Things you've never had // Ed Sheeran

Pre-concert

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"John! Josh! You two mentals! Stop hitting on that girl, she's obviously not interested and go to do some work, right now, or I'll fire you!" I snapped at twins while I was signaturing some papers about what we're gonna do here with all our cameras and so on.

Twins turned to me with dissapointed faces and that girl, obviously someone's assistant started to laugh loudly.

"You wouldn't do it, anyways!" Josh smirked on me as he came closer followed by his brother.

"Yeah, we're your secret crushes!" John added to brother's speech with the same smirk.

"Crushes or not, I'll kick your asses if you're not gonna do your work! Go to help others with shooting!" I frowned at them, but I had to smile, how handsome these guys are!

"You love us!!" They screamed before they runaway from my punches and went to see what's in need to do with shooting and so on.

"They're just like kids." I rolled my eyes with little chuckle on that woman who needed my sign on almost every paper in this damn building.

"I see." She laughed back and took that papers from me before she left me there.

And where were we? In Barcelona's concert hall, getting ready for the first ultimate concert of this tour.
For a while I was watching my employees doing their work, which was do some shots during Mr. Fucking Asshole Sheeran's preparing for this concert.

And since we're talking about him, where's he?

Mr. Fucking Asshole Sheeran was on the stage talking with some guy, both of them was reading some papers the guy was holding, probably they were discuss something about music.
I couldn't help but stare at him.
How that soft light from one of reflectors was slightly surrounding his figure dressed in old denim jeans and dark green T-shirt with long sleeves.
I was watching his face, so hypnotizing face.
He was frowning a little and sucking in his bottom lip as he rested his right arm on his guitar, totally focused and in his own world.
At least I thought it.
But right in the moment when I was about to look away, he looked up from those papers and met my eyes.
For a less than a second he seemed that he'll smile at me, but then his sight changed and even from that distance I could see an endless anger filling his face.

Yep, he's mad at me. Amazing! But boy, you should know this is my game and I'll win it one way or another, so don't you dare mess with me..! 

I was looking into his eyes till he finally looked down, with a feeling I won this round I went to see whether or not do my employees need any help.
A little satisfied smirk playing on my face.

"So, do you need any help here?" I said with the most cheerful voice I was able to fake.

"No, but.. Yeah. Chloè please tell us, do you want a small talk with Ed, there? Joy's ready to do it." Jeremiah smiled on me a pen between his teeth as he looked up from his camera to meet my eyes.

"Yeah... That.. Yeah, that's great idea.. I was thinking about it earlier, actually. Yeah, let's do this." I answered, thinking about it once again and scratching the back of my neck nervously.
Jeremiah gave me one of his bright smiles and nodded before he turned to Tim to talk with him about something.

"Chloè?" Joy mumbled quietly skipping with her eyes between me and something behind me.

"Hm?" I shaked my head to get away from my train of thoughts and focus on her.

"Someone's staring at you." She chuckled like a teen girl and started to chewing her pen, while she was still skipping with her eyes between me and someone behind me.

"What?" I frowned in confusion and turned immediately to see who she was taking about.
And met Mr. Fucking Asshole Sheeran's eyes.

Those damn blue hypnotizing eyes of his.

He looked away immediately and even turned his back to me to avoid me from seeing his face.

How childish.

I rolled my eyes once again before I turned back to Joy.

"I don't care." I said to her and left them to do their work to find a quiet peaceful place where I could fill my lungs with some good old nicotine..

***

You wouldn't believe how nervous could someone be during an interview which wasn't anything more than a small talk, but obviously Mr. Fucking Asshole Sheeran was a mister in nervosity, so I had a great time watching him doing an interview with Joy.
I was sitting on the seat in 5th row, far enough to not be seen from those around stage, but close enough to watch and hear that interview.
And if I should be honest with you I'd say I've never been enjoying something so much as this moment.

I was laughing quietly and enjoying every Mr. Fucking Asshole Sheeran's nervous gesture or face expression, it was really hilarious.
Yeah, I know this wasn't anything to laugh about, but I needed it.
I needed it so much to avoid that feeling of emptiness quickly growing in my mind.
I didn't even mean it... Or I wouldn't even mean it if I weren't mad at him as much as I was.

But before I could think more about how bad human being I am, Mr. Fucking Asshole Sheeran stood up and grabbed his guitar, obviously they finished an interview and he's about to.. Sing?!

You can't even imagine how big panic attack filled my body.
I couldn't even breathe and started to see little stars everytime I closed my eyes.
I knew for sure how it would end if I heard him singing, so I somehow managed myself to leave my seat and ran away from that hall before someone could stop me...

***

I found myself sitting on a windowsill in one of restrooms, leaned against the wall, knees attached to my chest I was inhaling slowly another dose of deadly smoke.
Isn't it really curious? I mean.. How something what's slowly killing you from the inside can make you feel so relaxed and happy in one moment?

"Chloè? Are you there?" I heard a voice coming to through doors of that restroom.

"Nope." I yelled back, exhausted that it took them only a half an hour before they found me.

Joy came in with a face my mother would gave me if I did something stupid.

"Do you need something?" I asked her, turning my sight back to the window, there wasn't anything to see but still it was better than Joy's 'mama face'.

"Yes. First of all give me a cigarette." She answered placing herself at the windowsill too.
I gave her one.

"Thanks." She mumbled as she lit up it and then took a long look at me.

"What?" I rolled my eyes.
Once in a while Joy get a feeling she has to give me a moral speech, so I already knew what's coming.

"You know..I'm not blind...You and Ed.. What did happened between you two since yesterday?" She asked me as if she really was my mother.

"Nothing..?" I tried it with a bright smile.

"Chlo..!" She snapped at me immediately.

"Okey... We had a talk earlier this day..." I told her the truth.

"And?" She raised her eyebrows, waiting for the rest of this story.
I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath before I told her what happened.

She was quiet for a long time, like everytime she had to think about something important and then she just again took a long look at me.

"Chlo.. Are you really sure you want to start this?" She asked me, voice serious like never before, her eyes were like an X-ray going right to my soul.
I took another deep breath and exhaled the last dose of smoke.
"I hope so.."

Suddenly someone angrily entered the restroom, we both turned to see who almost crushed the doors with anger.
It was Mr. Fucking Asshole Sheeran.

"Leave us alone." He groaned on Joy just barely holding his anger back..