Past, Present, No Future. (Harry Styles)

76. I'm (Not) Sorry

~ Harry's _ POV +

"What are you doing here?" my father asked, with the door opened ajar. Just enough for him to see me.

"I came to talk with you" I answered trying to open the door farther for me to come in.

He held the door firmly, refusing to let me in.

"You are trying to make me stay away?" I said to him, "It should be the other way around mate"

He glared at me through the sliver of open space between was, "How dare you come to my property" he spat.

"This isn't your property father, it's an old house in the middle of a bloody forest" I began, "And how dare me? What have I done to build up this anger, I've done nothing to you!" I began to yell.

"Shut up!" he opened the door walking outside, "You are ignorant and oblivious to what I can do to you!"

"What are you going to do?" I spat, "I'm twenty, you're no longer in charge of me. You lay a hand on me I will go to the police"

He continued to give me a glare, as if everything I have to hate him for was seeped into him. As if he had a reason to envy me, which he didn't.

"I just have one question" I told him, "Why? Why did you do that to me?"

He stayed silent.

"Fine" I gave up sitting on the first step of the old house, "You know I met a girl, she was amazing. But she had her own problems as well, kind of similar to mine. Her dad was fucked up as well. And I helped her through it as much as I could, because I knew what it was like to go through such shit pain and have no one there who understands. Having no one to talk too. I refused to let her have the same pain I had" I said more to myself than to him, "The pain you caused me"

"Get off my property"

"I wanted you gone" I ignored him, "For a log time I wanted you dead" I got up from the step to look to him, "I wanted you to feel what I felt. You were never there, dad, when my girlfriend died, you weren't there. When I was getting myself into illegal shit, you weren't there. When I ran away, you weren't fucking there. Because you are a coward, running away from your problems whilst I'm facing them-"

I felt his fist hit my face, his knee come to my stomach, his hands clench to my shirt.

He was doing it again, he was pushing me around. He knows that because he is bigger, he can push smaller people around. But I refused to be smaller.

I pushed him away, grabbing his own shirt and pushing him to the wall.

"Fucking hit me again" I said to him, "I dare you"

He tried prying my hands away from his clothing with no success.

I let him go, forcing him to the ground. I paced on the small porch, pulling at my hair.

"You ruined me!" I yelled at him, "You're the reason I'm such a fucked up person! I blame you!"

I crouched down having my breaths get deeper.

I blamed him. I blamed him for Ally. I blamed him for my fucked up decisions. I blamed him for Vanessa.

Getting myself together I stomped to him, bringing my hand to this collar of his shirt and hit him with my other fist as hard as I could.

"Do you know how long I've waited to do that?" I breathed out, letting him fall to the floor.

I remembered the plastic bag I had brought with me, I dug into my jacket's pocket taking out what was inside setting the bag aside.