Things you've never had // Ed Sheeran

Would you kiss me?

Hi there, dear readers! I hope you'll enjoy this chapter and don't forget to vote and comment!
Because after all this time we are finally almost at the end of our journey and your opinion is now important.. more than ever!
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I entered his bus and shards of broken glass all over the place were a clear reminder of what happened there.
The unqiue smell of Vodka was like a punch in the face and when my eyes automatically traveled to the wall there was still a wet stain of alcohol.

Ed threw a quick look at me as if he wanted to make sure I was there and then he just threw himself on the couch, leaning his head against the backrest he covered his face with his palms and gasped heavily.

I didn't know what to do so I was just standing there awkwardly and being completely quiet, because you never know what is in the mind of drunken people.

"I wish.. I wish I was sober and able to tell you how sorry I am for everything I have done to you..." Ed mumbled after a while and let out another deep sight, his face still undercover of his palms.

"There's nothing to be sorry for." I rolled my eyes as I quietly sat down on the couch next to him.
Of course there was a hundred of things to be sorry for but he and the love of his life just broke up what was I supposed to say?
Ed needed to feel better and if it mean I will forget about what did he do, then I will, at least for tonight.

"Oh come on... We both know I screwed up everything I could." Ed huffed and took a side look at me, eyes tired and glassy.

"I wasn't an ideal too." I shrugged my shoulders and handed him the beer he was trying to reach on.

Ed took a really long look at me as if he wanted to find something on my face or in my eyes, it could last at least a minute, then he took a long sip from his bottle, eyes closed firmly.

I was all quiet and nervous about this situation, I hated to stay with people who have problems and alcohol to deal with them.

Ed chuckled suddenly and when I looked back at him, his grin grew wider as he scratched his stubbled face.

"What?" I raised my eyebrows in confusion as I crossed my arms on my chest.

"Nothing.. J-just... I bailed on you because of her and here we are... You are taking care of me again... Even tho you should rather slap me in the face and leave..." Ed chuckled and took another sip of his beer before he faced me, face serious and hard to read in.

I shrugged my shoulders once again, he didn't seem he wanted to hear a word anyways.

"Can I have a question?" He asked politely, eyes searching and needy.

"Go ahead." I nodded as I jerked a little and looked down on my jeans, to avoid his searching eyes from seeing mines.

"Would you kiss me?" He mumbled, voice weak and pitch as if it took all his courage to ask me this.

I looked up into his face right away, eyes wide open and shock written all over my face.
Ed seemed that it was thanks to alcohol that he asked me such a thing, otherwise he wouldn't do this drama and he would just kiss me if he wanted to, he wouldn't act like a teenage girl when he sucked in his bottom lip and gave me his unique 'puppy eyes' kind of stare as a little smile appeared on his pale face.

After a while of dead silence I finally forced my lungs to breath in some air and my deep gasp was the only sound in this incredibly quiet bus.

When I finally managed myself to focus on Ed again, I saw he didn't change, he still had the puppy eyes and sucked in his bottom lip as a little smile never left his face.
Maybe his eyes were more nervous, but that was the only change.

"Oh.. Ed.. You are serious, aren't you?" I sighed heavily and when he just nodded excited about what was happening, I hid my face in my palms, another hopeless sight escaping my mouth.

"Ed... You are drunk. You dont mean this real and you would regret it later." I smiled on him weakly, hoping he'll understand what I was trying to say.

But Ed wasn't about to understand obviously, because suddenly he moved closer to me and nervously grabbed my chin to make me look up into his eyes.

How clichè...

"No! Chloè no! For the first time in my life I know exactly what am I doing! And I want to kiss you..." Ed hissed on me, eyes sober and wide open as every muscle in his body started to shake a little as if he couldn't take that pressure anymore.

I shook my head slightly as I felt a teardrop rolling down my face.
After all this time everything I had dreamt about is coming true and I can't enjoy it because I know he's doing it just to forget about Cherry, at least for a while.
And that simply wasn't fair.

"But if you don't feel it the same I won't force you... You can leave anytime you want." Ed moved back, face sadder than you could even imagine as he gifted me a little sad smile.

I took a long look into his damned blue eyes, if I do it there will be no coming back....

Oh fuck it..!

I grabbed his T-shirt by it's hem and pulled him closer to me as I pressed my lips to his, not leaving him an option to move back.

Let me tell you I had definitely no idea what was I doing or how should I keep going from now on, I just had enough of wandering around without doing absolutely nothing.

I was trying to calm down my heart beat, but without any real result, at least I wasn't alone in it, because even tho my eyes were closed firmly, still I could feel his shocked sight, that was only for a couple of seconds.
Then he parted his lips slightly, kissing me back very softly and carefully as if this was the first kiss for both of us, not just for me.

I felt those shivers slowly growing in my stomach when Ed grabbed me around my waist to get me closer to him, I felt how every his muscle was tensed and shaking.

He breathed out which warmed up my lips pressed against his soft sweet lips.

I chuckled in that kiss when he thickled me with his stubble, that made Ed stop and lean his forehead against mine as he smiled on me weakly.

It was just a kiss  and it didn't last long,  maybe just a couple of seconds, it wasn't even a french kiss, but for me it was as if he gave me a whole sky with all it's stars and moon on it's full phase.

He wasn't brave enough to look me into face after he broke our kiss, so I was scanning his face, his shaking eyelids, his wet and so soft lips, the way how heavily was he breathing after this one short kiss.

When he finally looked into my eyes, I saw his were filled with such a happiness that I couldn't help but smile on him as I grabbed his face into my hands softly.

In that moment it was just us and our first kiss, suddenly nothing else mattered and all we saw was just the other one.

That's enough...