Not My Canon!

WTF: Security, Gimmicks, and Timing

School Security

Here's a question that's been bugging me from the start: How in the name of Percival Weasley did Delphi get onto Hogwarts grounds so easily? She was never a student, or a teacher, or a staff member. She wasn't invited. She wasn't a visiting relative. So, how? How was she able to gain access (as we learned in the very first book of the series) to one of the safest places in the wizarding world? This passage from the play makes me laugh out loud every time I read it.

SCORPIUS walks unhappily down a staircase. DELPHI scurries in from the other side.

DELPHI: So - technically - I shouldn't be here.

SCORPIUS: Delphi?

DELPHI: In fact, technically I'm endangering our entire operation...which is not...well, I'm not a natural risk-taker as you know. I've never been to Hogwarts. Pretty lax security here, isn't there?

Lax security? Really? What about disguising the castle from Muggles, an inability to Apparate or Disapparate on school grounds, environmental safeguards like the mountain, the forbidden forest, the lake, and the Whomping Willow. The books seemed to specify quite clearly that school security was "tightened a hundredfold" after the return of Voldemort. Like anti-intruder jinxes on the walls and bewitched front gates. The idea that anyone could just stroll into the castle is ludicrous, and something that would come from poorly conceived, thoroughly unresearched fanfiction.

October 31, 1981

There is a lot of speculating from Albus and Scorpius when they're accidentally pulled back to the distant past with Delphi. They assume, by the date, that Delphi has traveled back in time to kill Harry Potter. So, they head to Godric's Hollow and look for a way to alert their parents in the future. The level of absurdity surrounding this is too much to handle in one post, so let's just touch on a single point. When their families show up suddenly in the past after decoding the note from the baby blanket, Albus explains what's going to happen.

ALBUS: She's here - she's trying to kill you, we think. Before Voldemort curses himself she's going to kill you and so break the prophecy.

How can Albus be so confident in this? Where did he obtain this information? He has nothing to go on because Delphi ditched them immediately. Of course, the smartest one of the bunch doesn't refute it in the slightest. In fact, both Harry and Hermione agree that this is the case... again with zero evidence beyond the date of their arrival.

HERMIONE: Time is of the essence. We need to get people into position.

Hurry. Get people into position! Because we totally know what time Delphi is coming! For some reason!

They eventually figure out that Delphi coming to kill Harry doesn't make sense. But all that does is waste our time with pointless tension and speculation, yet again, proving that the writers incorrectly believe that a play with characters who constantly act on assumptions is enjoyable to watch.

It's not.

Now, the gang understands that Delphi had chosen that date to stop Voldemort from trying to kill baby Harry, thus keeping the curse from rebounding onto her evil daddy. Forget the fact that this is a total paradox, because this action would eliminate Delphi's very existence... since she's a child of the reborn version of Voldemort (different body - Goblet of Fire)... which means that if she was never born, she can't go back to do this action in the first place!! But who needs logic in this play? If you just throw a bunch of words onto a page, call it canon, and say it all makes perfect sense, it just... does! IT'S MAGIC!!