Not My Canon!

WTF: Logic and Shortcomings

Some of the most common reviews of the play centered on one of the following complaints:

It was simple. It was sterile. It was vapid. It was shallow, weak, and predictable. It had no heart. It lacked creativity. It lacked cleverness. Where was the charm? Where was the whimsy? The wonder? The depth? The dimension? The Britishness? There was nothing new. Nothing special. Nothing interesting. They made Harry Potter less immersive, less impressive, less magical. They made Harry Potter embarrassing. The play relied on the contradiction of canon, the play nullified foundational components of the world, the play relied on the overused sci-fi trope of the "mirror universe". The play was dramatic for the sake of drama, awkward, forced, and poorly conceived. It stretched and it reached so often, it left us in need of a shoulder massage. At times, it was an insult burrito, filled with flawed plot devices, far-fetched scenarios, misconceived characters, contrived storylines, confused motivations, undesired plot twists, undeveloped scenes, manufactured authenticity, and stunning cliches. It was a cardboard cutout of the franchise we love, diminishing the original series, and not at all a worthwhile read. Ultimately, it was forgettable.

But beyond all these justifiable criticisms, my biggest grievance is that the play lacked a fundamental connection with logic and was oblivious to its own shortcomings. Here are a few instances.

(I'll try not to get too angry...)

Theodore Nott and Amos Diggory

Scenes Five and Six of Act One introduced the discovery of a hidden Time-Turner and the interest our characters may have in such a device. Harry's cheek is bloody in this scene. The raid on Theodore Nott's home just took place. No one knows about this Time-Turner, it's not common knowledge, and yet we learn soon after (like, later that night) that Amos Diggory is desperate for Harry to use time travel to go back and save Cedric. He brought his niece, Delphi, along for the ride to the Potter house.

This is strange because they begin by describing how often Amos has been trying to contact Harry Potter and was constantly denied. For two months, in fact. We know that since "the Hogwarts Express is about to depart for another year", Amos must have been eager to connect with Harry that summer. He was apparently interested in a memorial for Cedric, but now it's to use Nott's Time-Turner to correct the mistakes of the past and save his son from death. How does he even know about this Time-Turner??

Whatever. The real reason this is so confusing is because of Delphi. The play establishes in later scenes that Delphi, who is not Diggory's niece, had been living at St Oswald's Home for Old Witches and Wizards with Amos and confunding him for a while. Arguably, she is part of the reason why he was so eager to get in contact with Harry Potter in the first place. But what *exactly* was Delphi's plan before Harry suddenly found a Time-Turner? What was her motivation for confunding some random old dude? Why would she be using Amos Diggory for months, with the purposes of saving Cedric to fulfill a prophecy to "rebirth the Dark", when imagining such a plan was dependent on the discovery of a Time-Turner... WHICH JUST HAPPENED HOURS AGO! The timeline and Delphi's motivations defy logic completely.

The Extraordinary General Meeting

Scene Twelve of Act One opens on a frantic meeting at the Ministry of Magic (an Extraordinary General Meeting), where Hermione is so instantly impatient with the crowd while attempting to call order that she decides to pull a wand and "conjure silence" from them. First of all, this seems like a huge abuse of power and an invasion of personal will. Like, she's smothering their voices? Or removing them? Why? Just because they were talking when she wanted to speak? Mmmkay. TOTALLY in character for Hermione... C'mon, Jo.