Things you've never had // Ed Sheeran

Family reunion

Hi there, dear readers!
This chapter is published now!
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He, my father looked even more scarry and disgusting than the last time we saw each other, even tho he had just boxers and dirty tank top on, just a single look at him and I started to feel that endless fear growing inside of me as if I was that little girl again.

"Hi.." I said as bravely as I was able to, looking up at him, to meet his confused and always angry eyes.

He didn't seem to recognize me at first even tho he recognized me a moment later, but this wasn't anything extraordinary, this had happened to him since I remember.
He took a quick look at Ed, then back to me.
And then his eyes lighten up with a memory.
He recognized me.
But believe me, I'd be more happy if he didn't.

"Chloè..." He mumbled, voice rough and cold just as if he was tasting my name to remember how it sounds.

"Hi.. Dad.." I breathed out quietly again, what else could I say?

"Look who we got here! It's our little buggy, how are you now, when you left us?" Dad asked me with cheering voice when he leaned against the door frame and pulled a cigarette from behind his ear.

I took a quick look at Ed, he didn't seem to notice what's going on, mostly because we was speaking in French.

Happy ginger..

Ed didn't notice my dad's happy tone full of enthusiasm is fake and that sooner or later he'll jump on me and beat me like a dog.

"I'm fine. I'm on tour with this guy, actually. What about you and mum?" I answered as politely as I could, but strongly enough to show him I'm no more that freaked out mess he used to know.

"We're perfectly fine without you..Only Matt, oh..poor Matt, he has to work almost all day all night to keep us alive." Dad smiled on me with his brown teeth and I smelled cigarette smoke, alcohol and something like an old milk.

I gave all my power to not throw up immediately.

Suddenly Ed obviously understood what's going on, cause he took a little step to cover me behind himself.
He didn't even have to understand us to find out something wasn't okay.
He was ready to fight for me.

My heart would melt if I wasn't surrounded by what did dad say about Matt but before I could react on it, my dad went on with his mental abuse against me.

"Oh wow! You brought your boyfriend with yourself! He's brave, isn't he?! Let's see!" Dad was still laughing, but I saw that endless anger in his eyes when he clenched his palm into fist.

"No!" I yelled and pulled Ed away to cover him from my dad's punches.

The last thing I felt was when something really heavy crushed into my chest, leaving me breathless for a second.

It was my dad's fist hitting me to the chest instead of to the Ed's stomach, it hurt like I remembered it.

I took quick shocked look at Ed who just barely found his balance after I pushed him away to save him from my dad's anger.

For a few seconds everything went silent. Even the birds stopped with their singing, but when I think about it now... I've never heard the birds singing there.

Ed's face had filled with such an anger and regret and before I realized it, he was in front of me, pushing me behind himself again and before I had a chance to stop him he just punched my father to his stubbled smirking jaw.

I was forced to make a step back to hold my balance and then I could just watch how this usually calm and easygoing gingerhead is beating my father with such an anger I had never seen before.

But sooner than I'd think their roles changed and suddenly it was my father who was beating on Ed and be sure that my yelling didn't stop him from that.

Soon I was watching the worst scene I could imagine, Ed was lying on the ground and his face was nothing but blood while my dad was standing above him and beating o. him so aggressively I was sure he's gonna kill him.

I took a look around myself, looking for anything I'd use as a weapon to make my father stop and then I saw her.
My mother.

She was standing a half hidden behind the caravan's doors.
I noticed she had only pajamas on and she was even more skinny and pale than I remember.

I looked into her eyes, those beautiful bright green eyes, but they were empty, she was looking at me back with those eyes who used to bright up a whole house just when she smiled or even laughed with us when father wasn't home.
They were empty.
So was her.

She was just standing there and I was sure she didn't even know who am I, as if those two years somehow made her forget about me..

Mama...

Ed's painful yelp brought me back to the reality to find out there's no other option to do, than jump on my father and try to fight him.
Right in the moment when I was about to jump on my father and beat the hell out of him for even think about hurt Ed for just a second (don't freakin' ask me where I got that courage from, I don't know all I saw was just Ed beaten cause of me), somebody ran into them, knocking my father down.

Matt...?!

This time I didn't scream like a mentall, suddenly I knew for sure what I have to do- we used to absolve this with Matt for so many times- grab Ed and leave as quickly as possible.
But somehow I couldn't force myself to do that, it was as if I was paralyzed.
And even seeing Ed lying on the ground, his face nothing but blood and that he wasn't moving at all couldn't force me to move.

I started hyperventilate which was bad, I had had no panic paralyze since I moved out of here, but right now I felt how I'm still not able to control myself.
No matter what I thought I still was that little scarred girl under kitchen sink, helplessly paralyzed by fear and frustration.

"Chloshy! Grab him and go!!" I suddenly heard rough voice coming to me through the paralyzing fog, Matt's voice.

I focused my sight on him, he was now holding my father's neck, obviously he was winning, but who knows for how long?
That helped me to break that shitty paralyze and jump to Ed to bring him on feet.

He just barely knew where he was or what was he doing here so it was a bit problematic to manage him to walk with me.

"I'll meet you where's your car parked!" Matt yelled again and right in that moment he got a hard punch to the cheekbone from the father.

I almost ran towards them to help Matt, but Ed's weight deadly leaned against my body made it impossible for me, so I just groaned and grabbed Ed harder around his devasted waist, little did I know this won't end up any good..