy chuckle.

"Ever the clumsy" he whispered, I nodded and closed my eyes, the darkness never changing. "I need to find who did it Lib, you know I won't stop until I do" I sighed, knowing he was right. When bellamy wanted something, he would get it, even if it took years, he was patient. Even though he seemed to impulsive.

"I know, but you need to sleep too. Don't blame the nightmares either, because we both know you've had them for years. You can stop them" I scolded and he sighed, squeezing my knee once again.

"I never told you how I did that, did I?" he asked and I hummed, no. He didn't. "I used to think about you before I went to sleep, on the ark I would hug my pillow pretending it was you. Even when we came to earth, the days I didn't get to share a bed with you I was thinking about you, and how some nights you were a few feet away sleeping peacefully" I felt a smile form on my face, feeling quite honoured that to for the strong leader to sleep properly he used to think about me.

"Why do you do this Bellamy?" I asked quietly, hoping he wouldn't have heard it instantly.

"I don't know Lib, I try not to, the last thing I ever want to do is hurt you" he started and I shook my head, my hand laying on top of his, thumb moving lightly.

"Not that, I stopped that. I can't afford to keep hurting because of you, I mean why do you do this to yourself? You need to let go, it's better for both of us if we do. All we do is go in a cycle, you would get my hopes us, hurt me and we'd argue, putting the camp at risk. If we stop the feelings then we stop the cycle" I heard him sigh, his hold on my knee tightening.

"I don't want to stop feeling" he whispered. "I promised to you, I would fight until you chose one. You chose John, and I'll respect that, even if I don't like it. You care about him more than me. I will put my feelings aside to allow for us to work together. But I will not stop caring" he punctuated the last sentence.

"I don't care about John more than you, Bellamy before this all... I wouldn't have batted an eye to John, but you hurt me and he has been there every time to pick up the pieces and support me, don't you think he deserves a chance, since all he's ever done is try to make me happy?" I looked down, thinking about John and how hard he fought to keep me smiling every time Bellamy hurt me.