Breakeven

Chapter 86

"OK honey, sleep tight" I said as I pulled the duvet up and tucked Keira into bed before kissing her forehead. I turned to Alleysha and found her already asleep on top of her bed. I lifted her into bed and tucked her in, sweeping her hair from her face as I smiled at my sleeping angel.

I went into Adams room, he was tucked up in bed watching something on his tablet. "Not too long Mr, do you want the light out?" I asked. He nodded but before I switched the light out he held his arms out to me asking for a hug. I walked over and sat on the edge of his bed, wrapping my arms around him and squeezing him tightly.

"I like being here Mum" he said with a smile as we pulled apart.

"So do I" I told him honestly before kissing his forehead and leaving the room, switching out the light as I went.

I went to check on Jessica who was already in bed. I walked over and straightened out her duvet making sure she was comfortable. "See you tomorrow sweetheart" I whispered as I leaned down and kissed her.

"I love you Mum" she told me.

"I love you too honey, now goodnight" I said making my way out of her room.

I came down the stairs feeling very happy with the way tonight has gone. "They're all settled Ailish" I said as I popped my head around the living room door just as I heard my taxi beeping its horn from outside.

"I'm just going to have this and I'll be heading up too" she said gesturing to the cup of tea she had in her hand.

"Thank you Ailish" I said sincerely, realising the level of freedom Danny and I have had since we've been here.

"No, thank you for coming back and getting them settled, now go and enjoy the rest of the party, I know Daniel will be waiting for you to get back." She said as I turned to make my way outside.

I got into the waiting taxi and told him the hotel I wanted to go to. "I'll try my best love, but the traffic has been really bad tonight, it's taking an absolute age to get anywhere" he told me as he started the meter.

We made idle chit chat along the journey, I kept glancing at my watch and staring out of the window. The car came to halt in the traffic and we were sat still for about 10 minutes before I decided that I would really be quicker to walk the rest of the way. I paid the driver and got out of the taxi stepping out into the cold Dublin night.

I pulled my jacket tightly around me and started to walk down the street, avoiding the drunken revellers as I went. I felt lonely and if I'm honest a little scared, I scolded myself for not just staying in the taxi but I couldn't stand to be just waiting around, not moving.

I was stood waiting to cross the road, looking desperately for a break in the traffic when someone grabbed my wrist and spun me around. "Liam?" I said as my eyes focussed on the figure.

"What are you doing out here on your own?" he asked

"I'm fine" I replied, not feeling like it was any of his business what I was doing and refusing to feel the need to explain.

"You look freezing" he said as he removed his coat and wrapped it around my shoulders.

"No, honestly Liam, I'm fine" I said again, "Where are all your friends?" I asked looking around for the group he had been with earlier.

"I lost them ages ago" he replied "Just been wandering around these streets trying to get my head straight. Can we maybe grab that drink?" he asked hopefully.

"Liam I'm just on my way to a party, I haven't really got time right now." I said edging away from him.

"Oh.." was his only reply as his head dropped and he was just staring at the ground, which made me wonder what was going on.

"Are you OK?" I asked.

"Not really," he started "I thought I was over you, I thought I was moving on Kay, fuck I'm supposed to get married next week. But if that's what was really meant for me then why would fate have me bump into you tonight, do you believe in fate Kay?"

What could I say to that question, of course I believe in fate. It was fate that put me and Danny in that hotel bar all those years ago and led to me having the life I love now. But I stood looking at Liam and knew that he meant the twist of fate that had brought us back together tonight and that wasn't something I really gave much thought to. "I believe that everything happens for a reason" I offered as my only reply.

"So do I" he said, his head lifting and his eyes connecting with mine, he smiled, a comforting smile. "There was a reason that brought you into the hospital that I worked in, there was a reason that we became so close, and I thought that I could move on from our relationship but next week I'm supposed to marry a girl that could never be you and I just really think that she's only come into my life so that fate could put me here in Dublin, of all places, and I'd get the chance to reconnect with you. I mean what are the chances of bumping into you twice in one night."

Silence filled the air, I couldn't respond to what he said. Danny being completely irresponsible was what brought me into the hospital he worked in. We became so close because he was there for me at a time when Danny wasn't, the hardest time of my life and a virtual stranger became like my best friend. But that's all it ever was to me, a friendship. "We never had a relationship Liam" I said as I took his coat from around my shoulders and held my arm outstretched offering it back to him.

"But we could of, we would've been great together, I don't understand why you can't see that?" he was almost pleading with me.

In any other circumstance I would've just walked away, but I felt a strange connection to Liam, maybe because of all he did from Adam.  "In another world at another time, then who knows Liam, maybe we could've. But I'm married, and you're about to get married, so we can never be anything."

He grabbed my shoulders and forced his lips against mine. It took me completely by shock and I just stood there, frozen in his arms and let him kiss me. As he pulled away, he mumbled, "I'm sorry Kay, I'm sorry to put this on you but I just want us to be together, and you must have felt that too, otherwise you would've pushed me away"

I couldn't answer him, I felt a huge pang of guilt that I hadn't pushed him away. But I couldn't stay here, I turned and ran. I was only a few steps away when I heard Liam calling my name and I don't know why but I turned to look at him. He just stood there, not saying a word, I smiled nervously.....