Breakeven

Chapter 16

It took about a week and a half for the withdrawal symptoms to pass, I say they've passed, what I really mean is that Danny is now able to function more normally.  He is still suffering from anxiety and his sleep pattern is erratic but the kids believe he has recovered from his 'flu'.

I'm trying to stay positive about our relationship, I still love Danny but the truth is, I just don't trust him the way I used to and I'm now putting a huge strain on us because of this.  Every time he walks out the door I drive myself crazy wondering where he is and what he's doing, I've never felt like this before.  And it's made worse by the fact that its 'our dirty little secret', nobody knows about Danny's addiction and that isolates me even more because I have nobody who understands why I am the way that I am around him.

Danny is really trying hard to put my mind at ease and I really respect him for that.  He's finally agreed to tell Mark and Glen what's been going on, probably because I told him that I didn't think I could trust him to go out on tour again without them knowing.  I know that they won't be touring anytime soon with Glen still undergoing treatment but it's all looking positive for Glen so he could be back at work by the end of the year and since we found that out, Danny's focus has been on getting back out with the band.

So tonight we've got Mark, Rina, Glen and Sophie coming over for dinner and a bit of a catch up and Danny has agreed to tell them about his issues recently.  I'm really nervous about it, I know that these are our best friends and I have no reason to think that they won't be 100% supportive but on the other hand, I have no idea how they will react.

With the kids now on their summer break from school it seemed like a good time to have a family day, not only did it give us the chance to spend some time together but it also gave me and Danny a chance to wear the kids out so that they will go to bed tonight when everyone comes around, so we spent the afternoon at a trampoline park.  I must admit it was a great afternoon, for a while I felt like I didn't have a care in the world and we were back to being the happy family that I remembered.  The kids seem to have enjoyed themselves as well so I'm calling that a huge success.

Arriving back home, I kicked off my shoes as the kids all ran in their separate directions into the house.  Danny followed me in with Keira in his arms.  "Do you want to cook or sort the kids out?" he asked me as he closed the door behind him.

"I don't mind, do you have a preference?" I asked

"No, not really." He replied as he kissed my cheek. "Why don't you go and have a bath, I can sort the kids out for now and then you can decide when you've had some time to yourself."

"Really?" I asked, liking the sound of that suggestion.

"Yeah, go on, you deserve it" He replied

I didn't need any more persuasion as I headed for the bathroom and was soon relaxed in a bubble bath with music playing in the background.

I didn't stay in the bath too long, and when I got out I went and sorted my hair out and put some make up on before pulling on sweat pants and a hoodie and heading downstairs.

I went into the kitchen and saw Danny starting to prepare dinner with Adam, Jessica and Alleysha all helping out.  Keira was sat in her high chair eating a banana and gurgling away to herself.

"Anything I can do to help?" I asked as I walked in.

Danny smiled as he turned to face me. "We've kind of got it under control." He said with a giggle.

"OK I'll set the table then" I said with a smile as I went to get the cutlery and place settings from the cupboard.

"Dad, I've finished this, what do I do next?" Jessica asked Danny and Danny's attention turned back to finding her another job to keep her busy.

After setting the table I went back to the kitchen and lifted Keira from her highchair.  "Bath time honey" I said to her as she clung to me.

After bathing Keira and reading her a story I put her into her cot and settled her for the night.  I switched on her night light and her baby monitor and took the receiver with me as I left her room.

I headed back downstairs and saw Danny and the kids on the sofa in the living room.  "Is she asleep?" he asked as I walked in.

"No, but I don't think she'll be long" I said as I sat down on one of the chairs.  "Do you need anything else done in the kitchen?"

"No mum, we've sorted it all" Adam said with an air of pride to his voice.

The doorbell rang and Jessica jumped up to answer it "That'll be Amber" she said as she went.

I rolled my eyes at Danny, I had forgotten that Amber was coming to stay tonight. 'It'll be fine' he mouthed to me and smiled.

"Right Alleysha, bath time" Danny said as he stood up from the sofa.

"I'll do it if you want" I said, feeling like I hadn't pulled my weight tonight, the choices were sort the kids or do the cooking and Danny has then done everything.

"No, it's fine" Danny replied, "I can get changed while I'm up there" he said as his eyes glanced over my choice of outfit.

"I'll get changed in a bit" I laughed

"Nah, you're gorgeous as you are" Danny said as he pecked my cheek before chasing Alleysha upstairs.

"Hi Mrs O'Donoghue" Amber said as she came into the living room.

"Hi Amber" I replied, giving up on telling her to call me Kay "How are you?"

"I'm good, thanks for letting me stay tonight, mum and dad are going out and I don't like my babysitter much so I'd much rather be here" she replied

"That's OK Amber, you know you're welcome anytime." I told her before turning my attention to Adam, "Do you want to get the takeaway menus and choose what you all want and I'll order your food?"

They settled on pizza so after I had placed the order for delivery I left them and went upstairs to get changed. 

I was looking through the wardrobe when I felt Danny's arms wrapping around me as he started to kiss my neck.  "I told you, you're gorgeous as you are" he whispered into my ear, I turned around to face him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"I'm not keeping these clothes on" I laughed.

"Also, not a problem" Danny said as he pulled the hoodie over my head caressing my body.

"Danny, we've got a house full of kids, we can't" I said as he kissed my neck.

" I think you'll find, we can" Danny said with a smirk pushing me back onto the bed.