Before it ends

Back to when it all began....

The thudding of my door halted me out of my sleep.

"Get up ding-dong" Emily's angry voice shouted at me from the hallway.

"OKAY, whatever chill" I changed into my jeans and checkered shirt. I put on the black converses mum got me and left for school.

"Hey stop right there." mum marched up to me with her hand on her hips "An orange and water," she handed me both "and I want you to eat them do you hear me, you can't leave this house without having something to eat in the morning." I nodded and told her I'll eat it on the way, she ruffled my hair and kissed me on the forehead. Trying to fix it back I turned around and left. The cold air surprised me dancing on the back of my pale neck. It's icy presence making each inhale as sharp as shattered glass. Maybe a denim jacket wasn't perfect for this weather.

I hopped on the first bus I saw and rode it to outside school. I was surprised to see her outside the gate, Hayley was dressed in black jeans, a short sleeve black top, blue and black shoes, a puffer jacket and a gold heart necklace with the name GRACE. She lent on the metal bars her curves clear against the straight gate fence.

"Hi" she said with the same glow I saw in class. "I would say your name but-"

 "Ryan, its Ryan." she nodded and smiled to herself.

"What?" I asked.

"It's just I was expecting something big. You know a cool name like Kye or Kieran or-"

"Okay but my dad's named Kieran so coolness runs in my blood" I smiled, she did too. Then she stopped, we'd been walking and she just stopped, I looked at her confused.

"This is me." She sighed pointing at the science door. I stared at her for a while, looking into her eyes, they were green and gold all at the same time. She looked down. I'd been staring too long.

"Oh yeah of course" I said. "See you around?" I asked. She nodded and then began to turn around. I walked to my class alone when someone grabbed my arm and pulled me into the changing room. Emily stood in front of me, she wore her 'we run the world' badge and ripped blue jeans. Everything about her screamed 'the 13th Grade" I don't even know why school had a 13th Grade, we might as well become a home for the elderly. I smirked, I'm funny.

"Listen." she poked me on the shoulder.

"Oww." I moaned

"I'm not joking around, listen." I then realised her face was red and she looked at me with such pity. Pity that I'd only seen once before in my life.

"He's back isn't he?" I asked not really wanting to hear her answer.

"I heard mum on the phone to him, all I know is he knows where we are. He just wants to make amends Ry why won't you let him?" I stared at my sister like she was mad. Why would she ask me that, didn't she know the answer?

"Why won't I let him?" I repeated the question, my voice but a whisper now. "Because he's a horrible person and if he does come back I need you to have my back"

"Always" she put her hand on my shoulder "but- "I shrugged her off and stormed away. I didn't need to hear anything else I just wanted to escape. 

The class dragged but I didn't mind I didn't want to see anyone.

When the lesson finally came to a halt I reluctantly packed up my books and headed to the bathroom. It was was empty, I suppose everyone had headed to the lunch hall. I looked into the mirror trying to perfect my fake smile. I studied the look of my face. I realised things that I normally brush aside: like the tiny freckles placed under my eyebrows; the clear dimple that slept on my cheeks and a five centimetre scar on my lip. A permanent souvenir from my old life, I would of preferred a key chain.

'Okay, time to smile' I told myself.

I left the bathroom and walked down the corridor. Teachers shoes echoed, bouncing off wall after wall.

"Ryan" a voice called after me.

"I don't want to talk to you." Why was Emily still bothering me, you'd think she'd know me well enough to give me some time.

"You waited for me remember, you were the one who wanted to eat lunch together, or did I read too much into "see you around." Wait! that wasn't my sister- eat with her- what was she talking about?

"Fine" the voice drifted off -Hayley. I span round after her.

"Sorry, I thought you were my sister." I wheezed. She considered what I said and shrugged, not sure if she believed me.

"Wanna go somewhere to chill? I'm not hungry. Plus I kinda need to hide from my ex." I looked at her, just looked. She must have taken this as a stare for elaboration. "Look I don't want to talk about it okay. Jake is a dick and I was hoping to hang out with someone not so dicky."

"Sure" I agreed. Somehow Hayley made me forget about everything. The quick greeting we'd just had made me focus on nothing but her. Okay it was only 5 seconds but it was definitely an improvement. We walked together over to the field, I led the way to the wood shed.

"The wood shed? Isn't that a make out spot?" Hayley looked confused. I had forgotten that's what people called it.

"Don't worry I'm not trying to jump you." I laughed and held out my hand. After a couple seconds to think she took it and we headed in. The electric heater was on so the rooms warmth only made us want to stay. Hayley spread out on the left bench. I sat opposite her.

"So the hair?" I asked

She sprang up "Oh is there something in it."  she moaned, tying up the waves that crashed over her shoulders.

"No" I said "It's blue. Don't get me wrong I love originality but-"

"I was wondering when you were gonna ask. I might as well tell you. Everyone knows."

"What?"

"My sister" she looked down the shine that radiated around her faded.

"What?" I sat next to her.

"My sister, about a year ago had a problem." she took a deep breath.

"What problem, is she alright?"

"Yes-yes she's alright but she has cancer, it's extremely rare. Hereditary actually." She must have been able to sense my worry because she shot me a supportive smile. " I don't have it, don't worry. It skipped me, just like it skipped my aunt. We thought it was gone but it just keeps popping back up again." there was a slight waver in her voice " I don't know all the details, my sister won't tell me and my mum doesn't want to distract me. They all want to try and tell me it's okay. If you ask me they're all quite selfish, all they're doing is making it harder for me, for when she leaves." I saw a tear stream down her face, then she looked up and then down, I followed her gaze and saw my hand wrapped in hers. She wiped her face and smiled. "My sisters all right now, I mean a few problems now and then. But things are getting better, the doctors are saying things look positive. You can never be sure with theses things, you know?" I nodded, but I didn't know. I didn't know half of what she was going through, and honestly, I never wanted to. "I died my hair blue to cheer her up- to make her smile, to represent everything she'd been through, that there will always be life and colour and me in her life. I'd do anything for her."

"Why are you telling me this?" The question came out before I realised how it sounded.

"I don't know" she fixed herself and jumped up.

"I didn't mean it like that, I know I asked. I just- we just met and-"

"I know" she interrupted "I just don't want to stay sad to long, or I'll never feel better." She smiles darkly. "Plus it's common knowledge Ryan, better you hear the truth then some twisted rumour."

I stood up, not knowing what to do I wrapped my arms around her and smiled. The smile said 'I'm sorry, I want to be here for you, let's be friends' and even with no words at all ... she knew.