𝐰𝐝𝐰 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 & 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬

Lil' Tokyo➰Jonah Marais

Maybe a day like that could change it all.
I mean, like, who else could I call?

Lil' Tokyo by Gnash

I regret not calling her at that time. I regret not thinking that I needed her help. I regret in believing that I was strong. I wasn't strong, and I did need help.

I was just too scared to ask.

Me and Y/N, we were in love.

We had those wild sparks that nobody else had. Everyday, we found a way to fall in love with each other even more.

It's not that I didn't love her, but for some reason, I distanced myself from her. I had found myself in deep situations, bad problems, and I didn't want to drag her down into them.

I didn't want her to waste her time for my miserable life. She was precious, everything she touched was precious, and I didn't want her to throw it all away so she could fix my problems. I needed to fix my issues, they were mine. Even if she wanted to help, she needed to go live her life the way she wanted to, free and wild, not dark and caged.

It was that one night where it all crumbled down.

I needed her so badly, I needed her help. Rehearsals and my job and stress were all piled together, and I couldn't deal with it. I wanted to text her or call her, just get her attention somehow so she could come over and help me.

But whenever I called her, and she came for me, I could see the exhaustion in her eyes, I could see that I was wasting her time.

But she couldn't see it.

I didn't call her, I didn't text her.

I would fix this myself, and I would do it properly without her help.

But the only thing that lead to was drinking, and drinking real late.

She was already home, and mad as hell. I stumbled inside, surely drunk. I hissed once she turned on the lights, revealing her beautiful self in its worst form.

"Where. Were. You." She let out.

"I was, um, out. With the guys." Her expression didn't change, it didn't soften, because that's when the boys came out from the dark, their expressions not impressed.

"You were out, with the guys?" She asked.

I gulped, nodded, and knew I had been busted. She looked at me disapprovingly. The air was thick with emotions and anger and disappointment. The boys sensed it along with me, and they exited the house, Zach slightly shaking his head while looking at the ground and sighing.

Her head turned towards the floor, elbows on her knees, her hands in her hair.

"Jonah," she began. It was stern, serious, unhappy. "We have always been there for each other. Right?"

I nodded again, and even though she couldn't see me, she knew that I did.

"You were stressed from work and rehearsals go to you. Right?" I nodded again. "So why. Didn't. You. Call. Me?" She finally looked up, removing her hand and looking me dead in the eyes.

I gulped, this time looking down myself. "I'm sorry." I mumbled, barely audible.

"What?" She asked.

"I'm sorry." I said it louder, and she heard me well.

"You're sorry?" She repeated my apology, almost shocked and disgusted. "Jonah, sorry won't cut it this time."