Things you've never had // Ed Sheeran

Chill center

Hi there, dear readers! In case you were wondering what happened that I posted a few new chapters in so short time it's because I finally overcome a writer's block once again and I want to write as much as possible before it hits me again.
Anyway I hope you'll gonna love this chapter and leave me a vote or write a comment, anything to let me know what you think! :)
P.S.: Once in a while I have to apologize for my english skills but believe me I'm trying my best.
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Another day we had a total free day because after all it seemed in need and everyone decided to spend it at the nearby chill center, no one of us did know how the fuck is that place called but basically it was a house with two floors but you could see a ceiling there because there was just a railing in the inner side of the 1st floor so it was very impressive.
Everything there were made from wood, except chairs and pillows, which as we found out a moment later were more than comfortable to sit on.

And at this place you could order coffee, cocoa, hot chocolate or tea and even smoke turnip if you'd want to.
Or you could go upstairs and enjoy a library section there, which I found very amazing so I decided to check it out, while others will be smoking from a turnip and having fun.

"I'll go upstairs and maybe I'll found a book I haven't had read already." I informed them but no one seemed to notice I was even talking.
Joy and Matt were like a couple from a romantic movie, twins were flirting with a girls at the next table, Tim was smoking a turnip and Ed with Cherry?
Well, they were almost making out there, at least Cherry seemed to.

"Yeah, let's check it out." Jeremiah's face changed as a happy smile ran across his face.
I was a bit afraid that things may go an awkward way because of yesterday, but Jeremiah was totally cool and his behaving towards me didn't change a bit so I was completely fine with him joining me.

We stood up and without a word to others we started our way upstairs, but I swear I felt a piercing eyes on my back as we were heading there.

Some time later I totally lost a clue where Jeremiah was and he probably did too, because we both were so lost in this beautiful library section we totally forgot about each other and that's what I loved the most about it all, except books.
That centrain fact that someone is so into books like you that they leave you alone because themselves need to be alone too.

I leaned against the railing with my elbows, a book called Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman and let me tell you that this book just completely dragged me into it's world so the only thing which could break this beautiful curse was a pair of eyes piercing me from the distance.

After some time while I was trying so hard to ignore it I just looked up and met this deep ocean blue eyes of Ed's.
He didn't break the eye contact with me as I hoped for, instead of it he was playing with me a staring game based on who's gonna look angry at the other one for a longer time.

Ed raised his eyebrows and leaned against the backrest of his chair as he stretched his arms and put them behind his head casually, as if he wanted to tell me 'I can play this stupid game for as long as I'll have to'.
I slowly closed the book, never breaking an eye contact with him and getting more and more angry in every second of our eye battle.

I mean, who the fuck does he think he is?!

Suddenly Cherry appeared in the view by laying down on Ed's chest as she started to telling him something and smiling like a little girl, Ed, fortunately, broke our eye contact and looked down at her, a slight smile ran across his face, the soft one, and all my anger fell apart as it was replaced by endless sadness from seeing him giving a slight smile to her, the soft one, the one he fooled me with, the one he made me think he feels something for me with.

Bastard!

"I'm gonna grab a coffee, you wanna something?" Jeremiah suddenly appeared next to me with his usual bright smile some book in his hands as he leaned against the railing too.

"Ehm... What?" I gave him a confused look, because all my attention was dragged into Ed and Cherry at the moment.

"Coffee, downstairs. Wanna some?" Jeremiah repeated as a deep sight escaped his lips and when I turned to him he even gave me this kind of smile you put on when you talk with someone who is always a bit unfocused in the convo.

"Oh... Yeah that would be pretty awesome." I smiled at him and shook my head like little girls do, but then I got an idea.

"Jeremiah! Wait! I'll go with you." I called after him as I headed to him standing at the first step of the stairs, he turned back and gave me another bright smile, obviously he was alright with me joining him.

All the way downstairs I could feel someone's eyes on me, but at this point I didn't care, I just wanted to spend some great time with Jeremiah and not be forced to feel guilty because of it.
Ed made his choice now it was my time to make mine.
And I made a choice.

As we were standing at the bar waiting for our coffee, Jeremiah obviously spotted someone behind me because he frowned a little.

I turned immediately to see Ed heading to us, I took a quick look to see Cherry went to a restroom.

Oh poor Eddie! How brave you have to be to talk with me only at the moment when your girlfriend's not around...!

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" He asked me quietly as soon as he made it to us, he didn't even look to my eyes or anywhere else but on the floor.

I let out a deep sight and then just nodded without a word, to make him look up to my face, he did and immediately headed to this part of the chill center where we could have at least a bit of privacy- behind one of the decorative walls downstairs.

"What the fuck do you think you doin'?!" Ed hissed on me as soon as he made sure we were completely hidden behind the wall.

"What am I doing?!" I hissed back, surprised where did he got that rudeness to feel anything like cheated lover, because that was definitely how he was acting towards me.

"Yes! You think it's my fault that Cherry visited me?! It's not! I didn't invite her! So why do you have to force me to watch you making out with Jeremiah?!" Ed snapped at me, anger all over his face as if it was all my fault.

"What?! What the fuck do you think you are?! Walking all around and fooling me you feel something for me, but as soon as Cherry appears here I suddenly don't mean a shit! So do me a favor and stop with your moral speech!" I a half yelled at him which made a few people look our direction but I didn't really give a shit, all I saw was this ginger mess acting like a complete asshole once again, what a surprise!

He blinked a few times as if he couldn't believe what did I say to him a second ago and suddenly time froze as we were staring at each other.
Everything was like under water and time flow by as we were caught in the eyes of the other one, not able to say a word.
You know.. Relationships are hard.. I've never been through any but I heard a lot about it.
So I knew that this was exactly that moment when you have to make a decision.
And if you're lucky one of you will remember at least one reason to stay, and say something.
If you're lucky enough one of you will stand up and fight for your relationship.

Couple of minutes flow by and neither of us was able to remember a single reason and slowly, very slowly our anger fell apart and left a big hole of emptiness behind.
I could see it in his eyes as well as I felt it too.
The big space was  suddenly created between us without a chance to fix it again.

I took a deep breath as I shook my head above him and then left him standing there with a puzzled look in his deep ocean blue eyes filled with such a pain.

I left him standing there with eyes full of pain because my own were filling with tears once again and that was the last thing I'd want him to see..