That Summer When She Cried

Those Days When They Were Away

After that kiss, I felt like I am no longer the same. It felt weird, different, and earthly. I kissed her deeper and told her what I couldn't say. A song said that the universe will conspire to make us fuel and fire. We didn't need that. We were already burning and we were both scorched.

-Jeric

--

I meant what I did but I didn't intend to do it that way.

She kissed me and left me hanging with one finger to save myself on a cliff. And so I pulled her and repeated what she did, only that I did it ten times wilder and more intense. I wanted her to feel that if she left me hanging with a finger, she would have fallen this time because I made her let go of what she was holding on.

There was rage on it and a mixture of desire.

The moment that we went back to the boat, she kept quiet. She walked and crossed the rocks without saying anything, without her complaining even if half of her shirt was already submerged in the water. I handed her her shorts back before I left her behind. She took her seat without saying anything and we both stared somewhere farther than what our eyes reached.

I know we weren't okay. I don't know if it was because of what I called her or because of what I did.

The guys behind us were still having a good time but she refused to say anything nor look at me. When we got to Pundaquit, we all took our items and got off the boat. I wanted to offer my hand and help her get out but the moment I turned to her, she was already carrying her things, walking away from everyone, including her cousin.

I watched her from afar and Fort was the one who noticed the sudden indifference between us.

"May ginawa ka ba?" he asked me.

I shook my head even if it should have been a nod. "Hayaan mo sya. Moody lang talaga siguro. Isa pa, sya naman ang matapang di ba? It does not give her any right na mapikon."

"Parang di kasi bagay na tumahimik sya. Isa pa, maghihiwa-hiwalay na tayo. Malay mo di na kayo magkita, sayang naman," he said.

I shrugged and joined the rest of the team as we went back to the shore, ready to leave and go back to Manila. I saw her cousin running to get to her and then she smiled.

We were about to go home but I saw her stop on one of the restaurants in the area offering buffet. The rest of us were planning to dine somewhere but I stopped them.

"Gutom na ako," I told them and went inside the restaurant. I spotted an empty table and I headed straight to take it. Nagtataka man sila, they followed me when I went in. I took my plate and started serving myself while my eyes were silently scanning the area to find her. I was about to go back to my seat when I spotted her. It wasn't directly her. I saw Pe talking to the girl she was with then I saw her behind the girl. She saw me but immediately looked away.

I went back to our table and started eating. I kept on looking at her secretly and she was engaged on some conversation with the other girl. We were still eating when I felt Kim's elbow nudge me.

"Bakit?"

"Aalis na," he said and pointed her out. I saw Miss Irregularly Malnourished Fucker stand up from her seat. She gathered her hair and tied it on a bun. She has changed her clothes into a loose white shirt where she had her sleeves folded, then the front part of the shirt crumpled and ribboned to fit her body, exposing her stomach down to her navel.

"Ano naman?"

"Habulin mo na, alam naman namin na gusto mo. Be it for sex or not," Fort chided in.