Not My Canon!

WTF: Enough Already

Welcome to the last of the ridiculous lack of logic section, brought to you by the only part of M. Clifford's brain that hasn't been completely vanquished by the immeasurable unpleasantness that is HARRY POTTER AND THE CURSED CHILD. Let us carry on, lest we go bonkers.

Draco's Time-Turner

It's revealed in Act Four that Draco had a time travel device in his possession (with greater powers than any other Time-Turner, of course). He kept it a secret over the rumors about his wife being incapable of having his child, and Scorpius as a potential heir of Lord Voldemort. Which is dumb. But it is what it is. We are meant to believe that Draco would have just kept this tremendously powerful device on a shelf somewhere, knowing full well that time travel could alter the past.

Put aside the fact that, according to OS-Canon, the opposite was established. Logically, you're telling us that Draco Malfoy would not have used his Time-Turner to... oh, I don't know... discover some magical solution to his wife's ailment? Or, heck, maybe to track down Scorpius the first time he went missing? Nah, we'll keep it a secret. For dramatic effect.

Diggory Lives

Right off the bat, the super-duper logical plan the writers present to the audience is that we're going back in time to save Cedric Diggory by making him fail the tasks of the Triwizard Tournament. Why? Well, if he wasn't there to grab the Triwizard Cup / Portkey, Harry would have been transported to face Voldemort alone. Thus, Diggory lives.

Let's begin by establishing something: Harry Potter and the Cursed Child was written for general audiences. This is why we were blessed (cursed?) with an exhausting number of call-backs and reminders of how even the most basic magic worked in the wizarding world. Realizing this to be the case, it should have been explained to the audience why their plan to save Cedric Diggory made sense. Causing him to lose the first task meant that he would be entering the hedge maze later than the champions who had done better in previous tasks. This was never mentioned in the play, leaving theatergoers confused. Just because some people may recall that the champions were allowed to enter the third task based on their point spread doesn't mean everyone remembers that. Explain things care-full-ee! Hell, you've got TWO DANG PLAYS WORTH OF TIME TO DO SO!

(We're not going to yell, today. Okay, Mike? Remember your mantra.)

I have a mantra?

(I assumed you did. You seem the type to need one.)

Whatever. If the counter-argument is that it would take too much time to explain such details, I'd sooner point you to the very concise explanation from the Goblet of Fire:

"Now, the champions who are leading on points will get a head start into the maze." Bagman grinned at Harry and Cedric. "Then Mr. Krum will enter... then Miss Delacour. But you'll all be in with a fighting chance, depending on how well you get past the obstacles. Should be fun, eh?"

That's 52 words, and could easily be trimmed down to 30. By my count, that's at least 948 less words than what they've given to Ludo Bagman in the script, as he repeatedly (and pointlessly) drums up excitement from the crowd with each trip our characters make to the past.

They work off so many assumptions. On one hand, yes, their plan offers them the chance to create alternate universes where bad things have taken place because of accidental miscalculations of the past. But, take a second here and think a few pages deeper. Why would losing the first task, or the second, automatically cause Cedric to lose the third and save his life? Where's the initial logic? I don't understand how that guarantees anything. It just means he has less points after the first task. It also ensures that Krum or Delacour have more points at the end. And what if Krum leading in the spread causes Harry to lose the tournament entirely? This MAKES NO SENSE! NOT TO MENTION THAT IT COMPLETELY OVERWRITES ONE OF HER BOOKS! Their plan to save Diggory is devoid of logic. I don't understand why JKR thought this was a good idea. It makes no sense.