Breakeven

Chapter 89

As we approached, I felt the tears choking me again.  I had to hold it together for the kids.  This is all they have left and I need to make sure that Kay is always a part of their lives as they grow up.  Alleyshia and Keira let go of my hand as the four kids ran the last few steps with the flowers they had brought.  I stopped in my tracks as I admired the scene of my four kids, doing all that they could for their mum.

My eyes focussed on the stone:

Here lies Kay O'Donoghue

Wife of Daniel

Mother to Adam, Jessica, Alleyshia and Keira

Taken too soon

Never Forgotten

It didn't matter how many times I saw the headstone, it still hurt me every time.  A tear trickled down my face and my hand shifted to wipe it quickly.  None of this made any sense, but accidents rarely do.  Kay only left the party that night to put the kids to bed, I had no idea that the next time I saw her she would be fighting for her life.

I'll never understand why the taxi didn't bring her right to the hotel, drop her at the door, and everything would've been fine. Instead, somehow, she was hit by a car as she crossed the road just a couple of blocks from the hotel.  The night is all a bit of a blur if I'm honest but it was some of our fans who managed to get a message to me that Kay was hurt, I just ran, as fast as my legs would carry me, and then I saw the sight that will haunt me for the rest of my life, my beautiful wife, lying in the road, dying.

I arrived at her side before the ambulance got there, I felt so helpless as I cradled her in my arms, trying desperately to reassure her that she was going to be ok, that help was on its way, but as her breathing became more laboured I knew that her injuries were far beyond her broken legs or the cut on the side of her face which were visible.

I would never have wished the pain of that night on my worst enemy, but I will never be able to thank those fans who got the message to me enough.  Without them I'd have continued to party while my wife lay alone in that road.  Instead I was able to hold her one last time, to make sure she knew just how much she is loved.  There was a moment where Kay seemed to accept her fate, as if she knew that she wasn't going to make it and I'll always remember her fighting to look in my eyes and making me promise that I will raise our children to be the best that they can be and that I'll tell them every day how much their Mum loved them and how proud she would've been.  At the time I just got angry at her, realising that she was giving in, I wanted her to fight, I wanted her to live.  But I made the promise, and I've kept it, every day since.

With her final breaths, and determination in her face as she fought to speak, she told me that she couldn't have wished for a better life, that I was the best thing that ever happened to her.  I remember telling her that I couldn't go on without her, urging her to stay with me but then the harsh reality hit me too and I simply leaned down and kissed her, one last time, savouring the taste of her mouth on mine as I knew that I'd never get the chance to kiss her again.  And then, I felt the life slip from her body, I knew she was gone but I stayed on that road holding her in my arms until the ambulance finally arrived.  Kay was declared dead at the scene, and my life would never be the same again.

I walked over to the kids, and I helped them as they were picking up litter that had blown onto their Mums grave.  "Your Mum would be so proud of all of you" I said with a smile "You're all so brave"

I looked up and saw Mark and Rina and Sophie and Glen walking towards us.  Glen looked at me in a way that asked permission for them to come over.  I nodded and stood up walking towards them before hugging Glen and Sophie in turn.  "I'm sorry I didn't wait for you, I just needed to get in here" I said to them both.

"No explanation needed" Glen said in his reassuring tone.

I peered into the pram and saw that Kay had started to stir from her sleep.  "Where's that gorgeous girl?" I asked as my fingers stroked her cheek gently.  "Can I lift her?" I asked Sophie, who nodded her approval and I gently lifted Kay from her pram, cuddling her close to my chest.

"Is Kay awake Dad? Can I hold her?" Jessica asked as she came over to join us.

"Maybe when we get home" I told her, realising that Sophie wouldn't want Kay to be out of her pram for too long.

"Sophie, how has your baby got the same name as my Mummy?" Alleyshia asked inquisitively.  Sophie looked to me seeking permission to answer the question, I smiled.

"Well, your Mummy was the first person I told when I found out I was going to have a baby and she told me that if it was a girl, I should name her Kay, just like your Mummy, so that's just what I did." Sophie explained to Alleyshia in an upbeat tone.

"I'd like a baby to be named after me" Alleyshia said as she glanced around the group as if assessing who was most likely to have the next baby.

"Then you need to make yourself as loved as your Mummy was so that one day, someone will look at who they'd like their baby girl to grow up to be like, and they'll choose you." Sophie said with a smile.

I leaned over and kissed Sophie's cheek, blown away by her words.  "Thank you" I whispered.

"Dad will you tell us the story of how you and Mum met?" Jessica asked.

"Again?" I asked, unable to count the number of times the kids have heard the story.

"I like it though" she said, a pleading in her voice.

I tucked Kay back into her pram before taking Jessica's hand as we started to walk.

"Well, it all started a long long time ago........."