Not My Canon!

WTF: Inconsistencies and Continuity

On Pottermore

While we were led to believe that the entirety of the play would be true to book canon (since it was conceived by the original creator and written by a self-professed superfan), it's clear that they were lazy in the research department. Some of the more minor discrepancies and inconsistencies with canon came from facts that were only recently established on Pottermore. Like Albus being a huge Quidditch fan, or that McGonagall was not Headmistress of Hogwarts. We also know that Ron had become a talented Auror (à la Kingsley Shacklebolt), and that the fireplaces at Hogwarts Castle weren't connected to the Floo Network.

Time-Turner

And then we have what was said on Pottermore about Time-Turners.

Oh, you couldn't find that?

That's right. They removed the article during previews of Cursed Child, when fans got ahold of the full summary and started arguing that the play contradicted canon and JKR's views on Pottermore. Their mistake was in failing to realize that we hardcore Potterheads keep records of everything and were immediately thrown into a tizzy over the potential revision of established facts. So (doused in irony), they had no choice but to return the article to Pottermore because changing their past statements would cause too much turmoil in the present. It was back up two months later, completely unrevised. That's right. They were so nervous that we would come with highlighters, they kept it the exact same, as someone stated on Reddit, "right down to the misuse of both the en-dash and the hyphen."

I believe the elements they wanted to remove, based on what was portrayed in Cursed Child, started with the first paragraph:

In spite of the many Muggle fantasies around the subject, time travel is possible in only a limited sense even in the magical world. While the subject is shrouded in great secrecy - investigations are ongoing in the Department of Mysteries - it appears that magic can take you only so far.

And then, more importantly, JKR's own words on why she had personally chosen to destroy her own creation:

I went far too light-heartedly into the subject of time travel in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. While I do not regret it (Prisoner of Azkaban is one of my favorite books in the series), it opened up a vast number of problems for me, because after all, if wizards could go back and undo problems, where were my future plots?

I solved the problem to my own satisfaction in stages. Firstly, I had Dumbledore and Hermione emphasize how dangerous it would be to be seen in the past, to remind the reader that there might be unforeseen and dangerous consequences as well as solutions in time travel. Secondly, I had Hermione give back the only Time-Turner ever to enter Hogwarts. Thirdly, I smashed all remaining Time-Turners during the battle in the Department of Mysteries, removing the possibility of reliving even short periods in the future.

This is just one example of the ways in which, when writing fantasy novels, one must be careful what one invents. For every benefit, there is usually a drawback.

I think it's plain to see why JKR would not want her past views available to the present reader because it looks like she completely abandoned her own beliefs in the development of this play. Yes, perhaps she "went far too light-heartedly into the subject of time travel", but if JKR was aware of it back then, what in Merlin's name was she doing bringing it back from the dead?!

Fans were quick to point this out to her.

So... y'know... Obliviate.

Continuity Errors

In an almost comical sense, these inconsistencies continued on in the writing team's own story development. Particularly in the case of wands.

At the end of Act 3, Delphi destroyed the wands of both Albus and Scorpius during her "reveal" as the antagonist. But during the fight against Delphi in Act 4, Albus has his wand back. Clearly, this was pointed out to JKR and Co. by a keener eye, but it was too late to reconfigure the final fight scene where Harry and his son are battling side by side. So, what did they do? Uh... let's just add a quick line a few scenes prior, when Albus and Scorpius realize they are lost in the past!

"Time to steal some wands and get potioning."

Really?! Just...steal some wands? Because they're just lying around back in the day? And even if they happened to get them, wouldn't multiple people losing their wands cause a massive ripple effect through time? I'll get to the more absurd stuff in a bit, but come on. You just slapped a hasty patch on a script full of plot holes that even the most basic fanfiction would avoid.

Oh, wait... It gets better!

In this battle where Albus miraculously has a wand to help his dad defeat Delphi, there is a moment when she disarms Harry. He dives for cover...only to have this happen next:

She fires the Killing Curse at ALBUS - but HARRY throws him out of the way. The bolt smashes into the ground. He fires a bolt back.

He... he what? Harry fires a bolt back?

Oh, just a bolt. I see.

NOOO!

HOW? How is that possible, exactly? He was disarmed. As in, NO WAND. Holy crap...what a reveal!! Harry Potter is the Emperor from Star Wars, you guys! What's with all these Star Wars references? Oh, yeah, Jack Thorne is a huge Star Wars fan and *was* writing Episode 9...before they gave him the proverbial boot.

Someone, if you're listening, bolt me to the back of the skull, por favor.