Real Love (Completed)

37- Real Love

Two Months Later

"So Mrs. Carter how have you been since our last session?" Ms. Union Beyoncé's therapist asked. She was a close friend to Nicki so Beyoncé learned to trust her even when she didn't want to.

"I've been good, I'm learning how to deal with things." Beyoncé answered honestly.

She had been going to therapy four times a week over the last two months. She had some issues that were deep and some were from her childhood.

"So have you talked to your husband yet?" She asked.

"Kinda, I started working again so Claire had to either start regular school or be homeschooled. Considering what happened the last time I was opposed to getting another tutor so I signed her up for a private school. I bought everything she needed since I signed her up. Shawn dropped her off and normally Paula answers the door but I did. I told him she'd be going to school and he flipped. He said that I shouldn't have made the decision for her. I explained that he works and I work. What was she going to do?"

"I see, did you mention it to him before you signed up that you were thinking about it?"

"I tried but when I call Shawn he'll hand the phone to Clarissa without even speaking. If I tell Claire to give the phone to daddy he'll tell her he's busy and that he'll talk to me another time. It's frustrating because I'm actually trying. He try's to avoid me when he comes to the house and that was the first time in months that I was able to see and speak to him since he signed the papers."

"And how does that make you feel?"

"It hurts," Beyoncé said and a tear slipped out. Ms. union quickly handed her a tissue and let her continue.

"I remember after I slept with Calvin and he didn't call me or reach out, until he felt like it. It made me feel easy like he got what he wanted and that was it. I know Shawn's not like that but I can't help but feel like he's slipping away. Nobody has ever stayed with me. My sister left me, my parents' left, Calvin left and Now Shawn? I love the children but I'm scared that at some point they'll leave me too."

"Did you tell him about the baby?"

"No, but I don't want him to stay with me because of a child. I want him to stay because he loves me. I'm sure he'll stick around if he knows about the child that's not the issue."

"Why haven't you told him though?"

"I don't know, I mean I wasn't expecting it honestly. Corey is three

Months old. We had sex a month after he was born and before we officially separated. I wasn't expecting to get pregnant again but I am."

"If you become tired of waiting on him will you tell him."

"Yes eventually I will. I just don't want to tell him now because I don't want that to be the reason he stays."

"I quite understand," Ms. Union replied. "Have you been doing your writing?"

"Yes I do it daily, it eases my mind and helps get things off my chest immediately.

"That's good and I know you went to visit Calvin's grave how was that?"

"It was weird, I took my son with me. I didn't cry and I didn't feel sad actually seeing his grave. I felt relieved that he was gone. It was like a burden was lifted off of me. I talk to him as if he was there and when I was done I left feeling ten times better."

"How have you been sleeping?"

"I've been better, But I still don't sleep through the night. I'm still having the dream where I tell Shawn I'm pregnant and he gets mad leaves and the hospital calls me. It's the same scenario as Calvin expect his face is replaced with Shawn's."