That Summer When She Cried

That Night When She Dated Kyle

Our physical longing formed interest between the two of us. Then it branched out to something more colorful called friendship. We spent a lot of time together and before I knew it, the longing was somehow replaced with feelings enough to make you feel confused.

-Jeric

--

I stopped thinking about the game for it simply gave me reasons to argue with anyone who came across my way. It wasn't something sensible and I knew that what transpired was something beyond Tanya's control.

I went to see her the following morning as a way of saying sorry for the way I behaved the night before, without me saying anything while we were together. Rather, we just watched a movie and had dinner like what most couples do. But of course, we weren't an item.

We became okay and we were usually still seen together even if it was vacation time. Luke still didn't like me even if I didn't do anything. We argue like kids most of the time whenever he sees me and Tanya too close to each other. Andie and I are okay, even better than their relationship with each other.

Come the third Saturday of the basketball clinic that Andie and her friends organized, Tanya and I still didn't appear together which brought up a lot of questions from everyone. I disregarded their comments and allowed them to think of what they wanted to think.

Somehow, I was starting to ask what we really were. We weren't friends exactly because friends do not necessarily have to be together daily. But we were.

We weren't bestfriends because bestfriends do not really kiss each other in the lips.

We weren't a couple for I never courted her and she never said yes.

We weren't friends with benefits for it sounds too much for us to be called that way. We haven't gone beyond kissing after our last three failed attempts.

She never asked, I never did either. We just started getting used to the idea that we are there for each other in ways we do not know, in ways undefinable. We both knew that one without the other meant and felt less than being together.

It was as if Tanya became the answer to every question I had. Who I will go out with, who I will watch a movie with, who I will spend the weekend with, who will watch my game, it was all about her. And as long as I still have an answer, I became more complacent with the situation.

But it was something without rules nor boundaries. It was something that gives you enough space to breathe, enough air to make you live. It gave me freedom while feeling exclusive. It was like me being Genie although I was not in a lamp.

Although it leaves you on a situation that also leaves you with nothing but what ifs.

--

That Saturday morning on the last session of their basketball clinic program, I came early at her place to pick her up for the marathon that we were joining. She wasn't fond of such but I convinced her to try it out. I wanted to go 10k but for starters, she agreed to take three.

"What's your plan later?" I asked her while driving to the venue.

"I'm working later," she answered.

"May event ka na pupuntahan?" I asked her since she works as an event organizer. I saw her shook her head.

"Date."

"Date? Makikipag-date ka? Why would you go out on a date?" I complained. Since when did dates become work?

"Alam mo naman yun di ba? I'm a date for hire," she answered matter of fact. "Sinabi ko naman sayo dati yun."