Not My Canon!

WTF: Nostalgia

Greatest Hits

Ask anyone who has read the play, and they'll tell you. The "familiar" elements in Cursed Child are all-consuming, as if the writers spent a weekend binging the movies with a pad of paper on their laps, listing out their favorite bits in the hope of producing a true Harry Potter sequel. And, sure, it felt good to be reminded of things at first, but, eventually, these moments felt more like the greatest hits of The Beatles being played by a U2 cover band. It felt right, kinda. But it felt more wrong. Beyond that, the whole endeavor came across like they were trying to win our approval with cheap callbacks.

We weren't even 200 words into the play, and already they were beating us over the head with nostalgia. Some fans will be surprised to learn that the language in the first scene, although familiar, is *not* from the books. It's pulled straight from the first Harry Potter film, almost verbatim.

GINNY: All you have to do is walk straight at the wall between platforms nine and ten.

LILY: I'm so excited.

HARRY: Don't stop and don't be scared you'll crash into it, that's very important. Best to do it at a run if you're nervous.

This scene alone reveals to us just how much the movie versions of the events and characters of Harry Potter influenced the writing team of Jack Thorne, John Tiffany, and J.K. Rowling. I still can't believe I'm associating her name with this. It makes sense when you take into account how all the characters (excluding the new generation) speak and behave in a way that's inconsistent with OS-Canon. Thorne was clearly a fan of the films. He may have read the books, but he didn't retain them and wasn't interested in using them as source material for "the 8th story".

The movies not only informed his story building, but there are many instances where nostalgia was actually driving the narrative. Just to name a few:

Our characters are using Polyjuice Potion again. And Time-Turners. There's a prophecy. Sneaking into the Ministry. The Triwizard Tournament. We're being confronted by Umbridge. We're in the toilets with Moaning Myrtle. The list goes on...

ALBUS/RON/SHREK

I wouldn't necessarily be so upset by this if their rehashes were in any way accurate. Like that time when Albus was Polyjuiced as Ron:

ALBUS/RON: Better out than in, that's what I say...

I think you were going for Hagrid on this one, but...and I don't mean to burst your bubble, it's actually closer to what Shrek always says. If we're being technical, the line from Hagrid in both the movie and the book is simply, "Better out than in." Quoting Shrek... in a misquote of Harry Potter... tisk tisk.

Didn't think I'd find another example of parallel thinking, but as Dumbledore always says, "I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder."

Hogwhere?

One of the more telling passages in the play is Harry's first dream sequence in Scene Eight when they bring us back almost entirely to his introduction to Hagrid at the Hut-On-The-Rock. While it does share similarities with OS-Canon and the first film, it diverges in strange ways. They rewrote some of the language without a purpose. JKR composed this scene masterfully, but now Harry says, "Hogwhere?" Hagrid says, "Oops-a-daisy." And Aunt Petunia tells young Harry, "Get back in your hole."

Get back in your...? I won't even try to understand that one.

I do, however, understand the draw to recapture the magic in readers. The Hut-On-The-Rock scene is unnecessary and an example of Harry Potter on Ice syndrome. They are retelling a part of the story we really care for, but it has absolutely nothing to do with the plot. It doesn't introduce us to any new characters or locations. It only serves to selfishly tug at our heartstrings with a sugary reminder of first love. Yes, that dream ends with the "unmistakable voice" of Voldemort, but without reason. It's a dream, so it could've arguably been a scene we've never been introduced to before. Maybe a moment we knew happened, but had never witnessed. Or something radical.

Be creative! I shouldn't have to tell you this!

First Year on Fast Forward

The forced nostalgia comes across like a lame excuse to make the play "feel" like a Harry Potter story without having the guts to give us something new, trusting that our connection will be there. They did the same thing by fast-tracking us through the first experiences of a new student at the School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. We take the Hogwarts Express, see the Trolley Lady, we watch as Albus is Sorted, we see his first flying lesson where they summon broomsticks to their hands. These moments feel like they are meant to be significant, like that dream of Harry's, and yet they were so casually wedged into the first act that they seem to exist outside the narrative. To me, they are the fortune cookies I will never eat at the bottom of my Chinese take-out bag. But a lot of people like fortune cookies, so...

My point is that this is not what I would expect from something official. We don't want recycled ideas. We prefer genuine nostalgia. And if you want us to revisit previously told story, give it to us in a new way. We want our minds blown by something totally unfamiliar, while still feeling secure and at home in our favorite world.

While I'm glad the Cursed Trio didn't play it safe, much of the script felt untrue to the original seven stories. And for the crimes they committed, the punishment is our never-ending ennui.

(I know. I know. I'm so poetic. Tell your friends.)