Past, Present, No Future. (Harry Styles)

53. Some Nights

Ever since I recieved the email from my grandma I had been too scared to reply, but after a lot of heavy thinking and two ice cream tubs later I found myself hovering my fingers over the keyboard.

I would absolutely love to see you! But of course I can't just leave Wolverhampton, it might take a while, years even which I hope won't happen. Liam and I are already preparing for an arrival of some sort and we have to talk to our dad before going, but I promise you we will come for you.

I signed my name after typing the short letter pressing send and pulling myself away from the laptop.

I felt Harry's chin come down on the top of my head, "Sending love letters?" he asked.

"Yeah, to this surfer guy across the world" I joked with a giggle.

"He sounds like a dick" he laughed leaning down to see the screen which I had already closed.

"By the way" he said standing up and going to sit at the edge of the mattress, "Gen invited us to her boyfriend's 'yay I graduated high school lets get wasted' party"

I nodded with a yawn checking what time it was, "When is it?"

"Friday"

I bit my bottom lip, "I can't go" I muttered.

"Why not?" he asked calmly.

"I have a thing with my brother and-"

"Either you're planning on seeing your father or planning for that damn trip to Florida, either one you're seriously going to ditch a party for that?" he asked seeming genuinely surprised to my decisions.

"It may not seem much to you but it's extremely important to me and I would appreciate some support in this Harry" I stood up from the desk chair.

"And I would like some support in my problems"

"What problems? Getting wasted at some preppy party thrown by teenagers? That's not a problem!"

"I wasn't talking about that" now he was standing, "I'm saying all the other stuff, it's like you've forgotten about everything that happened last month!"

"What do you want me to do Harry! Throw away all the candles? Keep the stoves off? You pushed me away, locked me out how was I supposed to help you?!"

"You're fucked up" he muttered walking out of the room but I followed him.

"How am I fucked up?"

"Making fun of the way I harm myself is fucking messed up Vanessa!"

"Don't act as if you've never made fun of me Harry, or all the things you've said that I've decided to let go of!" I exclaimed following him down the stairs.

"That was so damn long ago Vanessa!"

"At least I didn't go around telling our friends that you hurt yourself!"

"I didn't tell anyone! Telling everyone and saying it to you without knowing they were there are two completely different things!!" he stopped walking turning to face me

"And I'm not half as bad as you were, it was a one time thing but you kept doing it and doing it until you were numb to it" he continued.

I glared at him, "My life was a mess!! My father hated me, his friends raped me for God's sake!!"

His features dropped, "Friends?" he said softly, "Plural?"

My features drop as well once I realised what I said, I covered my mouth shaking my head.

No one was supposed to know that, not even Liam.

"Friend, I meant friend. Only one" I said quickly.