Before it ends

You don't make it easy...

Right across from me. Hayley sat right across from me and didn't say a word. She was mad, I was mad. She was stubborn, I was worse.

"Could you pass me the ketchup Lea?" Hayley made a point of clearly not looking at me. The ketchup lay two centimetres away from my hand.
I picked it up and dolloped some on to my food. I hate ketchup.

"Hayley wants the sauce." Lea says in a bored tone

"Who? Sorry I don't think I know who you're talking about." Lea huffed and rolled her eyes. I placed the ketchup next to me again.

"God without my sister here you guys are suffocating. I'm leaving." She looked at both of us. "Fix this." She leaves the table with one last glare. Awkward isn't even the word.

"Ryan," Hayley's the first to speak "I'm sorry. There I said it. I hate arguing. I love you, moron." I bring my gaze away from my tray and look up to the girl I know I can't stay mad at. I look at how beautiful she is. I look at how sincere she looks. I look at the girl I know better than anyone else.
"Hey Ryan." My eyes flicker to whoever is walking past our table.

"Hi Hayley." Jake winks at my girlfriend. His arm is draped around Vee, hanging extremely close to her chest. To an outsider it looks like they're definitely a couple. To me though, it's clear they're even more dysfunctional together. Vee's eyes trace my every movement and Jake looks like he's ready to eat my girlfriend.
Bloody assho-
"So still hungover, I know I am?" Vee is talking to Hayley but her eyes don't leave mine.
"Yeah, well you sure as hell were drunk last night." Jake was at the party? I clench my jaw. He turns to me nonchalantly. "I think you should thank me Ryan."

"Yeah and why's that?" I ask.

"If it wasn't for me your girl wouldn't have anywhere to sleep. I let her crash at mine:"

"What?" My eyes flickered to Hayley's. She wore more guilt than I'd ever seen before. I knew in that moment that no matter how much of a dickhead Jake was, he was telling the truth. There was so much pleading in her eyes, and something more. Something dangerous. She was scared.

"Oh didn't your girl tell you?" Vee fakes surprised.

"She found her way into my bedroom. Not that it'd be hard, she used to spend a lot of time in there."

"Hayley must have told you." Vee began "At the party we got trashed and needed a ride. Guess who she had on speed dial. You should've seen her -"

"Nothing happened Ry, I promise." I could here her voice but I couldn't look at her. My eyes were stuck to Jakes fake smile.

"Yeah Ry, nothing happened." I can't help myself. I hate him. My fists are clenched and if I grind my teeth any harder they'll fall out. I hate him. He's still got his hand around Vee but the look he's sending my girlfriend would make anyone think he had both of them. I hate him. I hate him because after everything, she chose him. She was drunk and needed a ride, so she called him. Not me. I'd always be there. She chose him. I love her. She chose him. She loves me. She chose him. I'm such an idiot.
Before I get to think anything through my hands are grabbing Jakes neck and pushing him away from Vee. He punched me in the stomach. Hard. I wince and push him into a stack of trays. He falls down and I kick him in the stomach. I watch his whole body shrivel in pain, before his legs sweep under mine and we're both on the ground. I'm punching him now, as hard as I can. Square in the jaw. He punches too. He gets me right in the eye and I'm pretty sure he breaks my nose. I don't stop though. Crowding teenagers are cheering us on.
"Fight, fight, fight." I manage to pick up Hayley's voice. She sounds desperate. She's telling me to stop. She's shouting, begging- but that's not enough. It's not enough.
"Pull them apart." I hear Dans voice now, and then a pair of hands pull me by my forearms. Soon me and Jake are pealed away. He looks exactly how I feel. Like shit.
His knuckles are bust, his left eye swollen and right cheek cut. I can see a bruise forming on his jaw already, blood is coming from his nose and I notice his index finger hanging limp. The idiot broke his finger punching me.
"Ryan. We need to go." My head was in a type of haze. Exactly like the time I met Emily's 'friend.' I could see people staring at me in shock, like no one had really recognised who I was until now.
"We need to go." Dan repeats again. This time I nod and follow him through the corridors, to the exit.
"Wait. Ryan." I turn around. Hayley stands there with tears steaming down her cheeks.
"Are you okay?" The question seems genuine. And there is a part of me that wants to say yes, a part of me that's sick of drama. A part that wants to wrap her in my arms and feel the tingles of her touch; that wants to forget how fast things went downhill for us. That part is fighting. It fights so hard to overcome the anger, and I try to let it- but it looses .
"Why'd you call him Hayley?"
"I don't know Ryan." She shakes her head. "I guess habit."
"Habit?" I'm shouting at her now. "Do you know how that makes me fucking feel Hayley? Habit. After everything I've told you, after everything shared, he's who you go to. He's your fucking habit." She flinches.
"Ryan please calm down." I can see how hesitant she is when she first  makes the decision to step forward. Her hand is placed on my cheek. The tingles are there, like usual, and I'm sure if I wasn't completely fighting  it'd give me energy, it normally does. I watch her as she watches me. My hand goes to do the same as hers. It's obvious that somethings happened, I haven't stoped loving her but in one second something changed. So I did what I had to, what I wasn't sure I'd get to do for a long while. I kissed her. I felt everything, I felt the guilt, the anger, the pain, the fear, the love. I felt all the things I longed for and all the things I pushed away. It was the most overwhelming feeling, of being so utterly in love with someone that trying to walk away was physically painful.
She pulled back and I could see her eyes trying to make sense of the kiss.
"I love you Hayley, " she smiles faintly "but you don't make it easy." With that I walk back to the parking lot. Dan is leaning against his truck.
"You ready to go before you get caught?"
"Yep." I nod and hop in. With every meter the wheels move me away from school, my chest aches. It aches because I'm leaving her behind like that, because this all feels like a tipping point for us. The one point that every relationship goes through- but not every relationship survives.