Makeup remover wipes S.M.

Chapter 39

One year later September 15 // Aaliyah's birthday//the septuplets birthday

Reese slowly guided me around but she holds me in a death grip. Her hands clamp around my bicep. I wear a hat in the crisp morning hut I don't really plan on taking it off. It's been one full year of chemo and after many many days where doctors thought I couldn't make it I pushed through and I'm going to surprise the babies I've never met. "They're really excited," she smiles running her hand over my back while she helps me into the car. "They don't know that you're coming but they know that it's their birthday and that's their main interest." She chuckles.

"I'm sorry," I mumble while she slides in on the drivers side. I left her with four kids for a year and then fifteen for a year. Our triplets are pretty much ready to leave and Adams gone, he goes to the University of British Columbia and we're very proud. We can't wait for Christmas so he can come home and visit. He came to the hospital to say goodbye to me, unfortunately it was during one of the worse parts of my recovery so he stood outside the door and waved. I waved back and we texted it was probably one of the hardest moments I've ever experienced as a parent. "I never meant for this."

"Me either," she chuckles pulling at her stretched skin. I think her modelling agency might force her into surgery to remove it. "But they're beautiful, I really think you'll like them." From what I know these last few months have been the hardest on her and aside from the kids everyone left the house. My parents and Aaliyah back to their house that they never sold and her parents the guest house, she just kept freaking out and loosing it and they all politely told her they'd leave and all else I know is from the kids who say she did have multiple episodes where she had to stay out of the house for long periods of time.

"I think I will too," I smile as we pull into the driveway. "It's like I was on tour," I chuckle turning but where I'd usually see guitars I see the one pitiful bag I got from my mom who came every two weeks give me new clothes and stuff even though I never touched any of it. "I missed you," I smile kissing her softly. I am no one hundred percent cancer free and I couldn't be happier. They want me to continue with a different type of chemo just to assure that it won't come back and I'll be heavily medicated apparently. "You're my home." I smile adding a little tongue to the kiss. It's soft and slow but so meaningful, I breath in her sighs, I can feel her moans and it's different than anything we've ever done.

"Welcome back," she smiles pulling away. Quickly she skips out of the car pulling the keys out and grabbing my bag before she helps me out of the car and slowly bringing me up the stairs. "They'll all be really happy." She smiles. I wish thing could've been different. I missed Adams going away and from what I hear he got a huge party. "And the babies love new people," she stands gripping true door handle before gasping. "And Skylar is super excited about having you home, she never lost her hope and now she's still tiny but she's doing so much, she'll be three this year." She sighs grabbing the handle and pushing it open. "I'm home!" She calls.

"Mama! Mama!" I can hear them like a stampede all of the running towards her.

"Sh," the hushes walking a little farther out leaving me to fend for myself. I can't move very well because I've never been allowed too. I moved to my kids though, whenever they were allowed in I walked towards them, I was usually out of breath but it was nice to hold them. I never did get to see Skylar visit and they stopped allowing Reese visits too. From what I'm told she came to the hospital every day and begged for about six months and then she started having her panic attacks and brake downs and apparently she had to have her parole officer in the house at all times. "I have a surprise for you," she smiles walking back towards me, the seemingly forgotten.

"Happy birthday," I smile at the little ones who back away. She probably didn't tell them anything about me. It hurts my heart, sitting here and watching them look so nervous. Thinking that this day one year ago they came into the world and this day one year ago I had to leave them without so much as a hello, so much as a hand hold. I got to see them once but still I have never met my little girl. Reese brought her into my room once and showed her to me but she slept and she was fussy.