Positive?!

[69]

Jackson:

I looked at the older male who was sitting on the bed next to me holding his cup. He had come over to talk about the invitation of the university. He wanted to ask me what I was planning to do.

It was still some time until I actually had to know where I wanted to study but in this case they needed a soon reply because they needed to prepare everything for the summer vacation program.

I knew that Mark wanted me to go because it was my biggest dream but my feeling told me that he wasn't completely happy about me being on the other end of the country for six whole weeks.

The baby would be born then and he would have to take care of her alone during this time. But I was also sure that someone would help him. Maybe Jin would come to visit him because Namjoon had also gotten an invitation.

But he didn't know if he would accept it. He didn't want to leave Jin alone for so long and he most likely wouldn't study at that university anyway because he didn't want to move that far away.

He didn't live with his parents anymore and actually Jin could move with him too but the older male was working as a kindergarten teacher and he loved his children so much and Namjoon knew he didn't want to leave them.

I looked at Mark. The elder placed his cup on the bedside table and looked at me with mixed emotions. "So how have you decided? Will you do it?" He asked me with his typical quiet and calm voice.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I think I'm going to go there. It's just for the summer and I'm sure you'll manage six weeks without me." I told him with a little smile and patted his shoulder.

The black-haired boy nodded. "Six weeks are not that long. I'm sure everything will be alright here. And it's good that you have the possibility to see if you really want to study there next year." He smiled.

I realized that Mark smiled very rarely. At least when he was around me. I didn't know if it was because of me or if he just didn't want to smile. Or maybe we just talked about the wrong topics.

But unluckily there were a lot of serious topics we had to talk about. We even had to talk about our planned futures. No one could do something without asking the other if it was alright.

For example, I couldn't just decide that I would go to an university which was hundreds of kilometers away. Actually, it was my life and I could do what I wanted but I also couldn't just decide that Mark and the baby had to be alone.

I wouldn't mind to go at all but I didn't want to fight with Mark. The baby would grow up with separated parents and I didn't want to make it harder than necessary. It would be better if we were friends.

And as friends and the parents of a child we had to make sure that everything between us was alright. We had to work together as a team. And I was sure that it could also work when I was away.

"It has a great reputation. I'm pretty sure that I want to study there. I've worked for it my whole life." I admitted. Mark nodded slowly and played with the hem of his white jacket.

"I know. And that's why I definitely want you to follow your dreams. If you like the program, you should go there." He said and placed his hand on my arm. I looked at him in scepticism.

I couldn't believe that he would just let me go. He had done so much to make me get interested in the baby and now he was completely ok when I wanted to move? I was pretty sure there were some conditions.

There wasn't any person who would just let someone go to follow his dreams without getting something for it. "And what do you want in exchange? More money?" I asked him and raised my eyebrows.

Mark seemed a bit confused. "I want nothing. I only want you to be happy. I've always felt bad because I forced you to get involved with the baby although it was against your will. The least I can do is let you live your life like you've planned it."

And then I said nothing. I didn't know what to reply. Who would have expected that this talk would be so easy? I had expected Mark to stop me from going but luckily he seemed ok with everything.

So basically there was no problem with going to university. Being in a different city made it so much easier to focus of swimming and studying. Nothing and no one would distract me.

I partly felt bad because I would miss a lot of time with my daughter but if I did well in university, I would be able to get a good job and support her probably. It wouldn't harm anyone if I missed some months of her live.

"You know, you're actually a very great friend Mark." I said and gave the older male a short hug. He froze for a moment before he slowly and hesitantly hugged me back. I grinned slightly.

I was pretty sure that this was the first time we didn't hug because I wanted to comfort him. It was just a friendly and warm hug. It kinda felt like the hugs with my mother or maybe with my brother.

Some people would say that it was weird to compare him to a brother because we had had sex and were expecting a child but all of this wouldn't have happened without a huge amount of alcohol.

The night between us was something that we never talked about. It didn't mean anything to the both of us and we had agreed that it was better to forget about the intimacy between us and focus on a friendship.

And I had to admit that I preferred him as a friend. Being friends with someone like Mark was a great thing. He was the quiet but very caring kind of friend and I was sure that he would also be a similiar kind of father.

"You're a very great friend, too." Mark smiled softly which was replaced by a serious look a moment later. "But please do me one favor." He suddenly said what surprised me. I looked at the elder.

"No one knows if we are friends forever. And even if we fight someday, please don't forget about our baby. She needs you and I don't want her to suffer because we have problems again." He looked at me.

I understood that he feared that everything would go back to how it was when he wasn't pregnant anymore but I had promised myself that I wouldn't bully Mark anymore and I would keep that promise.

"I'm sure that we won't start to fight again but I promise you that I will never forget about her." I smiled at the black-haired boy who nodded in response to my words and stroke his belly.

I looked down at it and placed my hand next to his. "When is your next appointment?" I asked him although I knew that I most likely wouldn't be able to go with him because of my training.

"Next week. You have practice but I'm going to visit you when I'm done and then I'll tell you what the doctor said." He said with a small smile and leaned back. "Ok. I hope she's alright." I said and kept on stroking his belly feeling my baby's kicks.

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