Breakeven

Chapter 4

After Glen's news, I held my family that little bit closer and told them I loved them more than usual.  I was shook to the core.  I couldn't believe that someone as healthy as Glen could suddenly be facing such a major surgery and I couldn't even think of the worst-case scenario, I had to believe that everything would be alright and he would beat this thing.

But Glen didn't want us to treat him any differently so as much as me and Rina appreciated being told last night about his condition we decided it would be more 'normal' for just the lads to go and see him today.  They had rehearsals scheduled so they would've been together today anyway.

I know it sounds selfish, but as Danny left this morning, I smiled to myself as I thanked God that this was not 'us'.  I don't know how Sophie is managing to stay so calm, I couldn't cope if it was Danny, but I guess you don't know your own strength until it is tested.

I was incredibly grateful when my mum asked if she could collect the kids from school and take them out for dinner, I'm not functioning particularly well today so that was a huge weight off my mind.  I declined her offer to join them, making a pitiful excuse about giving her some time alone with the kids which she seemed to buy, maybe even was a little grateful herself as she thought I was doing her a favour.

I heard the door swinging open and moments later Danny joined me on the sofa, he seemed as though he was functioning on auto pilot and had little or no emotion.

"How's Glen?" I asked him.

"Who fucking knows?" Danny replied sounding exasperated. "He won't talk about tomorrow and keeps playing it down like it's nothing.  You know we met up today and all he wanted to do was run through the set list for the tour."

"I thought Sophie said he couldn't work after the op?"

"Well, not according to Glen" he sighed "Glen thinks it's business as usual and he made us do the full set list 6 times since we won't be there tomorrow.  You know, he hasn't even told Ben and Rodney why we are taking tomorrow off. I'm starting to think that last night was just a bad dream and I imagined it all."

"I wish you had imagined it all babe, but I was there too" I said as Danny hooked his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his chest.  "I guess we've just got to let him get through this however he sees fit"

"I just wish I knew where I stood Kay, I know it's selfish and I feel terrible for thinking like this but it's my career on the line too here, I mean the album has to be released and we can't change that now but he doesn't want anyone to know what's going on so how are we supposed to do the promo without him there?  Or will he be there?  I'm so worried about him too, he's having major surgery tomorrow and he's acting like he's getting a tooth out."

I simply didn't have the words; Danny's head was all over the place.  Worried about his friend but also selfishly wondering where this left him.  I'd be lying if I said that these thoughts hadn't crossed my mind too, I mean it would be great for us as a family if Danny didn't have to go away but we need to know where we stand.  My fingers played aimlessly with one of the buttons on his top as we cuddled together in silence.

"Where are the kids?" Danny asked, finally breaking the silence.

"My Mum's took them out for dinner" I told him "they shouldn't be much longer."

"Have you arranged anything for tomorrow?" He asked.

"No but I will" I told him before I started thinking out loud. "If Glen's op isn't until 10 then I can drop the kids off at school so we'll just have Keira, I don't know who to ask to have her, I mean do you not think it looks a bit strange, our mums are going to start asking questions you know."

"Kay, we can't tell them.  Glen hasn't even told Luke."

"What?" I questioned, sitting bolt upright to look at Danny.

"I know, don't look at me like that" he defended.  "He won't even discuss it, just said that he doesn't want to disturb Luke's tour."

"Fuck Danny, he's really not dealing with this is he?"

Danny didn't get the chance to answer as the door opened and my mum came in with the kids.  They were in a good mood and came to tell us about their day.  I listened to them intently, glad of a normal distraction while Danny went to put the kettle on and came back after a few minutes with tea for me, my mum and him.

"Were you good for Gran?" Danny asked the kids.

"Yep" came the reply from all of them. "Weren't we Gran?" Jessica asked my mum looking for some back up. My mum nodded in agreement.

"Dad, can we do some guitar practice?" Adam asked hopefully.

"Homework first" Danny said as he took Adam, Jessica and Alleysha through to the kitchen table to do their homework with them.

"Right little missy" I said as I lifter Keira "Let's get you bathed."

"Can I bath her?" my mum asked.  It never occurs to me that my mum likes doing 'the normal stuff' like bathing the kids.  I, of course, agreed so while my mum took Keira to get bathed, I sorted out her pyjamas and got all the kids clothes ready for the morning.

Once Keira was bathed and ready for bed, my mum brought her downstairs and sat reading a book to settle her down for the night.

I wandered through to the kitchen.  "How are we doing?" I asked.

"They've done their maths and spellings so we've just got reading left to do" Danny answered.

"Right, I'll do Alleysha and Jessica's reading with them, you two go and do an hours guitar practice but then, Adam, you need to do your reading before bed OK?"

"OK mum" Adam agreed immediately before he and Danny went to the music room.

I listened to Alleysha reading first while Jessica got ready for bed and then went to watch TV.  Alleysha struggled a bit with the book she is reading and I struggled at times to make sense of the story, but we got through it and then I took her to get ready for bed.

When I came back downstairs Jessica was curled up on the sofa already reading her book.  I sat down next to her.  "I just started reading it mum, hope that's OK?" she said.

"It's fine honey, but you need to read 2 chapters out loud so that I can mark it up for you for school"

Once everyone had finished their homework, my mum left and the kids headed off to bed.

Danny opened a bottle of wine and handed me a glass.  "I need this" I said with a smile before we settled down on the sofa to watch a film together.