Positive?!

[62]

Mark:

I stared down at the pastel green cup with tea in my hands. The orange-golden liquid was still warm and smelled like chamomile. I slowly brought the cup to my lips and took a small sip.

I hadn't cried for long. It didn't really surprise me that he didn't return my feelings but I thought it was better to confess and hope that he loved me too than losing him to someone else without even trying to tell him.

Although I was over the pain for now, I was still pretty embarrassed that I had confessed and got rejected. I had decided to spend the night at Jinyoung's place. Did Jackson even notice that I had left?

He had still been in the backyard with Namjoon. I had left him a note just in case he would be worried. But no one could know if he cared. Maybe he disliked me now or started to threat me bad again so I wouldn't like him anymore.

I sighed softly and placed the cup on the small table next to Jinyoung's bed. The younger sat on the other side of the mattress and looked at me with worry in his eyes. I had already told him what had happened.

Jinyoung had always been full of scepticism when it came to the topic "Jackson". Even after he had changed his behaviour towards me and started to accept our child. My best friend didn't trust him.

I partly understood that he was just worried that I would get hurt because of the other male. Jinyoung was very protective when it came to his friends. On some days he really acted like a mother.

"Do you feel better?" He asked me carefully and looked relieved when I nodded. "Much better. I just had to cry the pain out and now I'm OK again." I told him and managed it to smile a bit.

He got up from the bed and went to his closet to get my favorite blanket. It was bright red with white dots on it. Jinyoung's mom had bought it when I was five years old and Jinyoung always gave it to me when I stayed overnight.

The younger handed me the fluffy red fabric and I slung it around my body. He sat down next to me and leaned his back against the wall behind him. I laid down, placing my head on his thigh and looked up to him.

"Thank you Jinyoungie." I said with a smile and made myself more comfortable. Jinyoung's warm hand ran through my hair while he smiled softly. "No problem, Markie." He answered.

I closed my eyes and enjoyed the familiar presence of my best friend. He was there for me whenever I needed him and I couldn't imagine my life without him. Jinyoung wasn't only my friend, he was my family.

"I'm very sorry that he rejected you. You deserve it to be loved but unluckily he can't see how great you are." My best friend said quietly and kept on playing with my messy black hair.

I chuckled softly and opened my eyes again. "Maybe I'm not great enough for him. But that's completely ok. No one can force him to love me." I smiled sadly and played with the hem of my hoodie.

Jinyoung sighed quietly but smiled. "Oh Mark, your too great for him. You forgave him all the things he has done although his insults have made you cry so many times in the past." He explained.

"I did it for our baby. And because I can see that he has changed." I smiled a bit when I thought of the few moments when Jackson and I had been happy because of our baby together.

"He didn't change Mark." The black-haired male said seriously and I looked at him in surprise. Why did he think that Jackson didn't change? He was much nicer now and had even become my friend.

"I know that he treats you quite good now and I appreciate that he's nicer to you but he hasn't changed at all. He's still mean to some other students and even to some of the teachers." Jinyoung told me.

I nodded a bit and looked down because I knew he was right. In the end Jackson only changed his behavior towards me. On the other side, he still treated the people like he did before.

Maybe he would be mean to me again if my pregnancy was over. Who knew if he really wanted to be nicer to me or if he just did it for the baby. I could just hope that he would still be my friend in the future.

"Maybe he hasn't changed but I still want to look at his good sides. He's the father of my baby girl and he deserves a chance to show that he can be a good father in the end." I looked up to my friend again.

He seemed to think about my words for some moments. I wasn't sure if he understood the way I thought about Jackson. On one hand he always tried to understand me but on the other hand he was worried because of the baby.

I had been his best friend since forever and my child was some kind of his niece and he was also the first one who knew about my pregnancy and helped me through the first months. Of course, he was worried about me and her.

"If you trust him, I will give him a chance too. Maybe he can really be a good father. That's what I hope. But you know I'm going to murder him if he hurts you or the baby seriously." Jinyoung said.

I chuckled and slung my arms around my best friend's upper body. "You're always too worried Jinyoungie. Everything will be fine." I smiled and cuddled my face in the hem of his dark blue shirt.

I could still feel his fingers running through my hair. The memories of my confession and Jackson's rejection still played in my head like a short movie but I tried to forget about them to make sure nothing would change.

I single tear rolled down my cheek but the sadness about the unspoken rejection was replaced by happiness and joy when I felt my daughter softly kicking me. She was there, she loved me and would never let me alone.

Jinyoung's hand in my hair, his familiar warmth and the constant kicks of my baby girl made me slowly get tired. I yawned and cuddled closer to Jinyoung who pulled the blanket over my whole body and his legs.

"Sweet dreams Markie." My best friend whispered and pressed a short and motherly kiss on my temple. I smiled a bit at his gesture. "Can you rub my belly?" I mumbled tiredly and hoped he understood me.

I could hear my friend chuckle lightly before I felt his hand stroking over my belly, his thumb moving in small circles just like my baby loved it. He was the only one who I had told about that.

My thoughts drifted to Jackson once again. How did he feel? Did my confession anger him? Did he feel bad because he had to reject me? I hoped he was alright. He shouldn't feel bad because of me.

My head was full of stuff and different thoughts kept on running around for some moments before my tiredness finally got me completely and let me drift in deep and calm sleep.

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Thank you for reading ♡