Things you've never had // Ed Sheeran

Walls of silence

Hi there again! I don't really know what should I say about this chapter, maybe that this is the last a little bit boring one. :D
Anyways I hope you'll enjoy reading of this chapter and give me some feedback if you want to. :)
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"Come in." Ed mumbled awkwardly and gave me one of his slight smiles.
The forced one.
He turned back inside to his bus just to make me some space to entre his bus too.

"Will anybody else come?" He asked as he came to his fridge and opened it to see if there's anything to drink or eat.
Sure there was always something.

"Yeah,  Jeremiah will come around with camera and Joy with sound-things." I nodded as closed the doors behind me.

It wasn't so different from ours there, but more comfy.
After a while of thinking I had to admit that it was him who made it more comfy there... But not for me.

"You want something?" He asked me again as he took a quick look at me, hand leaned on fridge's doors.

"No, I'm good. Thanks." I mumbled, avoiding eye contact while I was just standing there and pressing that paper with notes for interview to my chest as a newborn baby, feeling awkwardly strange.

"Sit down, if you want to." He offered to me when he sat down on his couch a can of Cola in his hand, not even bother to look at me.

Gosh does anyone here drink anything else than this?!

I smiled a little when I sat down on the couch as far from him as the couch let me, I had no idea it would be that awkward.
But now we were sitting there, in horrible silence and we both were just praying for my coworkers to come so we could start behave normal again.

Suddenly I smelled lemon and it was as if a truck hit me right to the chest.
It brang back some memories I wanted to forget so badly.
I couldn't help but I felt that dumpling in my throat again, I was just few seconds away from cry.

How does it come that everytime I'm with this gingerhead I either wanna cry my soul out or laugh so hard I'm about to break all my ribs?

"So.. You set your life up as I see." Ed said after he cleaned his throat, I turned to him, surprised he's talking to me, he wasn't looking at me, he was leaned on his elbows pressed against his thighs, he kept playing with that non-opened can of Cola in his hands, flipping it in the air.

"Yeah, I did." I mumbled, trying to sound not interested in this conversation.

He just nodded, swallowing hardly.
"Today on the park spot you guys gon really crazy." He said again, obviously he just wanted to talk.
But I didn't.

"Yup, twins can get everyone crazy." I smiled a little when I thought about them, they are part of my team, and my team is like a family for me.

"I see.." Ed mumbled, opening that can of Cola, still didn't look at me.

And it was back again, that awkward silence wall we both felt so painfully buliding between us and suddenly all I wanted was build these walls of silence as high as possible, avoid contact with Mr. Fucking Sheeran, not ever let him see me again or talk with me again, cause it kills me a little every time he laid his eyes on me or speaks with me.
It really kills me.

"Chloè?" He said my name the same damn way as he used to.
My heart melted with that sound, I swallowed hardly as I turned my face to him.
He was watching me as if he wanted to say something really important.
And I was trapped in his eyes, these ice damn blue eyes, tired as no one's else.

Ed took a deep breath, slightly opening his lips.
I started to shake, unable to look away.
I didn't want to, but for a second I hoped we could...Maybe..just maybe start again...

What the fuck girl?! He dumped you as if you were nothing!!!

Suddenly I felt anger, all my fear and nervosity fell apart and I felt just endless anger against this ginger weirdo.
Right in that moment when I was deciding whether I should slap him or kill him, somebody knocked on the doors of his bus.

Ed broke our eye contact immediately, blinking few times, he obviously was shocked by what did just happen and went to open that doors.

I didn't realize I was holding my breath all the time when we were looking at each other, so I finally breathed out, totally confused and angry.

"Hi, I'm Joy and this is Jeremiah, we are here for that interview!" I heard Joy's absolutely unmistakeable voice full of ...joy.

I was so glad they were finaly here.

"Is everything okey?" Joy asked, skipping with her eyes between me and Ed.

"Yeah." I smiled weakly, not brave enough to look her into eyes.

"Yes. We'll start right now, or do you need some time for preparing?" Ed smiled at them with his polite slight smile as he sat down back on couch, placing one of his legs under his butt, he sat down as far away from me as possible.
I don't know whether or not did he do it on prupose or not but it hurt me a little.

"Give us just a minute." Joy answered him with the same polite smile.
She was the only one who always knew everything without even telling her.
And as much as I knew her I was sure that right in that moment the only things she wanted was thrust her black sharp nails into Ed's face and scrape his eyes out, just because she noticed something's bothering me.
That Ed is bothering me.

What in the world did I do to deserve a friend like her??

It warmed up my heart so much that I was able to smile and breath again without any hesitation.

I was watching them as they were preparing everything for this first interview and I was smiling just because that little fact Joy stood up for me, she didn't say a word but I knew it.

After a while I took a look on my notes, checking them for the 100th time, just to make sure I didn't forget anything, right in the moment I was reading the last question from that paper I felt eyes on me again, it made me uncomfortable so I turned to Ed to frown at him and make him stop.
But Ed wasn't watching me, he was playing some stupid game on his phone.
I raised my eyebrows in confussion.

If it wasn't him then who..?