WTF: Azkaban

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I don't normally condone writing on the pages of a paper book. It's a little rude to the author. But I've been spending some serious time re-reading this script with a red pen in hand and, let me tell you, the margins are now full of my scribbled thoughts (some more legible than others, due to the level of fury I was experiencing at the time). The title page, however, I've saved for a running list of "laws" that I felt were broken throughout the duration of the play. So, before I get into the meat of the analysis, I thought I would share them with you. Some of these are specific to Jack Thorne, some are simply because the story was told by a 2nd writer.

I think it's safe to say that if you've been hired to write a Harry Potter book by J.K. Rowling, and have been found to have broken more than 5 of these 20 laws, it's a lifetime sentence in Wizarding Prison. And straight away, Law No. 1 puts you on the road to Azkaban.


1. We want sequels from JKR, not you.

2. Seek her voice. If JKR's voice is missing, it will be noticed.

3. Do not make this book about you and your daddy issues.

4. Do not expect it to be well received. No one on earth can replicate that "charm".

5. If you're giving us a glimpse into the world we miss, it better be damn good.

6. Do not waste our time with generic imitation.

7. Do not try to overshadow the original Harry Potter books; nothing will beat them.

8. If you are weaving a story through Harry's, do not compromise the originals.

9. Do not disregard the rules of her world.

10. Do not resurrect anything that should have remained in the ground.

11. If the story is not fully written by JKR, do not claim it as anything but fanfiction.

12. Do your homework. We are very familiar with canon.

13. JKR is an outliner. Be consistent with your own narrative.

14. Never engineer the story to manipulate the reaction. If the writing is good, the emotions will happen naturally.

15. Do not pander to the fans. We want genuine fanservice.

16. Do not defile the wizarding world in any way.

17. Do not parody dynamic characters (Ron).

18. Do not misrepresent favorite characters (Harry, Hermione).

19. Do not reduce complex characters (Ginny, Dumbledore).

20. Do not ghost any of the main characters entirely (Neville, Luna).

 Do not ghost any of the main characters entirely (Neville, Luna)

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