Breakeven

Chapter 64

I woke early the next morning, as my eyes opened I felt instant contentment as I found myself cuddled into Danny's chest. I lay listening to his breathing as I felt the movement of his chest rising and falling with every breath. My contentment was soon replaced by the familiar knot in the pit of my stomach, I say familiar but it's almost 3 years since I've felt this knot, it's the feeling I get when he's about to leave us for tour.

I kissed his chest before easing my body away from his, being careful not to wake him before I pulled on a dressing gown and walked through to Keira's bedroom. I found her awake, playing contently with her teddy bears. "Wanna help me make breakfast?" I asked her as I entered the room.

"Mummy" she said, her arms outstretched. I lifted her up and hugged her tightly.

"Now what's all this I hear that you weren't good for Glen and Sophie last night?" I asked

"I was" she said looking worried.

"I heard that you wouldn't go to sleep because you wanted Daddy" I said

Her bottom lip came out as she looked at me. "It's ok honey, but you know sometimes Daddy won't be here when it's time to go to sleep, and no matter how much you cry it won't make him come back" she buried her head into my shoulder. "We have to be brave when Daddy isn't here, because he'll come back really soon you know."

"I just wanted Daddy" she said, looking as if she could burst into tears again. I didn't want to upset her, but I felt as if I had to try to talk to her about this because for the next 3 weeks, Danny won't be here.

"Remember when we talked about how Daddy would have to go away to work?" I asked.

"But not yet" she replied

I nodded, "Today, honey"

"No Mummy, not yet" she pleaded.

"Listen, Daddy is going to work and we are going to stay here but on Friday we'll go and see Daddy at work and we can spend the weekend with him, and we'll sleep on a special bus with beds and everything, now that will be a good adventure won't it?" I asked, trying my hardest to sound upbeat.

"Daddy stay" Keira said.

"He can't honey, but we have to be brave. So we're going to go and make breakfast and then you can give Daddy your card that you made for him and then he's going to go to work, ok"

"OK" she replied as she wriggled from my arms before she wandered over to her desk and got the card that she had made for Danny.

"Brave ok" I said as I looked at her.

"I'm a brave girl Mummy" she replied

"You are honey, now let's go and make some breakfast" I said as I lifted her up and headed downstairs.

As we walked into the kitchen I saw Glen making two cups of tea. "Morning Glen" I said as I sat Keira on the worktop and grabbed a cup to make some coffee.

"Morning Kay, I hope I didn't disturb you"

"Don't be daft, I'm just going to make breakfast, shall I make some for you and Sophie too?" I asked him.

"No, we're just going to have a cuppa and head home, we've still got some packing to do, and I think you'd be better with just the family this morning." He answered.

"Glen, you and Soph are family, are you sure you don't want some breakfast before you go?" I reassured him.

"No, thanks Kay but we're going to head off" he insisted.

"If you're sure" I said, hoping he'd change his mind.

"Yeah, I'm just going to take this up to Sophie" he said as he raised one of the mugs. I smiled as he left the kitchen.

"Right then missy" I said turning my attention back to Keira "What shall we make?"

"Pancakes" she said with a smile, it was a silly question to be honest as given the choice, Keira would eat pancakes for breakfast every day.

We started to make the pancakes and before long, we had quite a tower built up. I put them on a tray and then asked Keira to go and get Adam, Jessica and Alleysha up, deciding that since Glen and Sophie weren't joining us for breakfast, we would take breakfast to bed for Danny.

Keira scurried off to wake her siblings while I made tea, coffee and poured orange juice and added them to the tray. As I got to the top of the stairs, I found my 4 children waiting patiently on the landing for me to get there, each clutching their cards for Danny.

"Go on then" I said as I reached the top step and they flung the door to our bedroom open and ran to jump on the bed and wake Danny up.

"We made you these" Alleysha said, barely giving Danny a minute to wake up before she started pushing her card under his nose. "And I made you this" I added as I placed the tray of food and drinks down before climbing onto the bed and sitting cross legged by Danny's feet.

"Come on then, it's not breakfast in bed unless you get on the bed" Danny said sitting up and gesturing for the kids to get on the bed too.

We all sat together to eat breakfast, Danny read his good luck cards from the kids which made him smile, but I could see a hint of guilt as he looked at their words. I knew he would miss us as much as we would miss him and didn't really want to dwell on it too long.

"So, we got you this" I said as I got up from the bed and went to my bedside cabinet, taking out the wrapped gift I had left there. I handed it to Danny.

"How do you keep coming up with gifts?" he asked as he was taking the ribbons off the package.

I laughed, it's never much that I give him before tour but the gift has almost become a family tradition now.

He opened the picture of us all that I had framed, it was taken at the Italian restaurant on one of our family nights and I had put it in a silver frame that simply said 'Ohana'

"It means....." I started as my hand ran aimlessly over his.

"......Family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten" he said as his fingers interlocked with mine.

"Do you like it Daddy?" Alleysha asked full of excitement.

"I love it" Danny replied. "And I love you all" he said before showering the kids with kisses and hugs.