That Summer When She Cried

That Rainy Day When I Paid For My Mistake

When I went to school that Monday, Kevin was singing Alicia Keys' Karma. I didn't know if I will laugh with the humor or just grab a knife and stab him until I see blood flowing.

I have texted them as to what happened while going home from the resort. Drunk that he was the previous night, all the boys have expressed their 'condolences' except him.

I saw Kaizen's stare at Kev. I guess I should leave it all up to him for the meantime.

"Alam mo ba na ikaw ang nagsabi sa kanya na puntahan si Karl sa Bataan?" Kaizen asked him with his sharp irritated stare.

It automatically shut Kevin's mouth. He didn't know that part.

"Ako?"

Kaizen just shook his head in annoyance.

"S-Sorry. Lasing l-lang," he excused. "Kap, kung hindi ka naman lasing, hindi mo ako papakinggan di ba?"

I just laughed at him. No matter what he said, kasalanan ko naman na ako yung nasasaktan sa mga oras na ito. No matter what he sang earlier, it wouldn't have happened if it wasn't my wrongdoing.

"Pero antagal na nun a. Ibig sabihin ikaw ang hindi naka-move on?" he added another question.

Kev's such a classic. Or maybe insensitive. Or maybe too frankly insensitive.

My face fell straight. "I liked Karl the first time I saw her. I didn't realize I will feel the same the second time it happens. I met her in June last year, fell in love, left her for a while. She went to see me by January, a time when I was cheating her. Then I see her one afternoon a few months later realizing that she will always have the same effect. I hope it doesn't happen to you because the feeling sucks bigtime."

"Mahirap yan, Kap. Utol mo na yung karibal mo," Aljon said.

"Hindi ko naman aagawin si Karl sa kanya. I don't have any right to steal her from my brother. I messed up, I pay for it," I said. "I just want to spend some days thinking how stupid I am for doing what I deserve."

"Paano si Reema?" Kaizen asked me.

I lurched. "I don't know. We've been like this. Maybe I'll just keep it the same way. Bahala na."

"Aren't you just complicating things? Making her stay beside you even if you no longer want to?" Aljon added.

"Kaya mo bang tanggapin yun? Family dinner, katapat mo ng upuan si Karl tapos katabi nya si Jeron, inaasikaso?" Kevin asked me.

I had it pictured in my mind. I was imagining it and I know it would be a tough situation. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang isasagot ko sa tanong nya.

Good thing that Lo rather stood up and pulled Kevin with him. If he can bring him to Mars for a while, that would help.

--

That's one of the things that he asked me carelessly though true. I needed to be on family dinner dates with Reema beside me, Karl in front of me. She and Shoti may not be too affectionate in front of the dining table but expect the opposite the moment we stand up. They barely let go of each other even if she may be talking to my sisters or parents.

I needed to bear seeing them whisper, giggle, laugh, tickle, and steal kisses from each other. It was painful but I have learned the habit of being silent when the lights are on. My pillows have been good company when I have to talk to myself at night.

I saw how contented and happy Jeron is with their current relationship and sorry that I am, I remained at the background silently. I stayed with Reema just because she goes back to me when she wants to. It seemed as if I took it because that was what's available.