Before it ends

Spending the time with you...

I spent the day with Hayley Rhys. We watched her favourite film: Easy A. Went to visit her favourite coffee shop again.
Snuck her back in to my house after her 'last period.'
Played a small game of truth or dare- turns out Hayley's a wimp.
Waited till my mum left for a meeting before convincing my sister she didn't see us.
Baked a cake - tried.
Ate the cake- nearly vomited.
Played knock down ginger on the Carmichaels- it was hilarious.
Ordered pizza: half meat feast half Hawaiian- apparently the 'best flavours in the world.'
Took my sisters ice cream- didn't tell Hayley it was hers.
Paid my sister back for the ice cream- apparently girls take that stuff really seriously.
Had a popcorn fight.
Hoovered.
Watched a horror movie.
Watched Hayley fall asleep on my chest- the highlight.
Her hair was up in a messy bun and her eyelashes fluttered slightly and every so often her head would nuzzle into the crook of my neck. Her leg was spread across mine and her arms around my waist. I smiled, I could imagine the shade of red her cheeks would turn if she woke up like this.

H where are you?
                          -Mum

Hayley's phone buzzed under my right arm.

Hi this is Hayley's friend.. she fell asleep at mine. Should I wake her?

The reply came almost a second later.

No it's alright Ryan.

How did you know?
I typed back

Your the only friend she ever talks about. Some friend you must be.

I read the text again, how should I respond. I'm guessing she hasn't told her mum about us.

Don't worry. Your talking to the cool parent. If I were her Dad you'd be dead.

I wasn't sure how to reply to that either.

Goodnight Ryan. Tell Hayley to call me in the morning.

Will do Mrs Rhys. Goodnight.

I put down her phone and turned off the T.v.

"I thought she left." My mum stood in the doorway of my bedroom.
"No."
"No?"
"No."
"I'm still your mother Ryan."
"Not Kieran's wife first."
"Ryan-"
"Oh sorry ex-wife."
"Ryan-"
"Or was marriage the requirement for that soddy teaching job."
"That soddy job is what pays for our lives."
"Am I meant to be grateful?"
"No but I'm trying."
"With the man that ruined me, yeah."
"Ryan where has all this anger come from."
"What do you mean? I have memories that I can't shake, scars that I can't remove. I take a shower, go to the beach, take off my shirt in front of a girl I like and I have a scar that falls halfway down my back."
"You blame me for that?" My mum sounded hurt, and honestly I wasn't sure why I was saying what I was. It was just coming out. Of course I blamed her, she could have come home when she thought I dodged her calls. She could have stayed with me. My sister could have told someone sooner. So many things could have happened, they were in a loop spinning in my mind but I never rebelled. I never truly blamed anyone. I just understood and after everything, after thinking I'd hate my sister, after hating myself, I ended up hating the person I loved most.
"Mum just leave."
"Ryan- I-" but her words floated away.
Hayley shuffled on my legs and lay her hand on my stomach.
"Has she seen it?"
"What?" I turned back to mum.
"The scar."
"Which one?"
"You have three Ryan."
"Three too many."  She sighed
"The one on your back."
"Yes."
"Did she-"
"She didn't ask about it."
"Are you-"
"She knows about my dad, about Emily," her head falls "about you."

"I should have come home. I just- I was free. It was just like a holiday to me, a get away from the kids, from my relationship. I never thought he'd- that you'd-"

"No one thought he would. That's why he got away with it. That's why he was revoked from sheriff and that's it. Nothing else, because no one ever thinks it'll happen until it does."

"You're right." She turned her head to leave.

"Mum I didn't blame you." She stiffened "Not always. I'm just scared. I don't- he can't-"

"He won't." She said it with such conviction. "I've notified the police of his breach. He should not be anywhere near me, Emily or you any time soon. He's corrupt, I see that."
"Will you quit mum?"
"Ry I can't. We need the money." I nodded, not really wanting to hear anymore. "But I'll try, I'll look for another job. Hopefully I'll find one." She flashed me a weak smile. She was always trying- never doing.
"You do believe me right Ryan? Things will get better." I smiled, I had to. There was a sick cruelty to her words.

"You know that's what he said. 'Chin up son. We'll be alright. Things will get better without your mother you'll see.' What a way that turned out."

There was nothing more to say. I wrapped my arms around Hayley and I closed my eyes. I just wanted to sleep and it greeted me with no hesitation.