That Summer When She Cried

His Summer After The Rain

I bowed my head and asked myself if I could be extraordinary even just for that day. I wanted to have x-ray and scanner eyes so I could search for her amongst the crowd, like what I do after every game, though I knew it was impossible.

People who have been long gone do not just reappear all of a sudden. They aren't bubbles that pop out of nowhere and eureka, she would be there.

When I lifted my head, I saw a brightly smiling sister who was on her way to embrace me.

"That was awesome Ahia! Proud of you brother!" she said.

I smiled at her and patted her back. I kissed my mother and hugged my father. We had some minutes of having our pictures taken, shook the hands of our opponents, and when it was all done, I retreated to our dugout feeling heavier than the team we beat.

It has been five years since the day that I graduated. Five years now that I have been playing for Rain or Shine.

I had a difficult time adjusting when I started with my PBA career. Primarily, I wasn't emotionally ready that time kahit na physically and mentally, I have long waited for that chance. It was difficult and somehow, I felt like I wasn't me for a while. I missed her badly and at the same time, I was conditioning my brain into understanding what she wanted to do even if I couldn't.

The first year was the hardest.

Si Kevin lang ang nagbibigay sa akin ng update about her. I was thinking that she would give up our situation and eventually just talk to me. Kahit na alam kong wala akong pinanghahawakan.

The boys and I were talking thru Skype one time when I saw her pass by. She didn't say anything but I badly felt how much I missed her. Gusto ko syang kausapin but there wasn't any way. I didn't really have the liberty to be away from our practices lalo pa that I was still struggling with my career and my position in the team.

I wasn't scared that she would find another guy anytime soon. I was confident that in the end, it would be me and her like what she has promised before she left. Pero hindi ko din maiwasan na mawalan ng tiwala, lalo pa na sinasadya nya na hindi kami magusap. What frightened me was the possibility of her forgetting about me completely.

Until the time came when Kevin was not able to tell me anything about her dahil lumipat na sya ng bahay. I guess it was like two years after she left Manila. She was already working as an Event Planner during the time that she stayed with Andie's family and she was mostly not at home. Sabi ni Kevin, she got a bigger opportunity that would require her to move from one place to another.

And that was the last time that I heard a news about her.

How do you hold on to something that you are not really sure of? What we have was the literal meaning of 'left hanging'. I was suspended in midair without anything to grasp while waiting.

I miss her and a crushing heart is not enough to describe how it feels at this time.

But I will always have that little, unstoppable, and unquestionable faith that in due time, we'll continue what we have started.

We just needed to pause for a while.

--

"Ayan na yung flight niya, kanina pa sinabing nakababa yung plane. Lumabas na dapat yun anytime soon," Forts said while doing his best to check the faces of the people going out of the arrival area.

Having a connection and being known for what we do, we were allowed to wait at the arrival area. It was 10:30 in the evening and we were told that their arrival time was 10:15 PM.

I looked at my watch and looked around. Kanina pa ako di mapakali kakatingin sa paligid, nagiisip kung anong mangyayari sa mga susunod na araw.

"Ready ka na Teng?" Pam nudged me and in a snap, took a photo right away with a flash. "The picture of a man waiting for his heart's arrival."