𝓓𝓸 𝓘 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓨𝓸𝓾? ☞ 𝓒𝓓𝓪𝔀𝓰𝓥𝓐

Chapter 23

3rd POV~

As (Y/n) was still laying down, Connor thought of ways to talk to her. He paced his living room, bedroom and bathroom. "I can't just walk up to her and say kiss me..." Connor stopped pacing around and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "Ugh! Dammit! Why did Lili have to return to England?!" Connor yelled at himself. He was in front of a Mirror, acting like his reflection was (Y/n), but to him, none of his idea worked. At the moment, all he wanted to do was yell and let his anger out on himself. But he didn't, he stayed calm, although he felt like exploding into pieces.

As days turned into weeks then into a month, Connor and (Y/n) never had any unexpected run-ins. As the days flew by, after Mark and Sean visited (Y/n), she became depressed, started to hate herself since she never spoke to Connor. It was something she regretted everyday, but she figured that Lili and Connor were traveling Europe by now.

(Y/n)'s POV~

I sat on my bed, looking down at my phone. There was apart of me missing. I felt like dying right here in my room. Tears suddenly flooded my eyes and escaped from them, my heartstrings being pulled by nothing. I cried my heart out as I walked into my recording room. I opened my camera and wiped away my eyes before taking in a deep breath. I then his record. "Hey guys it's me (YT/n). Sorry I haven't made any covers lately, but a lot has been on my mind. I don't think I'll do the whole entire, around the world thing with Connor. So yeah. I'll probably do my next cover on a song I love, so please hang tight everyone and wait for my next cover, buh-bye." I stopped the recording and uploaded it on YouTube. I went back to my room and grabbed my guitar, playing a few notes. I suddenly thought of a song to thing. I went back to my recording room and set everything up. Hopefully I don't cry singing this song. I started the video and began to sing, as tears already flooded my eyes.

"The drugs you take will make you happy they say

It's another lie

And the steps you take to make the young girls break

Is no surprise

It's expected to come around."

"All I know everything goes

My way is no way it's yours

A warm day in heaven."

"The life you fake will make you good they say

It's another lie

And the plans you make to make up for mistakes

Are they helping out

They're gonna get you when you're down."

"All I know everything goes

My way is no way it's yours

A warm day in heaven."

I quickly uploaded the song as I turned off the camera and started to softly cry. I hated this feeling. Next thing I knew, I was heading down stairs and grabbing a knife, putting it to my wrist, slowly cutting myself, making each cut deeper than the other. The pain was terrible, but for some reason, I didn't care.

Connor's POV~

Lili came over again and was really ticking me off. My phone went off again, it was a YouTube notification. (Y/n) had uploaded another song cover. I plugged in my ear buds and listened to the song. As I watched the video, her eyes were getting glossy. She was about to cry, but the video ended when she said bye like normal. I sighed softly, I now knew that she was slowly becoming depressed, if not faster. I just hope she'll soon understand what's going on between Lili and I is not real.

[WARNING: The next few chapters may have thoughts of suicide, depression and self harm. Just to warn you, I'll go easy on the thoughts of suicide, but not too easy.]