Things you've never had // Ed Sheeran

First Interview

Hi there, everyone! As you can see from the title of this chapter, we've got a first interview here.
So enjoy your reading and please give me some feedback, I'd really appreciate it. :)
*******

It took them few minutes before they finally set everything correctly.

"We are ready." Jeremiah said when he placed his camera into right ankle and Joy just nodded on us.
I took a deep breath and grabbed that notebook with notes as tightly as I could trying to avoid my handshakes.

"Okey, hi Ed, this is your completely first Europe tour, so we'll start with your impressions, is that okey for you?" I smiled on Ed with bright professional smile.
He nodded and with the same proffesional smile he answered to me.

"Yeah that's definitely okey by me."
We both laughed a little cause it was exceptable from us to do.

"So tell me, how do you feel? Why are you doing this tour and how much excited are you about your first concert on this tour?" I asked him multiple question, still smiling on him and trying not to avoid eye contact.
Ed, reversely, was skipping with his eyes everywhere but on me, he was looking on his hands, to the camera, on Joy and Jeremiah, on the walls, nervous as no one else.
But I could only barely think it was because of me, he always does this, he just doesn't like to be in the centre of attention like this.

I was watching him, trying not to stare, as he was replying on my questions, with strong cheerful voice as if everything was perfectly normal and not in tension.

His ginger hair slightly messed, his shape of nose with a few freckles, his pale skin in this moment a little red, his pink lips slowly forming words and sentences, his ginger stubble he was scratching once in a while, his hands nervously playing with his phone...

We were continuing with an interview for another 5 minutes, when I finally came to that part where's my own question.
I swear I was about to faint on the ground before I asked this question.

"What is for you the biggest deal breaker with people?" I smiled on him, but it was preassured smile, I looked straight to his eyes, waiting for his response.

As soon as he heard my question he looked up on me, quickly, nervously, eyes wide open and scared.
He obviously knew for sure what I was talking about.
I didn't want to bring back shits from the past, but I needed to know.
He took a really deep breath, looking down on his hands.

"I don't really know how to response on this one, but I'll try to, usually it's unhonesty, hauteur, meanness, inhumanity.." He said, still looking on his hands in his lap, and I hardly took another breathe.

Was he talking about me?

But before I could speak again, he cleaned his throat and mumbled: "And sometimes I just get scared and run away." With these last words he looked up straight into my eyes.
That shocked me even more. I wasn't even able to move or say anything or breathe, I was just staring into his eyes as if he trapped me there somehow.

Those damn blue eyes of his.

It brang me back everything and for a second I was back in my little tiny flat a year ago, sitting with Ed on my old messed couch, in one of those nights we were talking and laughing as if there wasn't anything to worry about...
As if we never broke our contact, as if in this night it was again just us and our voices perfectly going together.
For a second I saw Ed as the guy he used to be, with that sensitive slight smile and sparkles in his ice blue eyes, as that shy and incredibly funny and kind guy he used to be a year ago.
I saw him.
For a moment I saw him like... The guy I used to love.

"Okey, I think that's enough for now." Joy interrupted our little personal moment with weird voice.
I jerked, blinking few times before I looked up on her.
She was watching me, better scanning me as if she wanted to find something in my face.

"Yeah, it's enough." I mumbled awkwardly as I stood up from the couch.

I didn't say a word to Ed and was just about to leave with Joy and Jeremiah when I heard Ed's voice again.

"Chloè..?" It sounded better like a question than anything else.
My heart melted, maybe he really wanted to fix it.
Joy looked at me with surprised sight before I turned back to Ed.

"Should we wait for you?" Joy asked me, voice so weird I couldn't ignore it. But I tried.

"No." I answered her, facing Ed.
My voice was as if I was in some kind of trance, unable to look anywhere but to Ed's eyes.

Maybe he really want to make it work again..

I took those few steps back to Ed, he was standing next to couch, eyes locked on me.
I didn't say a word, I was so scared I'd lose my control, so I stood there. Waiting for whatever he wanted to tell me.

"I-I..Just.." He stuttered shyly but then stopped, scratching the back of his neck as he looked away from my eyes.
"Your notebook.." He breathed out quietly and pointed on my notebook lying on the couch where I was sitting a few minutes ago.
I looked at it and then back to Ed's face, totally confused and shocked.
Then I finally understood.

"Oh.." I mumbled, blushing from fake hope and anger.

"Thanks." I said, voice cracked a bit when I grabbed it.

I took last look at him before I turned to leave, he was standing there, nervously scratching the back of his neck, looking on the floor, not even brave enough to look me in the face.

My first thought was slap him with that notebook to his damn face, but I resisted it quickly, that's not me.

I skipped from leg to leg before I finally turned to leave his bus, it was more than obvious he wanted me to leave anyway.

"Good night, Mr. Sheeran." I said through me theet, before I slammed the doors behind myself.
The last thing I heard was how Ed sighed and sat back on the couch.

***

"That asshole!!" I yelled angrily ans threw my notebook against the wall of our bus.
Everyone stood in shock, staring at me as if I lost my goddamn mind.
Only Joy knew what happened, immediately.
"Let's go for cigarette." She smiled at me, grabbing her cigarette pack and lighter before she pulled me out of our bus.

We sat down on the ground behind our bus, darkness around us as we lit up our cigarettes.
"He didn't apologize, did he?" She asked me, but it wasn't a question at all.
"No... Obviously." I smirked sarcastically and inhaled.
Joy was quiet for a long time, I was about to threw away cigarette butt and go back to our bus, when she finally spoke again.
"You know... You should give it a time... He regrets it already... But it needs time before he'll tell you... Believe me."
After that little speech she stood up and left me there just with my messed mind.

Oh if I only had a clue my mind wasn't the only messed one in that night...