A Second Chance

Choose to be happy

December 18th.

"So?"

"Negative." Jessica answers walking past him and into the kitchen.

Danny takes a deep breath and says, "That's okay."

Jessica starts on breakfast and doesn't say a word.

"Baby, it-"

"Can you get Grayson ready for me, please?  He's staying with Jane today and I'm already running late."

"... Sure."

Danny got Grayson ready, then grabbed some breakfast before heading to work.

"Boy's, Gray's staying with grandma Jane today while I'm at work, I don't know what you all are planning, but try and stay out of trouble, please."

"Yes, ma'am."

When she got to Jane's, she noticed there was something on Jessica's mind.

"Are you okay, honey?"

"Yeah.. I just.. I'm running late, and I'm exhausted." Jessica rubs her eyes and chuckles.

"If you need to talk, I'm always here, sweetie.  You're like a daughter to me, you know that."

Jessica looks down and nods.
"I know."

Jane touches her hand and Jessica starts crying.

"Oh honey!" Jane wraps her arms around Jessica's body.

Jessica holds her tight and sobs.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"Danny and I have been trying for a baby for months, and nothing's happened.  I'm worried that somethings wrong with me.  Maybe I'm too old."

"Jessie, I don't think that's it.  Sometimes creating a life takes a while.  I know it can be difficult and you may become impatient, but it'll happen."

"The doctor told me not to stress, but that's all I do is  stress.  It's my fault.  It was my fault we lost our first  baby, and now it's my fault that we can't get pregnant."

"Jessica!  None of this is your fault!"

"I'm scared my cancer is gonna come back."

"Why would you say that?"

"Because I have a cyst on my ovary.  It's just a cyst, but I'm so terrified that it'll come back and my chances of having a baby will be gone."

"Oh sweet pea.."

"I'm sorry I'm talking to you about this, I just don't want Danny to see me break down anymore.  We just got married and I don't want him to think I'm unhappy... and I can't talk to my mom, because I don't want her worrying about me."

When Jessica started talking about her mother she started sobbing.
Jane held her close and rubbed her back.

"I just want things to be okay.  I'm so tired of feeling this way.  I try so hard to be happy, but there's always something that will bring me down."

"Honey, you choose your destiny.  You choose your happiness.  Ignore those bad thoughts you have and choose to be happy.  I know it's hard, but trust me you'll regret it if you don't.  Your boys will be leaving for college sooner than you think and then that time will be gone.  It was spent being miserable.  Choose to be happy and create beautiful memories.. Or let this stress consume you and forever regret it."

Jessica sniffles and looks into Jane's eyes.

"You're right.  Jane, the thing I'm worried about is losing my babies.  Since I was fifteen my life has been about my children.  The house has always been filled with screaming, crying, yelling.. Laughing.. The sound of little feet running around and the sound of backpacks being thrown to the ground after a long day of school.  I know nothing else.  So now that I know it's getting closer to just one child.. I feel this emptiness I've never felt before.  I love Grayson, and I don't want him to be alone.  My boys always had a playmate and that's the last thing I want is for him to grow up like an only child."

"Sweetheart, whatever is God's will, will happen.  Grayson is loved by so many people and he'll never be lonely.  I know it's tough for you to go from so much craziness to having what feels like an empty house.. But look who you share that house with.  Your baby boy and your new husband.  You love them both so dearly, this is a chance to create new memories as a family together."

Tears slowly fall down Jessica's cheeks and Jane wipes them with her thumbs before holding her face in her hands.
Jessica nods and smiles softly.

"Thank you for talking to me, Jane.  I love you."

"I love you too, baby girl." Jane smiles and kisses Jessica's forehead.

**

That evening after work Danny made dinner for everyone.  After they ate she and Danny went to their room.

"Honey, can I talk to you for a second?" She asks.

"Sure!  What's up?"

"I think we should hold off on trying for a baby.. At least for a little while."

"Why?"

"Because my mind just isn't in the right state for pregnancy, or negative tests.
I'm not saying to go back to condoms, but maybe just go back to having sex for fun."

"You don't have fun when we try for a baby?"

Jessica chuckles and says, "Yes I do!  You know what I mean.. Right now I feel like it's apart of our jobs.  Come home, eat dinner, try for a baby, go to bed.  I just want to try and clear my head.. Have sex whenever I feel like it and just because I want to have sex, not for a purpose.  If it happens, it happens.  I just can't take the stress of feeling like a failure every month.  Let's just stop and relax for a while.  Let's enjoy being a newly married couple, and enjoy our boys before the school years ends and they're out of the house."

"I agree.  That makes perfect sense."

"Are you sure?  I don't want you to feel like I'm forcing you to do anything, OR not do anything."

"No, you're not forcing me to do anything.  I love you and I think what you're saying makes sense."

"Thank you, Danny." Jessica smiles softly.

Danny wraps his arms around her and kisses the top of her head.

"Wanna have some fun?" He mumbles into her.

*Giggles* "Oohhh!  Don't mind if I do, Mr. Huston!"