That Summer When She Cried

That Rainy Day When They Argued

We went inside my condo as soon as we left Charm's place. He might have been scared enough with what I said dahil dumating sya in 20 minutes after we talked. He looked tired and in a bad mood kaya hindi ko na din pinatulan. I introduced him to my cousin and Charm gave me this scary smile. Iniisip nya talaga maiinlove ako kay Jeron.

Duh.

No one spoke as we both settled on the couch. When no one talked, I stood up and started preparing for dinner. For the past weeks, instead of him buying food, nagluluto na lang ako ng pagkain na gusto nya.

I just prepared fried chicken for the two of us. He remained quiet while watching an NBA game. His brows were still knitted the way it was when he picked me up at Charm's. I prepared the table and he wasn't doing anything.

Then I realized tatlong araw din pala kaming hindi nagpansinan. Seventy two hours!

"Seriously Jeron, swallowing your pride and talking to me is not a crime," I said, also upset. He didn't bother look at me nor say anything.

Nakakainis man, I stopped talking. I am not going to complain about doing the work kahit na sinadya ko syang galitin. Anyway, he's the one who bought the items on my fridge.

Anong magagawa ko kung pumasok sya sa loob ng condo na pinaggrocery ako?

"Let's eat," I told him.

He turned off the TV and threw the remote away. He silently joined me on the table and we ate. When we were both done, I stood up and gathered the plates. I headed straight to the sink to wash them. I was almost done when I felt him embrace me from behind while he settled his chin on my shoulders. He softly planted a kiss on my neck.

"I missed you, Mahal," he started. I didn't say anything and looked outside the window. "I'm sorry for the way I acted for the past few days. It might have been stated the wrong way but I didn't mean to do that. Alam mo naman na ayoko lang talagang may tumitingin sayo na kahit sino and we're attracting too much attention if you join that contest."

"Walang masama kung sasali ako dun," I told him calmly.

"I know. I'm here because I want to listen to you and hear your point. We can compromise if necessary," he told me.

Natigilan naman ako sa sinabi nya. Nagkakatotoo ba yung sinasabi ni Charm na failure lang ang ending ng plano ko? Bakit hindi sya nagwawala?

"Let's start with this," he said. "Don't think of me while I ask you these questions. Just tell me what you want."

I didn't answer.

"Why do you want to join that contest?"

Para inisin ka.

"Hindi ko alam. Gusto ko lang."

"Will there be any difference on your self-perception, self-worth, or confidence if you join that contest or not?" he asked me calmly. He wasn't pushing me into saying no but his voice was simply telling me he was trying to understand.

"W-Wala," I stammered.

"Would there be any regret if you wouldn't join?"

"Hindi ko alam. W-Wala naman siguro," I answered. Damn, I hate this conversation.

"Is this something that you can try for the meantime then back out if one of us does not want what's going to happen? Or maybe if you have changed your mind?" he asked me. "Because if you can do that, I'll let you join the contest until something comes up that will make one of us change our mind."

I was surprised with his sudden answer. Kelan lang todo ang pagtanggi nito sa sinabi ko. And his answer is making me guilty for doing it.

"H-Hindi pwede magback out kapag um-oo na," I told him.